I’m a sexpert – six easy ways to spruce up your sex life & tips on how to organise your kinky kit for maximum pleasure 0 84

IF your relationship is more dusty than desirable, now is the perfect time to bring back the shine.

Sexpert Alix Fox shares her tips on how to spring your love life into action

ShutterstockSpruce up your sex life with sexpert Alix Fox’s tips[/caption]

FRESHEN UP YOUR KINKY KIT

IF you’re clinging to an old sex toy that didn’t manage to fire you up or still have those handcuffs that keep you shackled to bad memories with an ex, Alix reckons it’s time to get rid.

She says: “Were they the wrong shape? Too loud? Not powerful enough?

“Bear this in mind to help you choose replacements that deliver ‘Big Os’ instead of being big disappointments.”

Check expiry dates on products too.

Read more relationship advice

AIR IT OUT

I’m a relationship expert & there’s 3 reasons you & your partner always argue

INSTANT ICK

I’m a relationship expert & there are 5 things women do that turn guys off

Alix says: “Old condoms are more likely to break, while chemicals in some gone-off lubricants can cause itching, burning, allergies or even prompt a nasty infection.

“Chuck out anything that’s changed colour, texture or smell.”

When binning sex toys check whether your local authority has a Waste Electrical and Electronic Equipment (WEEE) recycling scheme via RecycleNow.com.

If you’re stocking up, sex toy sellers Gaia make the world’s first biodegradable toys from cornstarch plastics, from £10 at PlayfulPromises.com.

Most read in The Sun

CROSSED THE LINE

Our neighbour put an eyesore fence in our garden, it's like a sheep pen

JET HOO-HA

Jet2 flyers cheer as woman who 'slapped passengers' & abused staff is booted off

GLOW GIRL

Paris Fury looks incredible as she shows off her abs 7 months after giving birth

CASH CUTS

Keith Lemon reveals his TV show has been AXED as it was ‘too expensive to make’

TRAGIC TOT

Family of Bella-Rae, 1, killed by 'pit bull' vow 'she'll never be forgotten'

Till talk

I worked at Tesco and there’s a reason we always try to talk to you at the tills

SORT OUT YOUR THOUGHTS

GettyTry sort out any tiny gripes with your partner so they don’t ruin any potentially great dates[/caption]

“IN the same way that one black sock can turn a whole white wash a grubby grey, one dark thought about your partner can easily spoil an intimate night,” Alix says.

“If something minor yet aggravating is bugging you about your lover, have a calm conversation and agree a plan together to sort it out then draw a line under it.”

Alix says it’s also easy to cling on to tiny gripes and grumps, especially when you’re tired. She says: “It can be a shame to let these emotional “socks” unnecessarily colour what could have been a great date.

“To stop annoyances going round your head like a tumble drier, ask yourself, ‘Will I still be so upset about this tomorrow, or will I be more upset if I let it ruin tonight?’

“Try visualising yourself putting the ‘sock’ in a mental laundry hamper and shutting the lid.”

DEEP CLEANSE YOUR DIARY

“COUPLES complain that they don’t have enough time to connect, and that they’re too tired to get raunchy,” explains Alix. “Keep a log of what you’re doing throughout each day to identify ‘obstructions’ and ‘opportunities’.

“Obstructions are things that are getting in the way of sexual play – there might be some you can move or remove.

“Is that half-hour spent scrolling mindlessly through social media really better than cuddling with your partner? If you both pitched in to get a household chore done, it could help you feel less tired and more in the mood for sex.

“Opportunities are areas where you could add more enjoyment and intimacy. If the kids have sports practice, turn this time into a chance for a regular daytime date.

“Or try giving each other a massage while you watch this week’s episode of the TV series you love.”

STOP LUST GATHERING DUST

GettyKeep your love live fresh to stop getting things getting rusty and dusty[/caption]

HAVING sex in exactly the same way every time can soon start to feel stale and monotonous for both partners.

Alix believes that spring is the ideal time to spruce things up.

She says: “Challenge yourselves to change just one small thing every time you make love for the next few weeks. If you keep the same position you could see what it’s like with clothes on or off, blindfolded, in a different room or staying quiet with the window open.

“Keeping your love life fresh doesn’t always demand intimidating, extreme adventures. Sometimes subtle shifts are enough to stop things getting rusty and dusty.”

SPRUCE UP YOUR SEX SPACE

GettyMaking minimal changes to your interiors can boost your libido[/caption]

MAKING small changes to bedroom interiors can do wonders for your libido.

Alix says: “Fit dimmable, colour-changing light bulbs to quickly change the atmosphere in your bedroom from sunny to sultry. Flattering low light can help you feel more confident about your body, plus if you can’t see crumbs on the carpet or cobwebs in corners, you’re less likely to be distracted.

“If working from home makes it impossible to keep business out of the bedroom, try draping a sheet over your desk.

“Setting an alarm to ‘shut up shop’ like this at the end of each day can help you to psychologically adjust your mindset from professional mode into off-duty – and get fruity.”

And if you’ve no room to store sexy underwear and toys Alix has a handy tip.

She advises: “Organise toys in hanging plastic pockets in your wardrobe, with a suit cover over the top to hide them from prying eyes.”

MUCK IN MICRO-DATES

GettyHaving micro-dates can do more for your relationship than you might imaigne[/caption]

“MICRO-DATES are mini moments of romance that can rev up a relationship more than you might imagine,” explains Alix.

“Think of them as courtship confetti to sprinkle into your days to keep things feeling passionate, wherever you can. Dance to ‘your song’ in your living room. Meet your partner at the bus stop and walk home together during the last leg of their commute, or shower together.”

