How long should sex last? Eight tips to be more satisfied in bed 0 32

HOW LONG should sex actually last? 

Men are desperate to know the answer – and women are keen for them to learn.  

Getty80 per cent of women will not climax through penetrative sex alone[/caption]

Over 30 per cent of guys suffer from premature ejaculation at some point in their lives, so it comes as no surprise the number one download for fellas on sexual wellness app Lover is ‘Lasting Longer in Bed’.

But what is the desired time for duration? Scientific studies show anywhere between seven to 13 minutes.

Unsurprisingly less than two minutes was deemed “too short” and sex was considered “too long” if it lasted more than 15 to 30 minutes. 

Sun Sexpert Georgette Culley says: “The average man takes between five to seven minutes to orgasm while the average woman takes 13.-14.

Sex and your body

Everything you need to know about sex and your body

Why does sex hurt?

Can you have sex while pregnant?

Can you have sex on your period?

How long should sex last?

The exact number of times you should be having sex each week

What causes premature ejaculation?

How many calories does sex burn?

What is a squirting orgasm?

The sex positions most likely to give you a UTI

GettyScientific studies show that the ideal duration of sex is anywhere between seven to 13 minutes[/caption]

“What’s more, a whopping 80 per cent of women will not climax through penetrative sex alone. They need a helping hand to get over the finishing line.

“Men go wrong because they fixate on lasting longer than an episode of Love Island. They put too much pressure on themselves and the show is over before it’s begun.  

“You don’t need to last longer than an hour but if you’re struggling to stay up for ten mins or more then it’s important to build up your stamina.

“Remember it’s not all about penetrative sex – break up your lovemaking by spending ten minutes on foreplay and ten minutes on intercourse.”

But if you want to last longer in bed, here’s my guide to make you a stallion in the sack…

THE STOP-START TECHNIQUE

This simple exercise is one of the most effective ways to control your arousal, so you don’t fall over the edge into orgasm before you’re ready. 

Masturbate (either alone or with a partner), then stop just as you’re about to climax, take some deep breaths and allow your desire to decrease. 

Repeat this exercise as many times as you like and time yourself to see if your duration improves.

GettyResearch shows 95 per cent of men usually orgasm during sex[/caption]

THE SQUEEZE TECHNIQUE

The power is in your hands, as it were. Just as you feel yourself edging towards climax, pause, stop stimulation, (whether you’re self pleasuring or having sex) then squeeze the tip of your manhood. 

This should lower the intensity of the stimulation and give you a moment for your arousal to lessen. When you feel you’ve backed away from the edge or orgasm, you can return to stimulation.

TRY TANTRA

There is so much more to sex than just intercourse. A brilliant way to build sexual stamina and excitement is to practice tantra with your partner.

Lie naked to one another naked and synchronise your breathing, gently move your hands around one another’s body – and rest them on each other’s private parts – but don’t actually engage in foreplay.   Practice for 15 mins a day. 

ENGAGE IN COREPLAY

This can never be said enough – sex is more than just penetration. 

Research shows 95 per cent of men usually orgasm during sex. However, this could only be said for 65 per cent of women.

Help close ‘The Pleasure Gap’ by making foreplay your coreplay. This will most likely give your partner the stimulation they need to orgasm and lengthen the time of your sexual encounter.

EXERCISE YOUR KEGELS  

It’s not just pregnant women who need to exercise their pelvic floor, men do too. 

A study revealed that 82.5 per cent of men who struggled with early or involuntary ejaculation were able to regain control of the ejaculatory reflex after 12 weeks of practicing kegels. 

This exercise involves tightening your pelvic floor muscles by contracting and relaxing the muscles that form part of the pelvic floor. Check out Kegel Gym exercise in the Lover app to get started. 

BE ADVENTUROUS

Some positions will help you last longer. Spooning, 69, girl on top and chair seat (where your partner sits on you like a chair and controls the depth of penetration) will help give you a long-lasting experience in the bedroom. Don’t be afraid to mix things up, see what works for you and what doesn’t.

FOCUS ON YOUR PARTNER’S PLEASURE

Try diverting your attention away from the pleasure you’re experiencing, and focus on the pleasure your partner is experiencing. This might also help you to regain control of your own arousal, and your partner will find it super hot to have that extra attention.

STAY FIT

Obesity, high blood pressure, and diabetes all contribute to erectile dysfunction and early or premature ejaculation.

Make sure that you’re eating a balanced diet and stay active. If you’re sitting at your desk all day, go for a walk in your lunch break, and make sure you’re getting enough fibre.

All of these small steps will not just improve your overall health, but it will help to stave off any illnesses that could impact your erections.

Most read in Fabulous

BEA PLEA

Andrew's daughters Beatrice & Eugenie beg Charles to give their shamed dad new job

CLOTHES CALL

I'm fed up of my ex's step kids stealing the clothes I buy my children

NAME GAME

I work in a school & judge your kids if they’ve got these names, one is SO sneaky

IN A SPIN

Mrs Hinch fans share 7p hack to dry clothes without using your tumble dryer

OH BABY!

