I married Mr Perfect then IVF woes drove me to sex with ‘bad boy’ 0 186

DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE always been seen as a “good girl” – I studied hard, have a good job and married Mr Perfect.

Until I met a proper bad boy through work, I had never put a foot wrong.

We’ve had the most adventurous and passionate sex I’ve ever experienced

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He’s opened up a side to me that I didn’t know existed.

Now I am torn between running a mile and throwing it all in for him.

I’m 31 and my husband is 34. He’s so lovely, kind and genuine but I have to admit there is no spontaneity.

We’ve been trying for a baby for three years and despite two rounds of IVF haven’t had any joy as yet.

He doesn’t want to talk about it. He was supportive to begin with but after our second IVF round failed, he said we need to enjoy life for a while and stop focusing on becoming parents.

I have been trying to embrace other projects and took on a promotion at work, managing my company’s big events.

I’ve loved the challenge and meeting all the new suppliers. I love the new team I work with. I’ve never been much of a drinker but over the past few months have got stuck in and had some pretty wild nights.

My new married boss always buys us all dinner and drinks.

I’ve heard he’s had a number of affairs, but still I couldn’t resist him.

One night as we both got the lift up to our hotel rooms, he leaned over and whispered in my ear that he couldn’t stop thinking about me.

I was so shocked at my response. My whole body melted and by the time the lift stopped we were wrapped around each other.

Since then we’ve had the most adventurous and passionate sex I’ve ever experienced.

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Now I can’t stop thinking about having sex with him again. He’s 46 and in really good shape.

I know my husband doesn’t deserve this but I really don’t know if I can go back to boring marital sex ever again.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Stop this affair now before you destroy your marriage and career.

You’ve thrown yourself into work to distract yourself from the fertility challenges you are living through.

And no doubt your affair is part of this escapism.



Boyfriend is still grieving his ex after eight years – so I have walked away

Turn your attention to your marriage and instead of running away from your fertility disappointments, you need to work through this challenge and all the options together.

Please contact the Fertility Network UK (0800 008 7464, fertilitynetworkuk.org) who can support you.

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Porn and Mental Health: The Challenges and Strategies for Coping in the Industry 0 177

Pornography is a billion-dollar industry that has gained widespread popularity across the globe. However, while it may be a source of entertainment for some, the industry can be challenging for performers’ mental health. The pressure to perform and meet the expectations of producers and viewers can take a toll on performers’ mental wellbeing. In this article, we’ll explore the challenges that the porn industry poses to mental health and strategies for coping with them.

The Challenges

  1. Stigma and Shame

The porn industry is still stigmatized, and performers can face a lot of shame and judgment from society. This can lead to a lot of stress and anxiety, making it difficult for performers to seek help and support when needed.

  1. Pressure to Perform

Performers in the porn industry are expected to meet certain expectations and perform at their best every time. This pressure can be overwhelming and can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem.

  1. Isolation and Loneliness

Performing in the porn industry can be a lonely experience, with performers spending long hours on set or on their own, away from friends and family. This can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness, which can take a toll on mental health.

  1. Trauma and Abuse

The porn industry is not immune to issues such as sexual harassment, assault, and exploitation. Performers may experience these traumatic events, leading to conditions such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and depression.

Strategies for Coping

Seek Professional Help

Performers in the porn industry should seek professional help and support when they need it. There are many therapists and counselors who specialize in working with performers in the industry and can help with issues such as anxiety, depression, and trauma.

Practice Self-Care

Self-care is crucial for performers in the porn industry. Taking breaks when needed, exercising, and practicing mindfulness and meditation can help performers manage stress and promote mental wellbeing.

Surround Yourself with Supportive People

Having a supportive network of friends, family, and colleagues can make a big difference in performers’ mental health. Surrounding yourself with people who understand the challenges of the industry and offer non-judgmental support can help performers cope with the stresses of the job.

Address Trauma and Abuse

Performers who have experienced trauma and abuse in the industry should seek support and address these issues head-on. This may involve therapy, reporting incidents to the authorities, and taking legal action if necessary.


The porn industry poses significant challenges to performers’ mental health, from stigma and shame to pressure to perform and trauma and abuse. However, with the right strategies, performers can cope with these challenges and maintain good mental wellbeing. Seeking professional help, practicing self-care, surrounding yourself with supportive people, and addressing trauma and abuse are just a few strategies that can help performers in the porn industry maintain good mental health.

Navigating Consent and Boundaries in the Porn Industry: A Guide for Newcomers 0 165

Consent and boundaries are crucial aspects of the porn industry, and it’s essential for newcomers to understand how to navigate these issues. In this article, we’ll provide a guide for those who are new to the industry on how to approach consent and boundaries in a professional and respectful manner.

First and foremost, it’s important to understand that consent is always required in the porn industry. This means that every actor must give explicit and enthusiastic consent to any sexual act that is portrayed on camera. Consent can be given verbally or non-verbally, but it must always be clear and enthusiastic.

In order to ensure that consent is obtained, communication is key. Actors should have open and honest conversations with their scene partners and the director prior to filming. They should discuss what they are comfortable with and what their boundaries are, as well as any specific instructions or concerns.

It’s also important for actors to feel empowered to set their own boundaries and to speak up if they feel uncomfortable or unsafe during filming. This means that if an actor does not want to perform a particular act or if they feel that their boundaries are being pushed, they have the right to stop the scene and speak to the director about their concerns.

It’s also essential for actors to be aware of their own physical and emotional limits. This means that they should take breaks as needed, communicate with their scene partner and director about any discomfort or pain, and engage in self-care practices to ensure that they are physically and emotionally prepared for the demands of the job.

Finally, it’s important for actors to have a support system in place. This can include talking to other actors who have experience in the industry, seeking out counseling or therapy, and having trusted friends and family members who can provide emotional support.

Navigating consent and boundaries in the porn industry can be challenging, but it’s an essential part of maintaining a safe and respectful work environment. By following these guidelines, newcomers to the industry can ensure that they are approaching these issues in a professional and responsible manner.

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