What is ‘unicorn hunting’? The new couples trend that doesn’t always end well 0 93

NOT just a fictional plotline from a fantasy novel, the real trend unicorn hunting targets bisexual women. 

The idea is to find a woman willing to join your couple in order to form a throuple.

Getty – Contributor ‘Unicorn hunting’ is where a heterosexual couple seek a bisexual woman to join their relationship[/caption]

What is unicorn hunting?

Unicorn hunting is where a male/female couple look to find one person who they can permanently invite into their relationship.

They form a “triad” with the couple and the three people have group sex.

But the couple aren’t looking to have a threesome with just anyone.

People who go unicorn hunting are specifically looking for a bisexual woman.

Most of the time this woman must be assigned-female-at-birth and single as well as being attracted to both partners equally.

Generally, unicorn hunter is used as a somewhat derogatory term for a straight-presenting couple looking to spice things up.

It is not seen as a valid form of polyamory by many members of the LGBTQ+ community and contributes to the fetishisation of bisexual women.

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Is unicorn hunting dangerous?

The number of straight couples only looking to find a unicorn has reached such high numbers that many polyamorous people see it as a cliche.

Women in the LGBTQ+ community often complain that dating apps are full of couples looking for a third.

The couple expect their unicorn to be both sexually and romantically exclusive, rather than polyamorous with other people.

They also demand that a unicorn is attracted to them both equally and interested in only having group sex.

But the couple are not looking to bring her fully into their relationship, the dynamic remains divided between the original couple and their unicorn unless engaging in sex.

In fact, their aim is to not let the “unicorn” come between them.

Finding someone who meets all the criteria is as hard as you might imagine – hence the naming of the phenomenon after the elusive mythical creature.

But even if they succeed, it’s not always happily ever after..

An anonymous polyamorous man told Business Insider that he has never known a straight couple, searching for a bisexual woman, to have worked out.

The addition of a third person can put enormous strain on a relationship, sometimes causing the couple to break up.

Worse still, many people in the polyamorous community think that “unicorn hunting” is just a way for a man in a relationship to sleep with other women, safe in the knowledge that their partner is not sleeping with other men.

How do you spot a unicorn hunter?

It is not always easy to tell if a couple is searching for a unicorn.

With dating apps, especially Tinder, the couple will often use the woman’s profile in their hunt.

These profiles are filled with predominantly photos of the woman in the couple, with limited photos of her partner.

Many bisexual and other LGBTQ+ women see this as deceptive.

Honest profiles will have phrases like “M+F”, “couple looking for a third” or others to indicate that they are looking for a unicorn.

 

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My bitter ex told lies to my friends about my ‘small manhood’ after I dumped her 0 40

DEAR DEIDRE: MY ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger.

She never complained when we were together, but last week she told the girls in our group that being with me was “like kissing a soggy lettuce leaf” and that she “literally didn’t feel a thing when we were having sex” because I’m so small.

My ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger

I’m 25 and she’s 24. I think part of it is jealousy.

She knows a couple of the other girls fancy me and I think she’s trying to sabotage any chance I have with them.

Not that I’m even planning anything.

She’s so insecure and has a vicious tongue on her.

I’m tempted to let each of her so-called friends know what she really says about them in private.

Even her best friend gets a nasty critique every time she posts anything on Instagram.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Her top is either too short, or her hair looks like wire, or her laugh is fake . . . it goes on and on.

I don’t regret splitting up with her but this last trick has really infuriated me.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t let yourself stoop to her level.

You can make it clear she is lying without playing her game, which would only escalate tensions and reflect badly on you.

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You could maybe reply with: “Let’s just say she never complained when we were together and nor have any of my other exes.”

Your friends will soon see her behaviour for what it is – jealous insecurity.

My partner said he was on a work trip – but he was actually getting married and on his honeymoon 0 28

DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner said he was on a work trip two months ago, but he had actually got married and been on honeymoon.

Our relationship had become a bit predictable, but we still had regular sex and nice days out with our two young sons.

My partner lied about his work trip – he was really on his HONEYMOON

I’m 32 and he’s 37. Our sons are four and two.

When he returned from his “work trip” he blamed me for his cheating, saying I had let myself go and didn’t pay him enough attention.

He then told me he’d “traded up” for a better model. It didn’t stop there.

He said that his wife, who is 27, is absolutely stunning and makes him feel special.

Apparently this woman was a barmaid he’d met on a golf trip and they had been seeing each other for six months.

He told me all this, then marched upstairs and packed his games console and his clothes and drove off out of my life.

The thing is, we always talked about getting married but when we had kids there always seemed something better to spend our money on.

Mutual friends have told me he has moved into a new-build home on the other side of our small town and his wife has plenty of family money.

My sons are really missing him and I don’t even know how I feel.

Sometimes when he comes to visit the boys I beg him to come home.

But other times I’m so angry with him, I refuse to let him in.

Now he is accusing me of stopping him from seeing his children.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Surely he can’t just show up when he likes?

I’m a mess and need to start getting a grip for the kids’ sake.

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DEIDRE SAYS: I’m so sorry your partner ended your relationship in such a cruel way.

This man sounds selfish and immature, and quite frankly the way he has treated you is emotionally abusive.

It won’t feel like it now, but you really are better off without him.

He is behaving like he still lives in your home, by just turning up unannounced.

Tell him firmly that you would encourage a good relationship between him and your sons but he can only collect them with prior arrangement.

Start to put down your boundaries.

I’m sending you my support pack When Parents Fall Out, which you could pass to him to help explain why you need to co-operate for the future wellbeing of your children.

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Give yourself time and be kind to yourself. He put you down constantly, now you can start to build up your confidence.

I’d recommend seeing a counsellor to help you with this betrayal and am sending you my Counselling support pack.

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