You won’t believe what your sex fantasy really means – from sleeping with a colleague to doing it outside 0 281

WHAT do you lie back and think of?

According to a recent survey, during sex a whopping 40 per cent of men are most likely to fantasise about sleeping with a colleague, while a quarter of women dream about getting dirty . . . with household chores.

GettyWe decode your deepest desires[/caption]

But what do our thoughts during the height of passion really mean?

Here, leading sexpert KATE TAYLOR decodes our deepest desires.

You’re an adrenaline junkie

BDSM activities such as spanking and bondage go way beyond power-play.

A 2014 study found being dominated in bed affects blood flow to the brain and releases powerful endorphins that create an “altered state” of consciousness, similar to a runner’s high.

You’re likely to be a thrill-seeker in all areas of your life, and you seek out new experiences. A tendency to get bored easily can draw people to dominant partners.

You want to boss the boardroom

A STUDY revealed that the number of men and women who fantasise about dominating a partner is broadly equal, with 59 per cent of men and 46 per cent of women dreaming of taking the reins (or the whip!).

You’re likely to be interested in control in all areas of your life — and you’ll like Succession on TV.

You know how to fake it

GettyIf you daydream about chores then you’ve either binge-watched too much Mrs Hinch or you are finding sex dull[/caption]

IF your mind wanders to the cleaning cupboard while your partner is giving you their all, you’ve either binge-watched too much Mrs Hinch or you are finding sex dull.

It may not be your lover’s fault. It could be you’ve never revealed what you really want, so sex has become something you do for them.

Most read in Fabulous


I asked for a moon tattoo…it's so bad people think it's a bowl of soup


I ordered huge bean bags from TikTok but what arrived was NOTHING like the ad


Schoolgirl’s letter from 1969 made spookily accurate predictions about the future


Cleaning fan reveals the correct way you should be using a toilet rim block


I'm a cleaning expert – the common mistakes you & Mrs Hinch are making


I was about to meet my Bumble date when he sent me shocking text meant for his pal

You might even have resigned yourself to faking it — a 2019 study found shy women would rather fake orgasms than open up about their real desires in the bedroom.

You spend too much time on Zoom

HAVING sexy thoughts about a colleague is normal — especially if you’ve been working too hard.

Spending 40-plus hours a week with anyone can leave you either liking them or hating them. Either way, you’re thinking about them.

Research discovered the more often you look at a face, the more attractive you’ll find it. So if you’re falling for a colleague, consider swapping face-to-face meetings or Zoom chats for old-fashioned phone calls.

You miss your youth

WHEN you find yourself taking a steamy stroll down memory lane, you are probably not actually missing your ex. It’s more likely you are feeling wistful about a certain period of your life.

For example, if you fantasise about your most recent ex, you might be feeling vulnerable about dating and missing security. If your mind drifts back to your very first love, you could be feeling nostalgic about your youth and younger self.

Take these fantasies as a sign you are not totally happy with your current situation and shake things up.

You’re a good laugh

GettyIf you’re fantasising about having sex with multiple people at once, say in an orgy, chances are you’re highly extroverted[/caption]

IF you are fantasising about having sex with multiple people at different times, it might be you’re looking for validation or confirmation of your self-worth from an outside source.

But if you’re fantasising about having sex with multiple people at once, say in an orgy, chances are you’re highly extroverted. Other signs will be that you’re talkative and have a good sense of humour.

You need to take sex into your own hands (literally)

ACCORDING to social psychologists, same-sex fantasies are much more common in women than men.

But whether you’re a guy or a girl, they can signify that you haven’t embraced your own sexuality yet.

A same-sex stand-in represents you and all your sexiness, and is an imaginary way to explore yourself.

The takeaway? See this fantasy as a sign that you need to celebrate your body, desires and sex drive. Try a weekend of “self care”.

You worry too much about what other people think

FRUSTRATIONS you feel in everyday life can often show up in your naughty daydreams.

So when you fantasise about indulging in full view of the world, it’s a clue you’ve been spending too much time worrying about what people think of you.

The flip side of this fantasy is voyeurism — watching someone else without their knowledge. A study found 54 per cent of men fantasise about watching someone in secret. That can reveal a need for power.

You’re a people pleaser

GettyYou’re most likely to dream of sex with a stranger if you are a people-pleaser who puts a partner’s needs first[/caption]

SEX with a stranger can help a person focus on experimentation. It can take away feelings of inhibition, allowing you to play out your desires without judgment.