Read More on The Sun

GOLD-PLATED MONSTER

Inside Putin’s £500m superyacht with cinema & GOLD toilet roll holder

he’s no scrumbag

Why Ben Foden will never cheat on me like he did with ex Una Healy

Alix advises that scheduling intimacy is also key. She says: “Scheduling makes it a priority, and something to look forward to, rather than an afterthought that you try to cram in.

“Of course, nobody should feel forced to have sex when ‘Saucy Sunday’ rolls around if they don’t feel like it, but make the effort to keep that agreed time clear to dedicate to shared pleasure.”

We pay for your stories!

Do you have a story for The Sun news desk?

Email us at exclusive@the-sun.co.uk or call 0207 782 4104. You can WhatsApp us on 07423 720 250. We pay for videos too. Click here to upload yours

Click here to get The Sun newspaper delivered for FREE for the next six weeks.

Previous ArticleNext Article

My bitter ex told lies to my friends about my ‘small manhood’ after I dumped her 0 41

DEAR DEIDRE: MY ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger.

She never complained when we were together, but last week she told the girls in our group that being with me was “like kissing a soggy lettuce leaf” and that she “literally didn’t feel a thing when we were having sex” because I’m so small.

My ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger

I’m 25 and she’s 24. I think part of it is jealousy.

She knows a couple of the other girls fancy me and I think she’s trying to sabotage any chance I have with them.

Not that I’m even planning anything.

She’s so insecure and has a vicious tongue on her.

I’m tempted to let each of her so-called friends know what she really says about them in private.

Even her best friend gets a nasty critique every time she posts anything on Instagram.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Her top is either too short, or her hair looks like wire, or her laugh is fake . . . it goes on and on.

I don’t regret splitting up with her but this last trick has really infuriated me.

Most read in Dear Deidre

DEAR DEIDRE

I want to sleep with my hot neighbour, but I'm worried about our age gap

IN DEEP WATER

My wife thinks it's unreasonable to ask her to wash before wild sex

THE BIG ISSUE

My boyfriend's completely gone off sex since I gained weight

BEG, BORROW OR STEAL?

My neighbour borrowed my shed and refused to pay me for it

DEIDRE'S STORIES

Alfie is feeling awkward after dreaming about his mate's hot wife, Sarah

DEAR DEIDRE

I caught my husband snogging my sister – how am I meant to trust him again?

DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t let yourself stoop to her level.

You can make it clear she is lying without playing her game, which would only escalate tensions and reflect badly on you.

MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE

DEIDRE’S STORIES

Maya gets the blame after telling dad about her mum’s secret kiss

HEAR DEIDRE

A new episode of the Dear Deidre podcast is available TODAY

You could maybe reply with: “Let’s just say she never complained when we were together and nor have any of my other exes.”

Your friends will soon see her behaviour for what it is – jealous insecurity.

My partner said he was on a work trip – but he was actually getting married and on his honeymoon 0 28

DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner said he was on a work trip two months ago, but he had actually got married and been on honeymoon.

Our relationship had become a bit predictable, but we still had regular sex and nice days out with our two young sons.

My partner lied about his work trip – he was really on his HONEYMOON

I’m 32 and he’s 37. Our sons are four and two.

When he returned from his “work trip” he blamed me for his cheating, saying I had let myself go and didn’t pay him enough attention.

He then told me he’d “traded up” for a better model. It didn’t stop there.

He said that his wife, who is 27, is absolutely stunning and makes him feel special.

Apparently this woman was a barmaid he’d met on a golf trip and they had been seeing each other for six months.

He told me all this, then marched upstairs and packed his games console and his clothes and drove off out of my life.

The thing is, we always talked about getting married but when we had kids there always seemed something better to spend our money on.

Mutual friends have told me he has moved into a new-build home on the other side of our small town and his wife has plenty of family money.

My sons are really missing him and I don’t even know how I feel.

Sometimes when he comes to visit the boys I beg him to come home.

But other times I’m so angry with him, I refuse to let him in.

Now he is accusing me of stopping him from seeing his children.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Surely he can’t just show up when he likes?

I’m a mess and need to start getting a grip for the kids’ sake.

Most read in Dear Deidre

DEAR DEIDRE

I want to sleep with my hot neighbour, but I'm worried about our age gap

IN DEEP WATER

My wife thinks it's unreasonable to ask her to wash before wild sex

THE BIG ISSUE

My boyfriend's completely gone off sex since I gained weight

BEG, BORROW OR STEAL?

My neighbour borrowed my shed and refused to pay me for it

DEIDRE'S STORIES

Alfie is feeling awkward after dreaming about his mate's hot wife, Sarah

DEAR DEIDRE

I caught my husband snogging my sister – how am I meant to trust him again?

DEIDRE SAYS: I’m so sorry your partner ended your relationship in such a cruel way.

This man sounds selfish and immature, and quite frankly the way he has treated you is emotionally abusive.

It won’t feel like it now, but you really are better off without him.

He is behaving like he still lives in your home, by just turning up unannounced.

Tell him firmly that you would encourage a good relationship between him and your sons but he can only collect them with prior arrangement.

Start to put down your boundaries.

I’m sending you my support pack When Parents Fall Out, which you could pass to him to help explain why you need to co-operate for the future wellbeing of your children.

MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE

DEIDRE’S STORIES

Maya gets the blame after telling dad about her mum’s secret kiss

HEAR DEIDRE

A new episode of the Dear Deidre podcast is available TODAY

Give yourself time and be kind to yourself. He put you down constantly, now you can start to build up your confidence.

I’d recommend seeing a counsellor to help you with this betrayal and am sending you my Counselling support pack.

Most Popular Topics

Editor Picks