From premature ejaculation to a swollen toe – Dr Jeff answers your health questions 0 45

DR JEFF FOSTER is The Sun on Sunday’s new resident doctor and is here to help YOU.

Dr Jeff, 43, splits his time between working as a GP in Leamington Spa, Warks, and running his clinic, H3 Health, which is the first of its kind in the UK to look at hormonal issues for both men and women. See h3health.co.uk.

Q) I HAVE been seeing my boyfriend for a year. He’s 27, handsome, kind and funny. 

But he has premature ejaculation issues and he’s embarrassed about it. When we do try to have sex, it’s game over before it’s even started. He doesn’t want to talk about it.

 What can I do? Is there anything I can buy to stop it happening or any advice you can give me for him? I really want us to have a good sex life.

 Olivia, Preston

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A) An estimated one in three men experience premature ejaculation at some point. They often feel inadequate as a result.

 Premature ejaculation is defined as when a male ejaculates too quickly during sex. But that is subjective. The average time for intercourse in the UK is five to six minutes, so for many men, what they perceive as premature is actually normal. 

For those men who still feel they have a problem, last even less time, or cannot achieve penetration at all, many therapies and treatments are available. 

The first thing to do is to try to talk to your partner about it. By working together, almost all treatments are more successful. Non-medical therapies include slowing down or stopping during sex, or taking a break from penetration.

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When masturbating, the “squeeze” technique (where you reach near climax then squeeze the end of the penis to prevent ejaculation), can help retrain your orgasmic processes. 

If this fails, there are medical therapies available including topical gels, creams and tablets. 

 Q) I AM a 35-year-old travel consultant and one of my big toes is enormous. I dropped a jar of pickled eggs on it during lockdown and I guessed it was broken, but I didn’t want to go to A&E during Covid.

More than two years later, it’s still swollen and painful. It looks awful. I’m due to go on holiday in August. Any suggestions?

 Jade Ralph, Swansea

A) Missed breaks or fractures in toes and fingers are relatively common.

Sometimes it can be more complicated than a simple fracture and without appropriate specialist input, may fail to heal properly.

This can result in chronic pain, swelling and arthritis that can last for many years. 

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After two years, the only way to know what damage has been done is to get an X-ray and see if there is a fracture that has failed to heal.

 If this is the case, you may require an operation to pin the bits of broken bone back in place, or would at least benefit from seeing an orthopaedic surgeon (bone doctor) to look at options.

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My bitter ex told lies to my friends about my ‘small manhood’ after I dumped her 0 40

DEAR DEIDRE: MY ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger.

She never complained when we were together, but last week she told the girls in our group that being with me was “like kissing a soggy lettuce leaf” and that she “literally didn’t feel a thing when we were having sex” because I’m so small.

My ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger

I’m 25 and she’s 24. I think part of it is jealousy.

She knows a couple of the other girls fancy me and I think she’s trying to sabotage any chance I have with them.

Not that I’m even planning anything.

She’s so insecure and has a vicious tongue on her.

I’m tempted to let each of her so-called friends know what she really says about them in private.

Even her best friend gets a nasty critique every time she posts anything on Instagram.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Her top is either too short, or her hair looks like wire, or her laugh is fake . . . it goes on and on.

I don’t regret splitting up with her but this last trick has really infuriated me.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t let yourself stoop to her level.

You can make it clear she is lying without playing her game, which would only escalate tensions and reflect badly on you.

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You could maybe reply with: “Let’s just say she never complained when we were together and nor have any of my other exes.”

Your friends will soon see her behaviour for what it is – jealous insecurity.

My partner said he was on a work trip – but he was actually getting married and on his honeymoon 0 28

DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner said he was on a work trip two months ago, but he had actually got married and been on honeymoon.

Our relationship had become a bit predictable, but we still had regular sex and nice days out with our two young sons.

My partner lied about his work trip – he was really on his HONEYMOON

I’m 32 and he’s 37. Our sons are four and two.

When he returned from his “work trip” he blamed me for his cheating, saying I had let myself go and didn’t pay him enough attention.

He then told me he’d “traded up” for a better model. It didn’t stop there.

He said that his wife, who is 27, is absolutely stunning and makes him feel special.

Apparently this woman was a barmaid he’d met on a golf trip and they had been seeing each other for six months.

He told me all this, then marched upstairs and packed his games console and his clothes and drove off out of my life.

The thing is, we always talked about getting married but when we had kids there always seemed something better to spend our money on.

Mutual friends have told me he has moved into a new-build home on the other side of our small town and his wife has plenty of family money.

My sons are really missing him and I don’t even know how I feel.

Sometimes when he comes to visit the boys I beg him to come home.

But other times I’m so angry with him, I refuse to let him in.

Now he is accusing me of stopping him from seeing his children.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Surely he can’t just show up when he likes?

I’m a mess and need to start getting a grip for the kids’ sake.

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DEIDRE SAYS: I’m so sorry your partner ended your relationship in such a cruel way.

This man sounds selfish and immature, and quite frankly the way he has treated you is emotionally abusive.

It won’t feel like it now, but you really are better off without him.

He is behaving like he still lives in your home, by just turning up unannounced.

Tell him firmly that you would encourage a good relationship between him and your sons but he can only collect them with prior arrangement.

Start to put down your boundaries.

I’m sending you my support pack When Parents Fall Out, which you could pass to him to help explain why you need to co-operate for the future wellbeing of your children.

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Give yourself time and be kind to yourself. He put you down constantly, now you can start to build up your confidence.

I’d recommend seeing a counsellor to help you with this betrayal and am sending you my Counselling support pack.

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