I married Mr Perfect then IVF woes drove me to sex with ‘bad boy’ 0 50

DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE always been seen as a “good girl” – I studied hard, have a good job and married Mr Perfect.

Until I met a proper bad boy through work, I had never put a foot wrong.

We’ve had the most adventurous and passionate sex I’ve ever experienced

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He’s opened up a side to me that I didn’t know existed.

Now I am torn between running a mile and throwing it all in for him.

I’m 31 and my husband is 34. He’s so lovely, kind and genuine but I have to admit there is no spontaneity.

We’ve been trying for a baby for three years and despite two rounds of IVF haven’t had any joy as yet.

He doesn’t want to talk about it. He was supportive to begin with but after our second IVF round failed, he said we need to enjoy life for a while and stop focusing on becoming parents.

I have been trying to embrace other projects and took on a promotion at work, managing my company’s big events.

I’ve loved the challenge and meeting all the new suppliers. I love the new team I work with. I’ve never been much of a drinker but over the past few months have got stuck in and had some pretty wild nights.

My new married boss always buys us all dinner and drinks.

I’ve heard he’s had a number of affairs, but still I couldn’t resist him.

One night as we both got the lift up to our hotel rooms, he leaned over and whispered in my ear that he couldn’t stop thinking about me.

I was so shocked at my response. My whole body melted and by the time the lift stopped we were wrapped around each other.

Since then we’ve had the most adventurous and passionate sex I’ve ever experienced.

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Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

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Now I can’t stop thinking about having sex with him again. He’s 46 and in really good shape.

I know my husband doesn’t deserve this but I really don’t know if I can go back to boring marital sex ever again.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Stop this affair now before you destroy your marriage and career.

You’ve thrown yourself into work to distract yourself from the fertility challenges you are living through.

And no doubt your affair is part of this escapism.

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Turn your attention to your marriage and instead of running away from your fertility disappointments, you need to work through this challenge and all the options together.

Please contact the Fertility Network UK (0800 008 7464, fertilitynetworkuk.org) who can support you.

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My bitter ex told lies to my friends about my ‘small manhood’ after I dumped her 0 47

DEAR DEIDRE: MY ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger.

She never complained when we were together, but last week she told the girls in our group that being with me was “like kissing a soggy lettuce leaf” and that she “literally didn’t feel a thing when we were having sex” because I’m so small.

My ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger

I’m 25 and she’s 24. I think part of it is jealousy.

She knows a couple of the other girls fancy me and I think she’s trying to sabotage any chance I have with them.

Not that I’m even planning anything.

She’s so insecure and has a vicious tongue on her.

I’m tempted to let each of her so-called friends know what she really says about them in private.

Even her best friend gets a nasty critique every time she posts anything on Instagram.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Her top is either too short, or her hair looks like wire, or her laugh is fake . . . it goes on and on.

I don’t regret splitting up with her but this last trick has really infuriated me.

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DEAR DEIDRE

I caught my husband snogging my sister – how am I meant to trust him again?

DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t let yourself stoop to her level.

You can make it clear she is lying without playing her game, which would only escalate tensions and reflect badly on you.

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You could maybe reply with: “Let’s just say she never complained when we were together and nor have any of my other exes.”

Your friends will soon see her behaviour for what it is – jealous insecurity.

My partner said he was on a work trip – but he was actually getting married and on his honeymoon 0 30

DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner said he was on a work trip two months ago, but he had actually got married and been on honeymoon.

Our relationship had become a bit predictable, but we still had regular sex and nice days out with our two young sons.

My partner lied about his work trip – he was really on his HONEYMOON

I’m 32 and he’s 37. Our sons are four and two.

When he returned from his “work trip” he blamed me for his cheating, saying I had let myself go and didn’t pay him enough attention.

He then told me he’d “traded up” for a better model. It didn’t stop there.

He said that his wife, who is 27, is absolutely stunning and makes him feel special.

Apparently this woman was a barmaid he’d met on a golf trip and they had been seeing each other for six months.

He told me all this, then marched upstairs and packed his games console and his clothes and drove off out of my life.

The thing is, we always talked about getting married but when we had kids there always seemed something better to spend our money on.

Mutual friends have told me he has moved into a new-build home on the other side of our small town and his wife has plenty of family money.

My sons are really missing him and I don’t even know how I feel.

Sometimes when he comes to visit the boys I beg him to come home.

But other times I’m so angry with him, I refuse to let him in.

Now he is accusing me of stopping him from seeing his children.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Surely he can’t just show up when he likes?

I’m a mess and need to start getting a grip for the kids’ sake.

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My neighbour borrowed my shed and refused to pay me for it

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DEAR DEIDRE

I caught my husband snogging my sister – how am I meant to trust him again?

DEIDRE SAYS: I’m so sorry your partner ended your relationship in such a cruel way.

This man sounds selfish and immature, and quite frankly the way he has treated you is emotionally abusive.

It won’t feel like it now, but you really are better off without him.

He is behaving like he still lives in your home, by just turning up unannounced.

Tell him firmly that you would encourage a good relationship between him and your sons but he can only collect them with prior arrangement.

Start to put down your boundaries.

I’m sending you my support pack When Parents Fall Out, which you could pass to him to help explain why you need to co-operate for the future wellbeing of your children.

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Give yourself time and be kind to yourself. He put you down constantly, now you can start to build up your confidence.

I’d recommend seeing a counsellor to help you with this betrayal and am sending you my Counselling support pack.

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