I don’t trust myself to be alone with my new colleague as he’s so hot 0 41

DEAR DEIDRE: OUR new warehouse manager is so hot that I’m scared I won’t be able to control myself when we are alone together next week.

The problem is, I’m a respectable woman of 41.

The devil on one shoulder can’t wait to spend time alone with him

I’ve been married almost 19 years and I feel like I’ve got a schoolgirl crush on this guy.

My husband is 45 and he’s lovely but very conventional.

He’s a tax adviser and very set in his ways. He doesn’t like eating out and takes the same sandwiches (cheese and pickle or egg mayonnaise) to work, day in, day out.

We only ever go hiking in Scotland for holidays and he won’t hear of us going abroad.

We have vanilla sex, Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights.

I’ve tried to change things, dress up for him, give him the come-on but he never takes the bait.

I work in an office for an online clothing company.

We were getting so busy that our warehouse team was struggling to cope, so our boss took on a new guy. He’s 37, single and he’s gorgeous.

He splits his time between organising the staff in the warehouse and sitting opposite me in the office. I can’t stop looking at him.

I have been more than keen to show him the various office systems and where to get the best coffee. I think he likes me too.

I’m now selective about what clothes I wear, I’ve bought some new perfume and I’m having my nails done.

I long for him to kiss me.

I had sex with my husband twice last week as usual, and I closed my eyes imagining it’s my sexy new colleague making love to me.

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Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

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We are working late together all of next week.

The devil on one shoulder can’t wait to spend time alone with him, but the angel on the other shoulder tells me it’s time to find a new job.

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DEIDRE SAYS: If he likes you, it won’t take much to initiate an affair which could jeopardise your marriage and compromise your job.

This guy may seem to offer a bit of excitement compared with your husband’s predictable behaviour but a fling will complicate your life and someone will get hurt.

We can all still fancy people when we’re married or in long-term relationships but it’s whether we act on those feelings that counts.

If you want things to improve at home, tell your husband your relationship is lacking some va va voom.

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Insist that you’re going to book that holiday abroad, you’re going to have some date nights together, then it’s back home for a night of proper passion.

You may just bring out his fun side.

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My bitter ex told lies to my friends about my ‘small manhood’ after I dumped her 0 40

DEAR DEIDRE: MY ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger.

She never complained when we were together, but last week she told the girls in our group that being with me was “like kissing a soggy lettuce leaf” and that she “literally didn’t feel a thing when we were having sex” because I’m so small.

My ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger

I’m 25 and she’s 24. I think part of it is jealousy.

She knows a couple of the other girls fancy me and I think she’s trying to sabotage any chance I have with them.

Not that I’m even planning anything.

She’s so insecure and has a vicious tongue on her.

I’m tempted to let each of her so-called friends know what she really says about them in private.

Even her best friend gets a nasty critique every time she posts anything on Instagram.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Her top is either too short, or her hair looks like wire, or her laugh is fake . . . it goes on and on.

I don’t regret splitting up with her but this last trick has really infuriated me.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t let yourself stoop to her level.

You can make it clear she is lying without playing her game, which would only escalate tensions and reflect badly on you.

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You could maybe reply with: “Let’s just say she never complained when we were together and nor have any of my other exes.”

Your friends will soon see her behaviour for what it is – jealous insecurity.

My partner said he was on a work trip – but he was actually getting married and on his honeymoon 0 28

DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner said he was on a work trip two months ago, but he had actually got married and been on honeymoon.

Our relationship had become a bit predictable, but we still had regular sex and nice days out with our two young sons.

My partner lied about his work trip – he was really on his HONEYMOON

I’m 32 and he’s 37. Our sons are four and two.

When he returned from his “work trip” he blamed me for his cheating, saying I had let myself go and didn’t pay him enough attention.

He then told me he’d “traded up” for a better model. It didn’t stop there.

He said that his wife, who is 27, is absolutely stunning and makes him feel special.

Apparently this woman was a barmaid he’d met on a golf trip and they had been seeing each other for six months.

He told me all this, then marched upstairs and packed his games console and his clothes and drove off out of my life.

The thing is, we always talked about getting married but when we had kids there always seemed something better to spend our money on.

Mutual friends have told me he has moved into a new-build home on the other side of our small town and his wife has plenty of family money.

My sons are really missing him and I don’t even know how I feel.

Sometimes when he comes to visit the boys I beg him to come home.

But other times I’m so angry with him, I refuse to let him in.

Now he is accusing me of stopping him from seeing his children.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Surely he can’t just show up when he likes?

I’m a mess and need to start getting a grip for the kids’ sake.

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DEIDRE SAYS: I’m so sorry your partner ended your relationship in such a cruel way.

This man sounds selfish and immature, and quite frankly the way he has treated you is emotionally abusive.

It won’t feel like it now, but you really are better off without him.

He is behaving like he still lives in your home, by just turning up unannounced.

Tell him firmly that you would encourage a good relationship between him and your sons but he can only collect them with prior arrangement.

Start to put down your boundaries.

I’m sending you my support pack When Parents Fall Out, which you could pass to him to help explain why you need to co-operate for the future wellbeing of your children.

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Give yourself time and be kind to yourself. He put you down constantly, now you can start to build up your confidence.

I’d recommend seeing a counsellor to help you with this betrayal and am sending you my Counselling support pack.

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