What causes premature ejaculation and how can you stop it? Treatments available and 3 things you can do 0 34

PREMATURE ejaculation is a very common situation, and can be a source of embarrassment – but there is nothing to be ashamed of.

Here are some tips for making sex last longer and treatment available for those who require it…

A third of men experience premature ejaculation and it is extremely commonAlamy

What causes premature ejaculation?

Premature ejaculation is the name given when a man ejaculates either before, or a very short time after, entering the vagina.

It’s a major concern for many blokes, with 30 per cent of lads reporting to have been affected by the condition last year.

According to the NHS, a number of psychological and physical factors can cause premature ejaculation.

Physical reasons include prostate problems, thyroid problems and recreational drugs.

Experts have revealed that men with bigger bellies last longer in bedExperts have revealed that men with bigger bellies last longer in bedAlamy

Meanwhile psychological problems include depression, stress, relationship problems or anxiety about sexual performance.

A study has shown that the size of a man’s stomach may well be a better indicator of how long he can keep it going in the sack.

The research comes from scientists at Erciyes University in Turkey, who now believe that larger men make better lovers because they’ve got more sexual stamina.

The researchers studied 200 men; comparing their body mass index (BMI) to their sexual performance.

Interestingly, the result showed that fatter men with bigger bellies lasted longer in bed then their svelte counterparts.

In fact, men with visible belly fat and a higher BMI could get down to it for an average 7.3 minutes, while slimmer men lasted an average of 1.8 minutes in the sack and were more likely to suffer from premature ejaculation.

The scientists thought that the reason behind larger lads lasting longer is that they have higher levels of the female sex hormone oestradiol, which may disrupt the body’s chemical balance and inhibits them from climaxing for longer.

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How can you treat premature ejaculation?

There are a number of things you can do before seeking professional help.

According to the NHS, it can sometimes help to:

  • masturbate an hour or two before having sex
  • use a thick condom to help decrease the sensation
  • take a deep breath to briefly shut down the ejaculatory reflex (an automatic reflex of the body during which ejaculation occurs)
  • have sex with your partner on top (to allow them to pull away when you are close to ejaculating)
  • take breaks during sex and think about something boring

If you do require treatment, this can be in the form of behavioural techniques, topical anaesthetics, counselling or medication.

A doctor may order blood tests to check the levels of testosterone, and you may be referred to a urologist or sexual dysfunction specialist.

Everything you need to know about sex and your body

Why does sex hurt?

Can you have sex while pregnant?

Can you have sex on your period?

How long should sex last?

The exact number of times you should be having sex each week

What causes premature ejaculation?

How many calories does sex burn?

What is a squirting orgasm?

The sex positions most likely to give you a UTI

How to make sex last longer?

Ian Kerner became a sex therapist after curing himself of his problem, and went on to write a book about pleasing women in bed, titled ‘She Comes First’.

Here are Ian’s three methods for mastering longer sex-sessions.

Master the mini-orgasm

In an article for Men’s Health, Ian explains that men should “practice masturbating nearly to the point of ejaculation, and then stop”.

He adds that guys will be able to tell they’ve reached the mini-orgasm phase because they will experience one or two small pelvic contractions – but won’t fully ejaculate.

Once familiar with this method, it’s time to use it during sex to ease the tension mid-bonk – allowing you to last longer without ejaculating.

Make your penis a sex toy

Ian reckons that perpendicular sex positions, that allow guys to stimulate a woman’s clitoris without penetration, are favourable.

He said: “As you each lie on your side facing each other, create a 90-degree angle between your shaft and her vulva.

“Instead of penetrating, press your shaft lengthwise against her clitoris and gently move it back and forth.”

Try using a numbing spray

If all else fails, try purchasing a numbing spray – these delay ejaculation and can increase bedroom lasting power by up to two minutes.

One study even found that men could for as long as 11 minutes after a few sprays.

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My bitter ex told lies to my friends about my ‘small manhood’ after I dumped her 0 47

DEAR DEIDRE: MY ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger.

She never complained when we were together, but last week she told the girls in our group that being with me was “like kissing a soggy lettuce leaf” and that she “literally didn’t feel a thing when we were having sex” because I’m so small.

My ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger

I’m 25 and she’s 24. I think part of it is jealousy.

She knows a couple of the other girls fancy me and I think she’s trying to sabotage any chance I have with them.

Not that I’m even planning anything.

She’s so insecure and has a vicious tongue on her.

I’m tempted to let each of her so-called friends know what she really says about them in private.

Even her best friend gets a nasty critique every time she posts anything on Instagram.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Her top is either too short, or her hair looks like wire, or her laugh is fake . . . it goes on and on.

I don’t regret splitting up with her but this last trick has really infuriated me.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t let yourself stoop to her level.

You can make it clear she is lying without playing her game, which would only escalate tensions and reflect badly on you.

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You could maybe reply with: “Let’s just say she never complained when we were together and nor have any of my other exes.”

Your friends will soon see her behaviour for what it is – jealous insecurity.

My partner said he was on a work trip – but he was actually getting married and on his honeymoon 0 30

DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner said he was on a work trip two months ago, but he had actually got married and been on honeymoon.

Our relationship had become a bit predictable, but we still had regular sex and nice days out with our two young sons.

My partner lied about his work trip – he was really on his HONEYMOON

I’m 32 and he’s 37. Our sons are four and two.

When he returned from his “work trip” he blamed me for his cheating, saying I had let myself go and didn’t pay him enough attention.

He then told me he’d “traded up” for a better model. It didn’t stop there.

He said that his wife, who is 27, is absolutely stunning and makes him feel special.

Apparently this woman was a barmaid he’d met on a golf trip and they had been seeing each other for six months.

He told me all this, then marched upstairs and packed his games console and his clothes and drove off out of my life.

The thing is, we always talked about getting married but when we had kids there always seemed something better to spend our money on.

Mutual friends have told me he has moved into a new-build home on the other side of our small town and his wife has plenty of family money.

My sons are really missing him and I don’t even know how I feel.

Sometimes when he comes to visit the boys I beg him to come home.

But other times I’m so angry with him, I refuse to let him in.

Now he is accusing me of stopping him from seeing his children.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Surely he can’t just show up when he likes?

I’m a mess and need to start getting a grip for the kids’ sake.

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DEAR DEIDRE

I caught my husband snogging my sister – how am I meant to trust him again?

DEIDRE SAYS: I’m so sorry your partner ended your relationship in such a cruel way.

This man sounds selfish and immature, and quite frankly the way he has treated you is emotionally abusive.

It won’t feel like it now, but you really are better off without him.

He is behaving like he still lives in your home, by just turning up unannounced.

Tell him firmly that you would encourage a good relationship between him and your sons but he can only collect them with prior arrangement.

Start to put down your boundaries.

I’m sending you my support pack When Parents Fall Out, which you could pass to him to help explain why you need to co-operate for the future wellbeing of your children.

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Give yourself time and be kind to yourself. He put you down constantly, now you can start to build up your confidence.

I’d recommend seeing a counsellor to help you with this betrayal and am sending you my Counselling support pack.

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