I’m a sexpert… women make the same crucial mistake with their sex toys & it’s dangerous 0 250

FROM dildos to plugs, sex toys seem pretty straight-forward – just follow the simple instructions and you’re guaranteed a steamy ride.

But, according to an expert, there’s a crucial mistake all women make – and it could be dangerous.

GettyVibrators need taking care of – just like you do[/caption]

Writer and news.com.au columnist Nadia Bokody has been exploring sex and debunking several myths, such as bisexuality, for a while, and over the years has acquired a relatively substantial collection of sex toys.

An expert in the field, she has still made the odd error or two in the journey, one of which she decided to share with her Aussie audience.

”About a year ago now, I made a terrible, terrible mistake,” she wrote for The Daily Telegraph Australia.

In the detailed account of events, she explained how upon leaving her apartment, she had gone through the usual list of to-dos.

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”I closed my apartment’s blinds, double-checked the oven and hair straightener were off, and lovingly placed my favourite vibrator in its charging dock.”

The latter turned out to be a crucial mishap, as back then she ”still wasn’t aware of one of the biggest rules of vibrator ownership”.

This rule, she explained, is to ”never, ever leave a vibe on charge for more than two hours”.

”Though it’s scandalously uncommon knowledge, most sex toys contain lithium-ion batteries – the same kind you’ll find in your laptop – which are sensitive to lengthy charging.

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”Leaving your vibrator plugged in overnight, or for an entire weekend, can create an unstable environment inside the battery, increasing pressure and ultimately putting your vibe at risk of burning out.”

At the very least, Nadia wrote, if your trustworthy friend doesn’t die after an all-nighter session in the charging dock, you will have significantly shortened its lifespan.

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”And here’s something else you probably didn’t know: you should wait till the battery is low, but not dead, before reaching for the charging cable.”

This is because charging a vibrator from 0 per cent can be just as damaging – so it’s worth investing in a toy that has an indicating light to let you know when it’s getting close to running out.

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If you really want to make your favourite friend go the extra mile, Nadia recommended avoiding charging it in a hot room.

”Heat is extremely destructive to lithium-ion batteries, and definitely not your friend when you own a vibrator (it can also degrade the silicone most toys are made out of),” Nadia said.

Save your vibrator’s life – and start reading the manuals.

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My bitter ex told lies to my friends about my ‘small manhood’ after I dumped her 0 47

DEAR DEIDRE: MY ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger.

She never complained when we were together, but last week she told the girls in our group that being with me was “like kissing a soggy lettuce leaf” and that she “literally didn’t feel a thing when we were having sex” because I’m so small.

My ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger

I’m 25 and she’s 24. I think part of it is jealousy.

She knows a couple of the other girls fancy me and I think she’s trying to sabotage any chance I have with them.

Not that I’m even planning anything.

She’s so insecure and has a vicious tongue on her.

I’m tempted to let each of her so-called friends know what she really says about them in private.

Even her best friend gets a nasty critique every time she posts anything on Instagram.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Her top is either too short, or her hair looks like wire, or her laugh is fake . . . it goes on and on.

I don’t regret splitting up with her but this last trick has really infuriated me.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t let yourself stoop to her level.

You can make it clear she is lying without playing her game, which would only escalate tensions and reflect badly on you.

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You could maybe reply with: “Let’s just say she never complained when we were together and nor have any of my other exes.”

Your friends will soon see her behaviour for what it is – jealous insecurity.

My partner said he was on a work trip – but he was actually getting married and on his honeymoon 0 30

DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner said he was on a work trip two months ago, but he had actually got married and been on honeymoon.

Our relationship had become a bit predictable, but we still had regular sex and nice days out with our two young sons.

My partner lied about his work trip – he was really on his HONEYMOON

I’m 32 and he’s 37. Our sons are four and two.

When he returned from his “work trip” he blamed me for his cheating, saying I had let myself go and didn’t pay him enough attention.

He then told me he’d “traded up” for a better model. It didn’t stop there.

He said that his wife, who is 27, is absolutely stunning and makes him feel special.

Apparently this woman was a barmaid he’d met on a golf trip and they had been seeing each other for six months.

He told me all this, then marched upstairs and packed his games console and his clothes and drove off out of my life.

The thing is, we always talked about getting married but when we had kids there always seemed something better to spend our money on.

Mutual friends have told me he has moved into a new-build home on the other side of our small town and his wife has plenty of family money.

My sons are really missing him and I don’t even know how I feel.

Sometimes when he comes to visit the boys I beg him to come home.

But other times I’m so angry with him, I refuse to let him in.

Now he is accusing me of stopping him from seeing his children.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Surely he can’t just show up when he likes?

I’m a mess and need to start getting a grip for the kids’ sake.

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DEIDRE SAYS: I’m so sorry your partner ended your relationship in such a cruel way.

This man sounds selfish and immature, and quite frankly the way he has treated you is emotionally abusive.

It won’t feel like it now, but you really are better off without him.

He is behaving like he still lives in your home, by just turning up unannounced.

Tell him firmly that you would encourage a good relationship between him and your sons but he can only collect them with prior arrangement.

Start to put down your boundaries.

I’m sending you my support pack When Parents Fall Out, which you could pass to him to help explain why you need to co-operate for the future wellbeing of your children.

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Give yourself time and be kind to yourself. He put you down constantly, now you can start to build up your confidence.

I’d recommend seeing a counsellor to help you with this betrayal and am sending you my Counselling support pack.

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