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I’m obsessed with tracking down my husband’s mistresses 0 150

Stanley Myrick

DEAR DEIDRE: SINCE I discovered my husband has been cheating on me, I’ve become obsessed with tracking down his other women.

I’m 34 and he is 36, but his type appears to be women in their 50s and 60s — who certainly look their age.

It’s like he is two different people, and I don’t know one of them

I feel so hurt and confused.

We’ve been married for seven years and have a son aged four.

I had no idea anything was up until I found dodgy messages on his phone, which led me to videos on a swingers’ website.

What I saw rocked my world. Every single video he’d watched focused on much older women.

Without exception, they were all wearing trampy clothes and had badly dyed hair.

Even worse, the messages showed he had had sex with some of them.

I confronted him about this and he begged forgiveness, saying it was just a one-off.

But I know he’s lying, as there were several women.

It’s like he is two different people, and I don’t know one of them — the sleazy, sex-mad cheat.

We’ve always had a very active and enjoyable sex life, so it’s not as if he needed to look elsewhere.

I feel sick thinking about the times we’ve had sex without using condoms, knowing that he was sleeping with them too.

At night, I lie awake tormenting myself.

I want to know every detail of what he did, and with whom, and I want to talk to these women to find out what they have that I don’t.

But he’s now unsubscribed from the website and deleted the messages, so I can’t.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

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He’s always been a loving partner and a fantastic dad.

Now it feels like he’s destroyed our relationship and our family.

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DEIDRE SAYS: You’ve had a horrendous shock and are reeling.

Some men cheat with seemingly out-of-character behaviour, after they had appeared to be the perfect husband.

This comes from a fear of losing all identity, and cheating is their one way of expressing themselves.

Your husband has destroyed your trust and made you now question everything.

Tell him how you’re feeling. Say you need to understand his desire for older women.

It could be as simple as that he goes for a completely different type to you to keep the two entirely separate in his mind.

You were happy before you discovered his infidelities, and you have a child to think about.

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HEAR DEIDRE

A new episode of the Dear Deidre podcast is available TODAY

You would benefit from sexual and relationship counselling – alone and/or together. The College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists (cosrt.org.uk, 020 8543 2707) will help you find help.

Please also have a full sexual health check. He must do this, too. Find your local clinic on nhs.uk.

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Supporting Ukraine Through Purchasing Power: The Initiatives Keeping the Country’s Economy Afloat 0 171

Alice Trout

Amidst the Russian invasion, Ukrainian creatives are launching initiatives to keep the country’s economy going by harnessing consumer power. Spend With Ukraine is one such online resource that connects consumers to Ukraine-based businesses across various industries, while the Ukrainian Emergency Art Fund allows for donations to support artists. Co-founder of Spend With Ukraine, Andrey Klen, emphasizes the importance of supporting the Ukrainian economy through purchasing decisions. He states, “Armies win battles, but economies win wars.”

Ukrainian brands are still operating and many are donating a portion of their sales to different needs to support the country. To sustain interest in supporting Ukraine through spending, increasing the visibility of these initiatives is key. As Klen says, “We want it to blow out.” These efforts not only help Ukrainian creatives but also support existing industries and provide a sense of normality in these difficult times.

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Alice Trout

One topic that may be of interest to readers in the adult film industry is the topic of workplace safety and consent.

The adult film industry, like any other industry, has a responsibility to ensure the safety and well-being of its workers. This includes providing a safe working environment, protecting workers from physical and emotional harm, and ensuring that all acts are consensual. However, the nature of the adult film industry can make it difficult to ensure that these standards are met. Actors and actresses may feel pressure to perform acts that they are not comfortable with, and there have been instances of abuse and exploitation in the industry.

To address these issues, it is essential for the industry to have clear guidelines and policies in place to protect the rights and safety of workers. This includes providing education and resources for performers, implementing strict consent protocols, and holding producers and directors accountable for ensuring a safe working environment.

Another important aspect of this topic is the importance of consent in adult film. Consent is a crucial aspect of any sexual encounter and must be obtained freely, enthusiastically, and without coercion. In the adult film industry, where performers are engaging in sexual acts on camera, it is especially important that consent is explicitly obtained and respected. This can be achieved through the use of consent forms and communication between performers before and during filming.

By discussing these topics, the industry can work towards creating a safer and more respectful environment for all performers and ensure that the rights and well-being of workers are protected.

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