How do you know if you’re with the wrong person? Ten signs from thinking about sex with others to skipping parties Comments Off on How do you know if you’re with the wrong person? Ten signs from thinking about sex with others to skipping parties 247

SOMETIMES after months, years or even decades, that niggling feeling won’t budge.

Nikki Watkins explains how to know if you have settled for a less than ideal match.

ShutterstockHere’s how to know if you have settled for a less than ideal match[/caption]

You’ve stopped going to zumba

MAYBE you have lost yourself somewhere along the way.

Georgette Culley, the Sun’s sex and relationships contributing editor, says: “Think back to the start. Who were you then?

Getty – ContributorGeorgette says: ‘Think back to the start. Who were you then?’[/caption]

“Have you brought your hobbies, interests and dreams with you into the relationship or have you forgotten what really makes you tick?

“Sometimes we wear a mask to fit into the life of someone else, rather than being ourselves. This isn’t sustainable.

“Maybe you have an amenable personality and need to shout a little louder, or start making time away from your partner to pursue your interests.”

They skipped your family party

NOT spending time with each other’s families could be cause for concern.

Georgette says: “If you go to family gatherings alone or your partner sees his or her family without you, ask yourself why. Is one of you ashamed of the other or hiding something?

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“Maybe one of you doesn’t see this relationship as worth investing in long-term and therefore don’t feel the need to build bonds with the in-laws.

“It’s time to have a frank conversation and get to the bottom of this.”

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You nod along when friends slate him or her

ALARM bells should ring when family and friends start slating your other half and you don’t leap to their defence, says relationship coach Kate Mansfield.

She adds: “The truth could be that subconsciously you’re beginning to see this person isn’t a good fit for you and coming to a subliminal decision that this won’t last for ever — so your loved ones’ opinions don’t matter.”

AlamyDo your family and friends start slating your other half?[/caption]

You never argue

NEVER bickering sounds like a dream, but Kate believes if a pair cannot clear the air they are not well matched.

She says: “There will be a feeling of walking on eggshells and tension building, yet nothing ever gets spoken about and put to rest.

GettyNever arguing sounds like a dream but Kate believes if a pair cannot clear the air they are not well matched[/caption]

“This kind of avoidance of conflict is unhealthy and can lead to health problems, be­cause unexpressed anger is deadly.

“This issue often manifests in your sex life slowly dying, along with your spark for each other.”

You fall asleep in front of the TV

YOU might think nothing of nodding off in front of the telly.

Life is tough at the moment and many of us are exhausted.

Getty – ContributorGeorgette says: ‘If hanging out together leaves you snoozier than ever, this could be a sign you’re with the wrong person’[/caption]

But Georgette says: “If hanging out together leaves you snoozier than ever, this could be a sign you’re with the wrong person.

“Your partner should make you feel joyful and alive.

“But if feelings of exhaustion and being stuck are creeping in, this is a huge warning that some serious work needs to be done.”

People coo over you being BFFs

BEING your other half’s best mate may seem like a “couple goal”, but it can ultimately make you both miserable, says Kate.

She advises: “You sometimes need to differentiate between your best pals and your lover.

Getty – ContributorBeing your other half’s best mate may seem like a ‘couple goal’[/caption]

“If they are your only confidante you are seeing them in the ‘friend role’ and that is taking away your spark

“You are also becoming too reliant on one person for all of your emotional needs.

“In reality, we need a range of friends and family for this.”

You think about sex . . .  just not with them

MISMATCHED libidos is normal, according to Georgette.

But she adds: “If you can’t remember the last time you actually wanted to have sex with your partner, yet you are thinking about having sex with other people, or pleasuring yourself, something could be amiss.

AlamyGeorgette says: ‘If you can’t remember the last time you actually wanted to have sex with your partner, yet you are thinking about having sex with other people, something could be amiss’[/caption]

“Have you entered the friend zone?

“If you want to repair your sex life and bring the spark back, act fast — try counselling.

“Having no sexual attraction to your other half could spell doom.”

You don’t know how they vote

BEING unable to share your views with your partner could spell trouble.

Georgette says: “You don’t have to agree on everything.

Getty – ContributorYou don’t have to agree on everything in life but being unable to share your views with your partner could spell trouble[/caption]

“But if you are unable to have an honest conversation about politics, your future — from babies to where you want to live when you retire — or even what sex ­positions you like or dislike, this could mean your relationship will get stuck in a halfway house where you never fully open up to each other.

