
SOCIETY has such a weird relationship with women who are openly sexual.
There’s one rule for men, who are celebrated for being a “lad”, but if a woman says she enjoys sex, even if it’s with her partner, it’s shameful.
Megan says: ‘I remember after my first time having sex, when I was 17, I was like: What on earth was that? because in movies women are screaming and having the best time’ Megan says: ‘As Brits we’re so prudish and awkward, but my mum has always been open, so I’ve always told her most things’
Although I think it’s slowly getting better, it’s still so backwards.
My passion for talking about sex stems from something that happened at school.
When I was in year eight, an older boy in year 11 asked me to send him an explicit video, and I wouldn’t.
He said: “I bet you haven’t even masturbated, you’re so young,” and I replied: “Yes I have.”
For the rest of my school life, I had older kids bullying me, because this boy spread rumours that I was “the girl who fingers herself”.
I carried that slut-shaming around for years.
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I couldn’t tell my mum, because back then I hadn’t heard of anybody who spoke about pleasuring themselves.
Since then I’ve had therapy on and off and that helped me deal with it, but then when I finished series four of Love Island in 2018, I faced more slut-shaming because of my career – the fact that I had worked in the sex industry as a dancer since the age of 20.
Old-fashioned people might think it’s sleazy, but I think it’s one of the bravest things you can do, because people are so judgemental still.
I also got a lot of hate and trolling for the fact that I slept with two boys on the show [Wes Nelson and Eyal Booker], but so many male contestants have done the same, if not slept with more girls in that eight-week period!
That brought up all my old feelings of shame again.
I was so confused, because my social circle before Love Island was all dancers and glamour models – and it was normal for us to discuss sex and women pleasuring themselves.
After that, I thought: “I need to speak out,” and my podcast You Come First, about prioritising ourselves in relationships and sex, snowballed from there.
When you’re at school you get taught about your period, and how not to get pregnant or catch STIs, but you don’t ever get taught about women’s pleasure, and I think it’s so important for girls to know their own body before they become sexually active with a partner.
I remember after my first time having sex, when I was 17, I was like: “What on earth was that?” because in movies women are screaming and having the best time.
I think you’ve just got to be in tune with yourself and be able to communicate with your partner.
I remember after my first time having sex, when I was 17, I was like: ‘What on earth was that?’ because in movies women are screaming and having the best time.
Megan Barton-Hanson
I don’t say: “You’re awful,” I’ll just softly hint. But also, as I’ve got older, it’s become much deeper, and I can only have great sex with someone if I’ve got a really good mental connection with them.
Older generations have really shied away from talking about sex.
As Brits we’re so prudish and awkward, but my mum has always been open, so I’ve always told her most things.
I think she’s just proud and supportive of me because her friends and their daughters say that it’s amazing that I speak out about things.
Now my Instagram DMs are filled with so many men and women of all different ages asking me for advice – from people who are coming out, to women who are just divorced and want to explore their sexuality.
Sometimes I think if only there had been someone like me or [model] Amber Rose [who regularly shares details of her sex life] or Lily Allen – who’s brought out a sex toy – when I was growing up, it would have taken the edge off the bullying.
But all of those years have motivated me to use my platform for good, rather than just promoting teeth whitening and hair extensions.
I’m single and living my best life, but I’m definitely open if someone comes along and brings something to the table.
For now, I’m going to focus on travelling and being the best version of myself.
- Watch Megan on Ex On The Beach, Tuesday, 10pm, MTV.
InstagramMegan says: ‘I’m single and living my best life, but I’m definitely open if someone comes along and brings something to the table’[/caption]
InstagramMegan says: ‘Older generations have really shied away from talking about sex’[/caption]