I’m a dating coach and these are the six red flags that show your date is only after sex 0 112

DATING is tough, especially when you don’t know if the person you’re speaking to wants the same things as you.

If you’re looking for more than just a romp in the sack but aren’t convinced your date is on the same page, then our expert’s tips will help you suss it out.

GettyA dating expert has revealed the six red flags to look out for[/caption]

Dating expert Persia Lawson shares the six red flags to look out for if you’re worried they only want one thing…

They booty call you

Persia said: “Let’s start with the most obvious. You get that text late on a Saturday night, with a: ‘What are you up to?’

“If they say they’ll send an Uber for you or head over to yours, but they’re never interested in meeting up in the day… then they’ve definitely shown you that they just want sex.

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“It’s obvious that this is just a booty call at the end of the night when they’ve not scored with anyone else.”

They pile on the pressure

Persia said: “Getting that feeling of pressure is a red flag. They might be physically forward with you very early on or making little sexual innuendos or jokes.

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“They may make you feel uneasy that they’re being too forward and that could make you feel uncomfortable.

“When you’re with them the interactions could be physical, but when they’re messaging if they constantly reference sex and it’s always at the forefront of the dynamic, that’s not a good sign.”

They say they ‘just want a bit of fun’

Persia said: “If they tell you they’re looking for just a bit of fun or not looking for anything serious.

“Sometimes this happens when someone has just come out of a serious relationship.

“But if they say something along those lines to you, don’t waste your time. They’re clearly just looking for a cheeky night and not a commitment.

“A lot of people, particularly women, don’t want to acknowledge that so they try and steer it down a deeper more serious route, but it doesn’t work.

“If they say they’re not looking for anything serious – what they’re really saying is: ‘I just want to bonk and bounce’!”

The conversation is surface level

Persia said: “Someone who keeps the contact or dynamic at surface level is probably only looking for one type of intimacy.

“They may be quite superficial with their conversation and they may not be making an effort to know you on a deeper level.

“Sometimes people will still ask the obvious questions but chatting can feel rushed and not very personal.

“On the other hand, there are people who want to make you think they’re really deep but they’re actually luring you in with a false sense of security so that you open up and sleep with them.

“So either they’re very direct and surface level or they go too deep and they act like they’re really vulnerable.”

They dodge the group hang

Persia said: “Watch out for people who aren’t interested in hanging out with your friends or even having you to hang out with their friends.

“Some people cancel at the last minute and show no interest in connecting with you outside of just the two of you, because they just want sex.

“It sounds really horrible but I’ve seen it from time to time where someone is embarrassed of the person they’re with and don’t want their friends to find out.

“They can present that as: ‘I just love it being us’ as if they’re really into you.

“But actually if someone wants more than sex with you they’re really excited for you to meet their friends and family.”

They don’t spend any money

Persia said: “If someone’s just looking for sex, they’re not really interested in impressing you and investing in you in the same way they would be if they really liked you. So they can be a bit stingy.

“I’ve seen this with people who are sleeping around a lot, because they have so many dates they can’t afford to splash the cash on everyone.

“But the minute they meet someone they really like, they’ll be happy to open their wallet.”

Persia Lawson’s book Love Is Coming: How To Find Real Love In A Superficial World is out now.

Want more dating tips? This dating expert revealed the personality trait that makes you the most “desirable” and the two that will struggle with love.

Plus this dating expert revealed the ideal way to ask a woman out and every bloke should watch it.

And Brits revealed how to have the perfect first date – including buying three drinks and complementing your partner twice.

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My bitter ex told lies to my friends about my ‘small manhood’ after I dumped her 0 47

DEAR DEIDRE: MY ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger.

She never complained when we were together, but last week she told the girls in our group that being with me was “like kissing a soggy lettuce leaf” and that she “literally didn’t feel a thing when we were having sex” because I’m so small.

My ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger

I’m 25 and she’s 24. I think part of it is jealousy.

She knows a couple of the other girls fancy me and I think she’s trying to sabotage any chance I have with them.

Not that I’m even planning anything.

She’s so insecure and has a vicious tongue on her.

I’m tempted to let each of her so-called friends know what she really says about them in private.

Even her best friend gets a nasty critique every time she posts anything on Instagram.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Her top is either too short, or her hair looks like wire, or her laugh is fake . . . it goes on and on.

I don’t regret splitting up with her but this last trick has really infuriated me.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t let yourself stoop to her level.

You can make it clear she is lying without playing her game, which would only escalate tensions and reflect badly on you.

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You could maybe reply with: “Let’s just say she never complained when we were together and nor have any of my other exes.”

Your friends will soon see her behaviour for what it is – jealous insecurity.

My partner said he was on a work trip – but he was actually getting married and on his honeymoon 0 30

DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner said he was on a work trip two months ago, but he had actually got married and been on honeymoon.

Our relationship had become a bit predictable, but we still had regular sex and nice days out with our two young sons.

My partner lied about his work trip – he was really on his HONEYMOON

I’m 32 and he’s 37. Our sons are four and two.

When he returned from his “work trip” he blamed me for his cheating, saying I had let myself go and didn’t pay him enough attention.

He then told me he’d “traded up” for a better model. It didn’t stop there.

He said that his wife, who is 27, is absolutely stunning and makes him feel special.

Apparently this woman was a barmaid he’d met on a golf trip and they had been seeing each other for six months.

He told me all this, then marched upstairs and packed his games console and his clothes and drove off out of my life.

The thing is, we always talked about getting married but when we had kids there always seemed something better to spend our money on.

Mutual friends have told me he has moved into a new-build home on the other side of our small town and his wife has plenty of family money.

My sons are really missing him and I don’t even know how I feel.

Sometimes when he comes to visit the boys I beg him to come home.

But other times I’m so angry with him, I refuse to let him in.

Now he is accusing me of stopping him from seeing his children.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Surely he can’t just show up when he likes?

I’m a mess and need to start getting a grip for the kids’ sake.

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DEIDRE SAYS: I’m so sorry your partner ended your relationship in such a cruel way.

This man sounds selfish and immature, and quite frankly the way he has treated you is emotionally abusive.

It won’t feel like it now, but you really are better off without him.

He is behaving like he still lives in your home, by just turning up unannounced.

Tell him firmly that you would encourage a good relationship between him and your sons but he can only collect them with prior arrangement.

Start to put down your boundaries.

I’m sending you my support pack When Parents Fall Out, which you could pass to him to help explain why you need to co-operate for the future wellbeing of your children.

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Give yourself time and be kind to yourself. He put you down constantly, now you can start to build up your confidence.

I’d recommend seeing a counsellor to help you with this betrayal and am sending you my Counselling support pack.

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