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I’m a dating expert – here’s why so many Brits misbehave on their stag and hen dos and 6 ways to stop it happening 0 125

Stanley Myrick

FIRST it was Andy Carroll caught in bed with a woman on his stag do, and now Joe Swash has caused a kerfuffle after being spotted chatting to a mystery blonde on his boozy weekend away in Ibiza.

But they’re not the only Brits whose antics have raised eyebrows at the bachelor or bachelorette party.

Andy Carroll was pictured in bed with a blonde on his stag do Instagram/Rob BeckettJoe Swash was also seen cosying up to a blonde on his boozy stag do in Ibiza[/caption]

While neither Joe – engaged to Stacey Solomon – or footballer Andy cheated, a whopping third of Brits admitted in a recent survey they did while enjoying their last blast of “freedom” before marriage.

And, an incredible 92 percent of those quizzed said they would never ever tell their other half about their infidelity.

Two thirds of the cheaters surveyed said they are still worried that their husband or wives would eventually find out about their sordid antics through family and friends who attended their stag and hen do.

Of course the best way to keep a clear conscience is to not do it at all.

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Sexpert Kate Taylor reckons the way stag and hen dos are presented on TV and in films like Bridesmaids and The Hangover don’t help.

“Bachelor and bachelorette parties have developed a reputation as being the last time you’re allowed any freedom,” she tells The Sun.

“TV and movies portray these events as being wild orgies of indulgence. 

“The reality is usually just a group of lads roaming the streets with a can of lager, but stag and hen dos still have a sexy air of hedonism.

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“Alcohol definitely revs things up by increasing self-confidence and making people much more inclined to take risks.”

Here Kate reveals how you can stop it from happening to you.

Set boundaries

GettyKate Taylor says you should set boundaries before the hen do[/caption]

Before your partner goes on a stag or hen do, be clear on what counts as cheating.

Are you OK with flirting but not kissing? OK with them going to a strip club, but not with them having a lap dance? State your boundaries.

It might not inspire your partner to spend the weekend alone gazing at your photo, but it won’t let them assume you’re “cool” about them doing whatever they want.

Don’t be possessive

If one third of people cheat on a stag or hen do, it means two thirds don’t.

The likelihood is that your partner will return home as pure and innocent as they left.

Texting and calling them 24/7 won’t stop them cheating.

If you feel the need to remind your partner that you exist, then your self-esteem – or your relationship – needs help.

Do stay in touch, though

Send a few saucy texts – nothing emotional, clingy or vaguely threatening, just sexy little messages that make them smile.

Remember the messages are reasonably likely to be seen by everyone on the minibus, so I’d avoid full-on nude photos!

Don’t let them believe the stag or hen do is their last chance to have any freedom.

Make them feel the REAL fun will begin when they’re back home.

Drop tantalising hints about doing something wild when you’re back together but deliberately keep it vague so their imagination goes into overdrive.

Have fun sex before

The night before they’re due to leave, enjoy crazy, wild sex together.

Not only will it create a happy memory to distract them during their lap-dance, but it’ll increase their levels of the bonding hormone oxytocin, emotionally attaching the two of you.

You want them to go on the stag or hen do feeling satisfied and calm, not like a dieting vegan let loose in McDonalds!

This is the perfect time to do that complicated position you’ve been scared to try.

Don’t obsess over Instagram

GettyKate recommends not obsessing over social media while they’re away[/caption]

If they cheat, you’ll find out.

You don’t need to turn into Inspector Poirot, poring over all the Instagram photos with an eyeglass and a wall of suspects.

Stay calm and distract yourself with something fun.

Even the most loyal partner will become rebellious if they feel they’re under 24/7 surveillance.

Don’t be bride-or-groomzilla

People cheat for lots of reasons, but escaping stress is a BIG one.

Be honest: has planning the wedding turned into a battleground?

Are you bickering about buttonholes, or coming to blows about canapés?

If things have got tense, relax with more physical touch.

Hugs, cuddles and snogging all lower your levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) and decrease your blood pressure.

Send a family member

Kate warns that cheating can sometimes be encouraged by the friends – especially the single ones, who haven’t settled down yet.

She says: “There is a camaraderie on these stag or hen events that promises to keep any cheating a secret.

“Some people feel threatened when their friend gets engaged, so they’re secretly keen to sabotage the relationship, or to recreate the (in their mind, happier) time when everyone was single.

“Also, people who have been having doubts about their relationship often use cheating on a stag or hen do as an excuse to finish things.”

If you really can’t trust your partner to go 48 hours without copping off with a passer-by, get one of your friends or family invited along to the party.

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Nothing will pour cold water on a cheat’s libido faster than looking up to see your brother/sister/best mate glaring at them.

If you really can’t trust your partner, I’d suggest breaking things off altogether. Other, nicer, partners are available.

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