The six things men are desperate for you to do in the bedroom revealed 0 182

OUR sex and relationship columnist Dr Pam Spurr regularly brings you must-know info for the bedroom and beyond. Follow Dr Pam on Twitter @drpamspurr

While many people want to try new things in the bedroom, often they can be afraid to ask. Here’s what men could secretly be after.

Dr Pam Spurr lifts the lid on the little things he wants in the bedroomGetty Images

What do men want to try?

There are plenty of bedroom-beliefs about what men want. Yep, they probably want a good tongue-lashing – I mean “oral” not an argument. But who doesn’t?

And they might want to coax you into anal sex having seen so much of it in porn.

While the porn star says in a fake sexy voice, “Ooh that feels so good!” You’re thinking, “Ouch!”

But there are plenty of fairly “ordinary” things they secretly want too. Many simply won’t ask for these usually because they think it’ll sound silly.

Here are six things he probably really wants you to do…

Secret Sex Desire No. 1

They want you to take the lead. So many men hate initiating sex all the time. They end up feeling they’re pressuring a partner.

They really want you to hint subtly that you’re in the mood. Or not so subtly – grabbing them and saying: I fancy the pants off of you and want you now.

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Secret Sex Desire No. 2

Men love it when you “big them up” in the bedroom.

Yes, they want loads of compliments during the deed! When we always assume it’s women who thrive on compliments.

So tell him how you love it when he flips you over into doggy position. Or when he kisses you passionately. Or when he does a jokey Full Monty strip around the bedroom for you.

Secret Sex Desire No. 3

Respect it if they go silent during sex.

Some men, when concentrating on reaching climax, go quiet. And at this point they probably want you to go silent too.

You see, some need intense concentration just before climax.

It’s a myth they want you hollering, “More, more, more baby!” in their ear at all points during sex.

Secret Sex Desire No. 4

Have fun nicknaming their manhood or them.

Most secretly love it when you give them sexy nicknames for their manhood like “the jackhammer” or call them things like “Captain Stud”.

It plays into how they see themselves sexually – a bit of a sex bomb. And that you see it too.

Secret Sex Desire No. 5

Don’t be direct if they’re not erect.

Lots confide they hate it when you want to have a serious chat (even though you’re trying to be loving!) about them not being able to sustain an erection. Or are unable to get it up in the first place.

They’d much rather keep it chilled at that moment. And talk about it at a later time – not when what they see as “failure” is fresh in their mind.

Secret Sex Desire No. 6

Do consider their anal pleasure. Loads confess they’d secretly love a little “fingertip prostate stimulation” either during foreplay or full sex.

Suggest you can tease his “forbidden” area by slipping a condom on your finger or latex glove on your hand (or even using sturdy cling-film as a barrier).

It’s a complete myth he has gay tendencies if he wants prostate stimulation. It gives men mega-powerful orgasms and straight guys are waking up to this.

Dr Pam Spurr is a Talk Radio cover-presenter.

Follow Dr Pam on twitter @drpamspurr. For more advice visit www.drpam.co.uk

 

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My bitter ex told lies to my friends about my ‘small manhood’ after I dumped her 0 40

DEAR DEIDRE: MY ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger.

She never complained when we were together, but last week she told the girls in our group that being with me was “like kissing a soggy lettuce leaf” and that she “literally didn’t feel a thing when we were having sex” because I’m so small.

My ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger

I’m 25 and she’s 24. I think part of it is jealousy.

She knows a couple of the other girls fancy me and I think she’s trying to sabotage any chance I have with them.

Not that I’m even planning anything.

She’s so insecure and has a vicious tongue on her.

I’m tempted to let each of her so-called friends know what she really says about them in private.

Even her best friend gets a nasty critique every time she posts anything on Instagram.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Her top is either too short, or her hair looks like wire, or her laugh is fake . . . it goes on and on.

I don’t regret splitting up with her but this last trick has really infuriated me.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t let yourself stoop to her level.

You can make it clear she is lying without playing her game, which would only escalate tensions and reflect badly on you.

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You could maybe reply with: “Let’s just say she never complained when we were together and nor have any of my other exes.”

Your friends will soon see her behaviour for what it is – jealous insecurity.

My partner said he was on a work trip – but he was actually getting married and on his honeymoon 0 28

DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner said he was on a work trip two months ago, but he had actually got married and been on honeymoon.

Our relationship had become a bit predictable, but we still had regular sex and nice days out with our two young sons.

My partner lied about his work trip – he was really on his HONEYMOON

I’m 32 and he’s 37. Our sons are four and two.

When he returned from his “work trip” he blamed me for his cheating, saying I had let myself go and didn’t pay him enough attention.

He then told me he’d “traded up” for a better model. It didn’t stop there.

He said that his wife, who is 27, is absolutely stunning and makes him feel special.

Apparently this woman was a barmaid he’d met on a golf trip and they had been seeing each other for six months.

He told me all this, then marched upstairs and packed his games console and his clothes and drove off out of my life.

The thing is, we always talked about getting married but when we had kids there always seemed something better to spend our money on.

Mutual friends have told me he has moved into a new-build home on the other side of our small town and his wife has plenty of family money.

My sons are really missing him and I don’t even know how I feel.

Sometimes when he comes to visit the boys I beg him to come home.

But other times I’m so angry with him, I refuse to let him in.

Now he is accusing me of stopping him from seeing his children.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Surely he can’t just show up when he likes?

I’m a mess and need to start getting a grip for the kids’ sake.

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DEAR DEIDRE

I caught my husband snogging my sister – how am I meant to trust him again?

DEIDRE SAYS: I’m so sorry your partner ended your relationship in such a cruel way.

This man sounds selfish and immature, and quite frankly the way he has treated you is emotionally abusive.

It won’t feel like it now, but you really are better off without him.

He is behaving like he still lives in your home, by just turning up unannounced.

Tell him firmly that you would encourage a good relationship between him and your sons but he can only collect them with prior arrangement.

Start to put down your boundaries.

I’m sending you my support pack When Parents Fall Out, which you could pass to him to help explain why you need to co-operate for the future wellbeing of your children.

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Give yourself time and be kind to yourself. He put you down constantly, now you can start to build up your confidence.

I’d recommend seeing a counsellor to help you with this betrayal and am sending you my Counselling support pack.

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