IF your relationship is more dusty than desirable, now is the perfect time to bring back the shine.
Sexpert Alix Fox shares her tips on how to spring your love life into action
ShutterstockSpruce up your sex life with sexpert Alix Fox’s tips[/caption]
FRESHEN UP YOUR KINKY KIT
IF you’re clinging to an old sex toy that didn’t manage to fire you up or still have those handcuffs that keep you shackled to bad memories with an ex, Alix reckons it’s time to get rid.
She says: “Were they the wrong shape? Too loud? Not powerful enough?
“Bear this in mind to help you choose replacements that deliver ‘Big Os’ instead of being big disappointments.”
Check expiry dates on products too.
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Alix says: “Old condoms are more likely to break, while chemicals in some gone-off lubricants can cause itching, burning, allergies or even prompt a nasty infection.
“Chuck out anything that’s changed colour, texture or smell.”
When binning sex toys check whether your local authority has a Waste Electrical and Electronic Equipment (WEEE) recycling scheme via RecycleNow.com.
If you’re stocking up, sex toy sellers Gaia make the world’s first biodegradable toys from cornstarch plastics, from £10 at PlayfulPromises.com.
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SORT OUT YOUR THOUGHTS
GettyTry sort out any tiny gripes with your partner so they don’t ruin any potentially great dates[/caption]
“IN the same way that one black sock can turn a whole white wash a grubby grey, one dark thought about your partner can easily spoil an intimate night,” Alix says.
“If something minor yet aggravating is bugging you about your lover, have a calm conversation and agree a plan together to sort it out then draw a line under it.”
Alix says it’s also easy to cling on to tiny gripes and grumps, especially when you’re tired. She says: “It can be a shame to let these emotional “socks” unnecessarily colour what could have been a great date.
“To stop annoyances going round your head like a tumble drier, ask yourself, ‘Will I still be so upset about this tomorrow, or will I be more upset if I let it ruin tonight?’
“Try visualising yourself putting the ‘sock’ in a mental laundry hamper and shutting the lid.”
DEEP CLEANSE YOUR DIARY
“COUPLES complain that they don’t have enough time to connect, and that they’re too tired to get raunchy,” explains Alix. “Keep a log of what you’re doing throughout each day to identify ‘obstructions’ and ‘opportunities’.
“Obstructions are things that are getting in the way of sexual play – there might be some you can move or remove.
“Is that half-hour spent scrolling mindlessly through social media really better than cuddling with your partner? If you both pitched in to get a household chore done, it could help you feel less tired and more in the mood for sex.
“Opportunities are areas where you could add more enjoyment and intimacy. If the kids have sports practice, turn this time into a chance for a regular daytime date.
“Or try giving each other a massage while you watch this week’s episode of the TV series you love.”
STOP LUST GATHERING DUST
GettyKeep your love live fresh to stop getting things getting rusty and dusty[/caption]
HAVING sex in exactly the same way every time can soon start to feel stale and monotonous for both partners.
Alix believes that spring is the ideal time to spruce things up.
She says: “Challenge yourselves to change just one small thing every time you make love for the next few weeks. If you keep the same position you could see what it’s like with clothes on or off, blindfolded, in a different room or staying quiet with the window open.
“Keeping your love life fresh doesn’t always demand intimidating, extreme adventures. Sometimes subtle shifts are enough to stop things getting rusty and dusty.”
SPRUCE UP YOUR SEX SPACE
GettyMaking minimal changes to your interiors can boost your libido[/caption]
MAKING small changes to bedroom interiors can do wonders for your libido.
Alix says: “Fit dimmable, colour-changing light bulbs to quickly change the atmosphere in your bedroom from sunny to sultry. Flattering low light can help you feel more confident about your body, plus if you can’t see crumbs on the carpet or cobwebs in corners, you’re less likely to be distracted.
“If working from home makes it impossible to keep business out of the bedroom, try draping a sheet over your desk.
“Setting an alarm to ‘shut up shop’ like this at the end of each day can help you to psychologically adjust your mindset from professional mode into off-duty – and get fruity.”
And if you’ve no room to store sexy underwear and toys Alix has a handy tip.
She advises: “Organise toys in hanging plastic pockets in your wardrobe, with a suit cover over the top to hide them from prying eyes.”
MUCK IN MICRO-DATES
GettyHaving micro-dates can do more for your relationship than you might imaigne[/caption]
“MICRO-DATES are mini moments of romance that can rev up a relationship more than you might imagine,” explains Alix.
“Think of them as courtship confetti to sprinkle into your days to keep things feeling passionate, wherever you can. Dance to ‘your song’ in your living room. Meet your partner at the bus stop and walk home together during the last leg of their commute, or shower together.”
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Alix advises that scheduling intimacy is also key. She says: “Scheduling makes it a priority, and something to look forward to, rather than an afterthought that you try to cram in.
“Of course, nobody should feel forced to have sex when ‘Saucy Sunday’ rolls around if they don’t feel like it, but make the effort to keep that agreed time clear to dedicate to shared pleasure.”
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