I’ve been trolled for my sex life & s**t-shamed since school but I’ll never stop being open, says Megan Barton-Hanson 0 101

SOCIETY has such a weird relationship with women who are openly sexual.

There’s one rule for men, who are celebrated for being a “lad”, but if a woman says she enjoys sex, even if it’s with her partner, it’s shameful.

Megan says: ‘I remember after my first time having sex, when I was 17, I was like: What on earth was that? because in movies women are screaming and having the best time’ Megan says: ‘As Brits we’re so prudish and awkward, but my mum has always been open, so I’ve always told her most things’

Although I think it’s slowly getting better, it’s still so backwards.

My passion for talking about sex stems from something that happened at school.

When I was in year eight, an older boy in year 11 asked me to send him an explicit video, and I wouldn’t.

He said: “I bet you haven’t even masturbated, you’re so young,” and I replied: “Yes I have.”

For the rest of my school life, I had older kids bullying me, because this boy spread rumours that I was “the girl who fingers herself”.

I carried that slut-shaming around for years. 

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I couldn’t tell my mum, because back then I hadn’t heard of anybody who spoke about pleasuring themselves. 

Since then I’ve had therapy on and off and that helped me deal with it, but then when I finished series four of Love Island in 2018, I faced more slut-shaming because of my career – the fact that I had worked in the sex industry as a dancer since the age of 20.

Old-fashioned people might think it’s sleazy, but I think it’s one of the bravest things you can do, because people are so judgemental still. 

I also got a lot of hate and trolling for the fact that I slept with two boys on the show [Wes Nelson and Eyal Booker], but so many male contestants have done the same, if not slept with more girls in that eight-week period!

That brought up all my old feelings of shame again.

I was so confused, because my social circle before Love Island was all dancers and glamour models – and it was normal for us to discuss sex and women pleasuring themselves.

After that, I thought: “I need to speak out,” and my podcast You Come First, about prioritising ourselves in relationships and sex, snowballed from there. 

When you’re at school you get taught about your period, and how not to get pregnant or catch STIs, but you don’t ever get taught about women’s pleasure, and I think it’s so important for girls to know their own body before they become sexually active with a partner.

I remember after my first time having sex, when I was 17, I was like: “What on earth was that?” because in movies women are screaming and having the best time.

I think you’ve just got to be in tune with yourself and be able to communicate with your partner.

I remember after my first time having sex, when I was 17, I was like: ‘What on earth was that?’ because in movies women are screaming and having the best time.

Megan Barton-Hanson

I don’t say: “You’re awful,” I’ll just softly hint. But also, as I’ve got older, it’s become much deeper, and I can only have great sex with someone if I’ve got a really good mental connection with them. 

Older generations have really shied away from talking about sex.

As Brits we’re so prudish and awkward, but my mum has always been open, so I’ve always told her most things.

I think she’s just proud and supportive of me because her friends and their daughters say that it’s amazing that I speak out about things.

Now my Instagram DMs are filled with so many men and women of all different ages asking me for advice – from people who are coming out, to women who are just divorced and want to explore their sexuality.

Sometimes I think if only there had been someone like me or [model] Amber Rose [who regularly shares details of her sex life] or Lily Allen – who’s brought out a sex toy – when I was growing up, it would have taken the edge off the bullying.

But all of those years have motivated me to use my platform for good, rather than just promoting teeth whitening and hair extensions.

I’m single and living my best life, but I’m definitely open if someone comes along and brings something to the table.

For now, I’m going to focus on travelling and being the best version of myself. 

  • Watch Megan on Ex On The Beach, Tuesday, 10pm, MTV. 

InstagramMegan says: ‘I’m single and living my best life, but I’m definitely open if someone comes along and brings something to the table’[/caption] InstagramMegan says: ‘Older generations have really shied away from talking about sex’[/caption]

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My bitter ex told lies to my friends about my ‘small manhood’ after I dumped her 0 40

DEAR DEIDRE: MY ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger.

She never complained when we were together, but last week she told the girls in our group that being with me was “like kissing a soggy lettuce leaf” and that she “literally didn’t feel a thing when we were having sex” because I’m so small.

My ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger

I’m 25 and she’s 24. I think part of it is jealousy.

She knows a couple of the other girls fancy me and I think she’s trying to sabotage any chance I have with them.

Not that I’m even planning anything.

She’s so insecure and has a vicious tongue on her.

I’m tempted to let each of her so-called friends know what she really says about them in private.

Even her best friend gets a nasty critique every time she posts anything on Instagram.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Her top is either too short, or her hair looks like wire, or her laugh is fake . . . it goes on and on.

I don’t regret splitting up with her but this last trick has really infuriated me.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t let yourself stoop to her level.

You can make it clear she is lying without playing her game, which would only escalate tensions and reflect badly on you.

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You could maybe reply with: “Let’s just say she never complained when we were together and nor have any of my other exes.”

Your friends will soon see her behaviour for what it is – jealous insecurity.

My partner said he was on a work trip – but he was actually getting married and on his honeymoon 0 28

DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner said he was on a work trip two months ago, but he had actually got married and been on honeymoon.

Our relationship had become a bit predictable, but we still had regular sex and nice days out with our two young sons.

My partner lied about his work trip – he was really on his HONEYMOON

I’m 32 and he’s 37. Our sons are four and two.

When he returned from his “work trip” he blamed me for his cheating, saying I had let myself go and didn’t pay him enough attention.

He then told me he’d “traded up” for a better model. It didn’t stop there.

He said that his wife, who is 27, is absolutely stunning and makes him feel special.

Apparently this woman was a barmaid he’d met on a golf trip and they had been seeing each other for six months.

He told me all this, then marched upstairs and packed his games console and his clothes and drove off out of my life.

The thing is, we always talked about getting married but when we had kids there always seemed something better to spend our money on.

Mutual friends have told me he has moved into a new-build home on the other side of our small town and his wife has plenty of family money.

My sons are really missing him and I don’t even know how I feel.

Sometimes when he comes to visit the boys I beg him to come home.

But other times I’m so angry with him, I refuse to let him in.

Now he is accusing me of stopping him from seeing his children.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Surely he can’t just show up when he likes?

I’m a mess and need to start getting a grip for the kids’ sake.

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DEIDRE SAYS: I’m so sorry your partner ended your relationship in such a cruel way.

This man sounds selfish and immature, and quite frankly the way he has treated you is emotionally abusive.

It won’t feel like it now, but you really are better off without him.

He is behaving like he still lives in your home, by just turning up unannounced.

Tell him firmly that you would encourage a good relationship between him and your sons but he can only collect them with prior arrangement.

Start to put down your boundaries.

I’m sending you my support pack When Parents Fall Out, which you could pass to him to help explain why you need to co-operate for the future wellbeing of your children.

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Give yourself time and be kind to yourself. He put you down constantly, now you can start to build up your confidence.

I’d recommend seeing a counsellor to help you with this betrayal and am sending you my Counselling support pack.

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