OUR sex and relationship columnist Dr Pam Spurr regularly brings you must-know info for the bedroom and beyond. Follow Dr Pam on Twitter @drpamspurr
While many people want to try new things in the bedroom, often they can be afraid to ask. Here’s what men could secretly be after.
Dr Pam Spurr lifts the lid on the little things he wants in the bedroomGetty Images
What do men want to try?
There are plenty of bedroom-beliefs about what men want. Yep, they probably want a good tongue-lashing – I mean “oral” not an argument. But who doesn’t?
And they might want to coax you into anal sex having seen so much of it in porn.
While the porn star says in a fake sexy voice, “Ooh that feels so good!” You’re thinking, “Ouch!”
But there are plenty of fairly “ordinary” things they secretly want too. Many simply won’t ask for these usually because they think it’ll sound silly.
Here are six things he probably really wants you to do…
Secret Sex Desire No. 1
They want you to take the lead. So many men hate initiating sex all the time. They end up feeling they’re pressuring a partner.
They really want you to hint subtly that you’re in the mood. Or not so subtly – grabbing them and saying: I fancy the pants off of you and want you now.
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Secret Sex Desire No. 2
Men love it when you “big them up” in the bedroom.
Yes, they want loads of compliments during the deed! When we always assume it’s women who thrive on compliments.
So tell him how you love it when he flips you over into doggy position. Or when he kisses you passionately. Or when he does a jokey Full Monty strip around the bedroom for you.
Secret Sex Desire No. 3
Respect it if they go silent during sex.
Some men, when concentrating on reaching climax, go quiet. And at this point they probably want you to go silent too.
You see, some need intense concentration just before climax.
It’s a myth they want you hollering, “More, more, more baby!” in their ear at all points during sex.
Secret Sex Desire No. 4
Have fun nicknaming their manhood or them.
Most secretly love it when you give them sexy nicknames for their manhood like “the jackhammer” or call them things like “Captain Stud”.
It plays into how they see themselves sexually – a bit of a sex bomb. And that you see it too.
Secret Sex Desire No. 5
Don’t be direct if they’re not erect.
Lots confide they hate it when you want to have a serious chat (even though you’re trying to be loving!) about them not being able to sustain an erection. Or are unable to get it up in the first place.
They’d much rather keep it chilled at that moment. And talk about it at a later time – not when what they see as “failure” is fresh in their mind.
Secret Sex Desire No. 6
Do consider their anal pleasure. Loads confess they’d secretly love a little “fingertip prostate stimulation” either during foreplay or full sex.
Suggest you can tease his “forbidden” area by slipping a condom on your finger or latex glove on your hand (or even using sturdy cling-film as a barrier).
It’s a complete myth he has gay tendencies if he wants prostate stimulation. It gives men mega-powerful orgasms and straight guys are waking up to this.
Dr Pam Spurr is a Talk Radio cover-presenter.
Follow Dr Pam on twitter @drpamspurr. For more advice visit www.drpam.co.uk