I know I’m great in bed, so why is my girlfriend avoiding sex? 0 35

DEAR DEIDRE: I TAKE pride in my bedroom skills and ensure I really understand women’s pleasure, but now I think my ­girlfriend is playing games with me to avoid intimacy.

I’ve read the Kama Sutra, The Joy Of Sex and Come As You Are, as well as plenty of other related books.

I really want us to work together but I can’t live a sexless life

I’ve only had three partners but all of them have said they were very satisfied with our sex life.

My second girlfriend had never orgasmed so I made it my mission to understand her body completely so we both could enjoy sex.

She trusted me and together we explored her body.

We both learned what she liked and didn’t, until we had a great time in bed.

I’ve been with my current girlfriend for seven years and we have a daughter of five.

She never had any issue with climaxing and we used to have sex five or six times a week at least.

We were so in tune with each other but now I feel like we are on completely different pages.

I do all the touchy-feely stuff that women love when it comes to sex, but I keep getting shown the red card.

She only ever wants sex, which is once in a blue moon, when I’m dog tired and falling asleep.

On the rare occasion she seems to be in the mood for a bit of a kiss and a ­cuddle, as soon as I go in close she shuts me down. I feel like she’s ­playing games.

We are both 31 now — I know we are parents but I’m far too young to give up sex.

Obviously when our daughter was born my girl didn’t want to know for a few months, which was fine.

Then our sex life picked up again but over the past year it’s dropped off a cliff.

I really want us to work together but I can’t live a sexless life.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

What can I do?

I came from a broken home and didn’t have the best start. I’m ­determined that it won’t be like that for my daughter.

Most read in Dear Deidre

DEAR DEIDRE

My lover can't choose between me and her husband – should I tell him the truth?

PREGNANT PAIN

I'm pregnant with my love rat ex's child but I don't want him in my life

GONE COLD

Why does a woman who used to flirt with me all the time now walk straight by?

DEIDRE'S STORIES

Bobby and his girlfriend move into new home and meet their neighbours

DEAR DEIDRE

I joined my ex for threesome with his new girlfriend and I have fallen for her

GONE SOUR

I went into business with closest pal – but he started ripping me off

DEIDRE SAYS: A good sex life is about compromise.

If your girlfriend is playing games, coming on to you when she knows you won’t want sex, then it lets her off the hook, and that’s not fair.

You’re a couple, not just Mum and Dad, so explain to her how important it is for you to show her how much you love her.

Everyone has expectations about what is the “normal” number of times to have sex but it should be more about quality sex than quantity.

MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE

DEIDRE’S STORIES

Jay tries to win his girlfriend’s mum Tanya over

HEAR DEIDRE

A new episode of the Dear Deidre podcast is available TODAY

Think about what would suit you and what you could change. Ask her what she would like too.

My support pack Different Sex Drives has great practical tips.

Previous ArticleNext Article

My bitter ex told lies to my friends about my ‘small manhood’ after I dumped her 0 40

DEAR DEIDRE: MY ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger.

She never complained when we were together, but last week she told the girls in our group that being with me was “like kissing a soggy lettuce leaf” and that she “literally didn’t feel a thing when we were having sex” because I’m so small.

My ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger

I’m 25 and she’s 24. I think part of it is jealousy.

She knows a couple of the other girls fancy me and I think she’s trying to sabotage any chance I have with them.

Not that I’m even planning anything.

She’s so insecure and has a vicious tongue on her.

I’m tempted to let each of her so-called friends know what she really says about them in private.

Even her best friend gets a nasty critique every time she posts anything on Instagram.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Her top is either too short, or her hair looks like wire, or her laugh is fake . . . it goes on and on.

I don’t regret splitting up with her but this last trick has really infuriated me.

Most read in Dear Deidre

DEAR DEIDRE

I want to sleep with my hot neighbour, but I'm worried about our age gap

IN DEEP WATER

My wife thinks it's unreasonable to ask her to wash before wild sex

THE BIG ISSUE

My boyfriend's completely gone off sex since I gained weight

BEG, BORROW OR STEAL?

My neighbour borrowed my shed and refused to pay me for it

DEIDRE'S STORIES

Alfie is feeling awkward after dreaming about his mate's hot wife, Sarah

DEAR DEIDRE

I caught my husband snogging my sister – how am I meant to trust him again?

DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t let yourself stoop to her level.

You can make it clear she is lying without playing her game, which would only escalate tensions and reflect badly on you.

MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE

DEIDRE’S STORIES

Maya gets the blame after telling dad about her mum’s secret kiss

HEAR DEIDRE

A new episode of the Dear Deidre podcast is available TODAY

You could maybe reply with: “Let’s just say she never complained when we were together and nor have any of my other exes.”

Your friends will soon see her behaviour for what it is – jealous insecurity.

My partner said he was on a work trip – but he was actually getting married and on his honeymoon 0 28

DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner said he was on a work trip two months ago, but he had actually got married and been on honeymoon.

Our relationship had become a bit predictable, but we still had regular sex and nice days out with our two young sons.

My partner lied about his work trip – he was really on his HONEYMOON

I’m 32 and he’s 37. Our sons are four and two.

When he returned from his “work trip” he blamed me for his cheating, saying I had let myself go and didn’t pay him enough attention.

He then told me he’d “traded up” for a better model. It didn’t stop there.

He said that his wife, who is 27, is absolutely stunning and makes him feel special.

Apparently this woman was a barmaid he’d met on a golf trip and they had been seeing each other for six months.

He told me all this, then marched upstairs and packed his games console and his clothes and drove off out of my life.

The thing is, we always talked about getting married but when we had kids there always seemed something better to spend our money on.

Mutual friends have told me he has moved into a new-build home on the other side of our small town and his wife has plenty of family money.

My sons are really missing him and I don’t even know how I feel.

Sometimes when he comes to visit the boys I beg him to come home.

But other times I’m so angry with him, I refuse to let him in.

Now he is accusing me of stopping him from seeing his children.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Surely he can’t just show up when he likes?

I’m a mess and need to start getting a grip for the kids’ sake.

Most read in Dear Deidre

DEAR DEIDRE

I want to sleep with my hot neighbour, but I'm worried about our age gap

IN DEEP WATER

My wife thinks it's unreasonable to ask her to wash before wild sex

THE BIG ISSUE

My boyfriend's completely gone off sex since I gained weight

BEG, BORROW OR STEAL?

My neighbour borrowed my shed and refused to pay me for it

DEIDRE'S STORIES

Alfie is feeling awkward after dreaming about his mate's hot wife, Sarah

DEAR DEIDRE

I caught my husband snogging my sister – how am I meant to trust him again?

DEIDRE SAYS: I’m so sorry your partner ended your relationship in such a cruel way.

This man sounds selfish and immature, and quite frankly the way he has treated you is emotionally abusive.

It won’t feel like it now, but you really are better off without him.

He is behaving like he still lives in your home, by just turning up unannounced.

Tell him firmly that you would encourage a good relationship between him and your sons but he can only collect them with prior arrangement.

Start to put down your boundaries.

I’m sending you my support pack When Parents Fall Out, which you could pass to him to help explain why you need to co-operate for the future wellbeing of your children.

MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE

DEIDRE’S STORIES

Maya gets the blame after telling dad about her mum’s secret kiss

HEAR DEIDRE

A new episode of the Dear Deidre podcast is available TODAY

Give yourself time and be kind to yourself. He put you down constantly, now you can start to build up your confidence.

I’d recommend seeing a counsellor to help you with this betrayal and am sending you my Counselling support pack.

Most Popular Topics

Editor Picks