You’re most likely to dream of sex with a stranger if you are a people-pleaser who puts a partner’s needs first. It might be your wake-up call that you need to be more selfish between the sheets.

You have a fear of abandonment

THE more perfect your sexual fantasies, the more of a worrier you might be in your relationship. A research study tracked 48 couples’ sexual fantasies over three weeks.

It found that participants with an anxious attachment style — meaning they felt fearful when in a relationship — tended to fantasise mostly about sexual encounters that included plenty of perfection and intimacy, especially if the relationship was tense or they had argued

Previous ArticleNext Article

Porn and Mental Health: The Challenges and Strategies for Coping in the Industry 0 178

Pornography is a billion-dollar industry that has gained widespread popularity across the globe. However, while it may be a source of entertainment for some, the industry can be challenging for performers’ mental health. The pressure to perform and meet the expectations of producers and viewers can take a toll on performers’ mental wellbeing. In this article, we’ll explore the challenges that the porn industry poses to mental health and strategies for coping with them.

The Challenges

  1. Stigma and Shame

The porn industry is still stigmatized, and performers can face a lot of shame and judgment from society. This can lead to a lot of stress and anxiety, making it difficult for performers to seek help and support when needed.

  1. Pressure to Perform

Performers in the porn industry are expected to meet certain expectations and perform at their best every time. This pressure can be overwhelming and can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem.

  1. Isolation and Loneliness

Performing in the porn industry can be a lonely experience, with performers spending long hours on set or on their own, away from friends and family. This can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness, which can take a toll on mental health.

  1. Trauma and Abuse

The porn industry is not immune to issues such as sexual harassment, assault, and exploitation. Performers may experience these traumatic events, leading to conditions such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and depression.

Strategies for Coping

Seek Professional Help

Performers in the porn industry should seek professional help and support when they need it. There are many therapists and counselors who specialize in working with performers in the industry and can help with issues such as anxiety, depression, and trauma.

Practice Self-Care

Self-care is crucial for performers in the porn industry. Taking breaks when needed, exercising, and practicing mindfulness and meditation can help performers manage stress and promote mental wellbeing.

Surround Yourself with Supportive People

Having a supportive network of friends, family, and colleagues can make a big difference in performers’ mental health. Surrounding yourself with people who understand the challenges of the industry and offer non-judgmental support can help performers cope with the stresses of the job.

Address Trauma and Abuse

Performers who have experienced trauma and abuse in the industry should seek support and address these issues head-on. This may involve therapy, reporting incidents to the authorities, and taking legal action if necessary.


The porn industry poses significant challenges to performers’ mental health, from stigma and shame to pressure to perform and trauma and abuse. However, with the right strategies, performers can cope with these challenges and maintain good mental wellbeing. Seeking professional help, practicing self-care, surrounding yourself with supportive people, and addressing trauma and abuse are just a few strategies that can help performers in the porn industry maintain good mental health.

Navigating Consent and Boundaries in the Porn Industry: A Guide for Newcomers 0 165

Consent and boundaries are crucial aspects of the porn industry, and it’s essential for newcomers to understand how to navigate these issues. In this article, we’ll provide a guide for those who are new to the industry on how to approach consent and boundaries in a professional and respectful manner.

First and foremost, it’s important to understand that consent is always required in the porn industry. This means that every actor must give explicit and enthusiastic consent to any sexual act that is portrayed on camera. Consent can be given verbally or non-verbally, but it must always be clear and enthusiastic.

In order to ensure that consent is obtained, communication is key. Actors should have open and honest conversations with their scene partners and the director prior to filming. They should discuss what they are comfortable with and what their boundaries are, as well as any specific instructions or concerns.

It’s also important for actors to feel empowered to set their own boundaries and to speak up if they feel uncomfortable or unsafe during filming. This means that if an actor does not want to perform a particular act or if they feel that their boundaries are being pushed, they have the right to stop the scene and speak to the director about their concerns.

It’s also essential for actors to be aware of their own physical and emotional limits. This means that they should take breaks as needed, communicate with their scene partner and director about any discomfort or pain, and engage in self-care practices to ensure that they are physically and emotionally prepared for the demands of the job.

Finally, it’s important for actors to have a support system in place. This can include talking to other actors who have experience in the industry, seeking out counseling or therapy, and having trusted friends and family members who can provide emotional support.

Navigating consent and boundaries in the porn industry can be challenging, but it’s an essential part of maintaining a safe and respectful work environment. By following these guidelines, newcomers to the industry can ensure that they are approaching these issues in a professional and responsible manner.

Most Popular Topics

Editor Picks