I’ve had four babies in 11 months – and they aren’t quads

TATT'S AWFUL

Tattooist shows off freckles she gave to a client… but people are horrified

Sexpert reveals the secret sex mistake most women make, and the X-rated way to fix it.

I can orgasm just by thinking about it, sometimes I do it when driving around – it’s more satisfying than proper sex.

Sex doctor reveals bucket list of things you HAVE to try this summer – from skinny dipping to outdoor romps.

Previous ArticleNext Article

My bitter ex told lies to my friends about my ‘small manhood’ after I dumped her 0 40

DEAR DEIDRE: MY ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger.

She never complained when we were together, but last week she told the girls in our group that being with me was “like kissing a soggy lettuce leaf” and that she “literally didn’t feel a thing when we were having sex” because I’m so small.

My ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger

I’m 25 and she’s 24. I think part of it is jealousy.

She knows a couple of the other girls fancy me and I think she’s trying to sabotage any chance I have with them.

Not that I’m even planning anything.

She’s so insecure and has a vicious tongue on her.

I’m tempted to let each of her so-called friends know what she really says about them in private.

Even her best friend gets a nasty critique every time she posts anything on Instagram.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Her top is either too short, or her hair looks like wire, or her laugh is fake . . . it goes on and on.

I don’t regret splitting up with her but this last trick has really infuriated me.

Most read in Dear Deidre

DEAR DEIDRE

I want to sleep with my hot neighbour, but I'm worried about our age gap

IN DEEP WATER

My wife thinks it's unreasonable to ask her to wash before wild sex

THE BIG ISSUE

My boyfriend's completely gone off sex since I gained weight

BEG, BORROW OR STEAL?

My neighbour borrowed my shed and refused to pay me for it

DEIDRE'S STORIES

Alfie is feeling awkward after dreaming about his mate's hot wife, Sarah

DEAR DEIDRE

I caught my husband snogging my sister – how am I meant to trust him again?

DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t let yourself stoop to her level.

You can make it clear she is lying without playing her game, which would only escalate tensions and reflect badly on you.

MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE

DEIDRE’S STORIES

Maya gets the blame after telling dad about her mum’s secret kiss

HEAR DEIDRE

A new episode of the Dear Deidre podcast is available TODAY

You could maybe reply with: “Let’s just say she never complained when we were together and nor have any of my other exes.”

Your friends will soon see her behaviour for what it is – jealous insecurity.

My partner said he was on a work trip – but he was actually getting married and on his honeymoon 0 28

DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner said he was on a work trip two months ago, but he had actually got married and been on honeymoon.

Our relationship had become a bit predictable, but we still had regular sex and nice days out with our two young sons.

My partner lied about his work trip – he was really on his HONEYMOON

I’m 32 and he’s 37. Our sons are four and two.

When he returned from his “work trip” he blamed me for his cheating, saying I had let myself go and didn’t pay him enough attention.

He then told me he’d “traded up” for a better model. It didn’t stop there.

He said that his wife, who is 27, is absolutely stunning and makes him feel special.

Apparently this woman was a barmaid he’d met on a golf trip and they had been seeing each other for six months.

He told me all this, then marched upstairs and packed his games console and his clothes and drove off out of my life.

The thing is, we always talked about getting married but when we had kids there always seemed something better to spend our money on.

Mutual friends have told me he has moved into a new-build home on the other side of our small town and his wife has plenty of family money.

My sons are really missing him and I don’t even know how I feel.

Sometimes when he comes to visit the boys I beg him to come home.

But other times I’m so angry with him, I refuse to let him in.

Now he is accusing me of stopping him from seeing his children.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Surely he can’t just show up when he likes?

I’m a mess and need to start getting a grip for the kids’ sake.

Most read in Dear Deidre

DEAR DEIDRE

I want to sleep with my hot neighbour, but I'm worried about our age gap

IN DEEP WATER

My wife thinks it's unreasonable to ask her to wash before wild sex

THE BIG ISSUE

My boyfriend's completely gone off sex since I gained weight

BEG, BORROW OR STEAL?

My neighbour borrowed my shed and refused to pay me for it

DEIDRE'S STORIES

Alfie is feeling awkward after dreaming about his mate's hot wife, Sarah

DEAR DEIDRE

I caught my husband snogging my sister – how am I meant to trust him again?

DEIDRE SAYS: I’m so sorry your partner ended your relationship in such a cruel way.

This man sounds selfish and immature, and quite frankly the way he has treated you is emotionally abusive.

It won’t feel like it now, but you really are better off without him.

He is behaving like he still lives in your home, by just turning up unannounced.

Tell him firmly that you would encourage a good relationship between him and your sons but he can only collect them with prior arrangement.

Start to put down your boundaries.

I’m sending you my support pack When Parents Fall Out, which you could pass to him to help explain why you need to co-operate for the future wellbeing of your children.

MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE

DEIDRE’S STORIES

Maya gets the blame after telling dad about her mum’s secret kiss

HEAR DEIDRE

A new episode of the Dear Deidre podcast is available TODAY

Give yourself time and be kind to yourself. He put you down constantly, now you can start to build up your confidence.

I’d recommend seeing a counsellor to help you with this betrayal and am sending you my Counselling support pack.

Most Popular Topics

Editor Picks