The longer this goes on, the more distant you will become.”

They say, ‘I love you’

YOUR partner mentions the three little words, but do you know why they love you, asks Georgette.

She says: “Do they love your feisty personality, your sense of humour, your drive — or maybe your jiggly bottom, your little boobs or your freckles?

Getty – ContributorGeorgette asks do you know why your partner says they love you?[/caption]

“If the love is authentic, you would know.

“If you don’t know, it could be that your relationship is one of convenience, or mutually beneficial for other reasons such as finance or childcare.

“But when these things change, ask yourself what’s left.”

You’re getting forgetful

EVER find yourself asking them a question you’ve already asked?

Kate says: “Not really listening is a clear sign you are not interested in what they have to say.

Getty – ContributorKate says: ‘Not really listening is a clear sign you are not interested in what they have to say’[/caption]

“Similarly, if your partner asks you the same questions over and over, or worse still, very rarely asks you anything about your life — work, friends, family — there is a clear disconnect between the two of you. It needs addressing.

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“Try putting away phones in the evening and having an uninterrupted conversation.

“If either of you still lacks interest or you have nothing to talk about, maybe whatever initially attracted you to each other has fizzled out.”

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Managing Relationships While Working in the Adult Industry Comments Off on Managing Relationships While Working in the Adult Industry 257

Navigating romantic relationships can be complex, and this complexity often intensifies when one or both partners are involved in the adult industry. In this guide, we’ll explore practical strategies for maintaining healthy relationships, fostering open communication, and addressing challenges that may arise when one’s profession involves adult entertainment.

1. Open Communication:

Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship, especially when working in the adult industry. Establishing open and honest communication channels helps build trust and understanding between partners.

Example: Provide communication tips, such as setting aside dedicated time for discussions, creating a judgment-free zone, and actively listening to each other’s concerns.

2. Establishing Boundaries:

Clearly defining and respecting boundaries is crucial for both partners. Discussing comfort levels, expectations, and limits ensures that both individuals feel secure in the relationship.

Example: Offer guidance on how to have constructive conversations about boundaries, emphasizing the importance of mutual consent and compromise.

3. Building a Support System:

Developing a robust support system is essential. This includes friends, family, or colleagues who understand and respect the nature of the profession and can offer support during challenging times.

Example: Share stories of couples who have successfully built strong support systems and provide tips on how to nurture these networks.

4. Trust and Transparency:

Trust is a cornerstone of any relationship but becomes even more critical when working in the adult industry. Being transparent about one’s work and addressing concerns promptly helps foster trust between partners.

Example: Illustrate the positive outcomes of trust-building actions, such as being open about work schedules, discussing potential challenges, and offering reassurance.

5. Educating Partners:

Sometimes, misunderstandings arise due to lack of knowledge. Educating partners about the adult industry, its dynamics, and dispelling common myths can promote a better understanding of the profession.

Example: Create a guide for individuals to share with their partners, explaining the realities of the adult industry, emphasizing the consensual nature of the work, and addressing misconceptions.

6. Coping with External Judgments:

Working in the adult industry often comes with societal stigma. Discuss strategies for coping with external judgments and maintaining a strong sense of self-worth within the relationship.

Example: Share empowering stories of individuals who have successfully navigated societal stigma, emphasizing self-love and resilience.

7. Seeking Professional Guidance:

Relationships can benefit from professional guidance. Encouraging couples to seek counseling or therapy when faced with challenges can provide a neutral space for communication and support.

Example: Highlight success stories of couples who have sought therapy to strengthen their relationship and provide resources for finding qualified professionals.

8. Planning for the Future:

Discussing future plans is vital for any couple. Addressing long-term goals, such as career transitions or family planning, helps both partners feel secure and invested in the relationship.

Example: Offer advice on creating a shared vision for the future, navigating career changes, and making joint decisions that align with both partners’ aspirations.


Successfully managing relationships while working in the adult industry requires a combination of open communication, trust-building, and a proactive approach to addressing challenges. By fostering understanding, establishing clear boundaries, and seeking support when needed, couples can build strong, resilient relationships that thrive despite the unique demands of the profession. Remember, every relationship is unique, and adapting these strategies to suit individual needs is key to a fulfilling and supportive partnership.

Understanding and Navigating the World of Online Adult Content Comments Off on Understanding and Navigating the World of Online Adult Content 250

The internet has transformed the way we access and consume information, including adult content. Navigating this vast and often complex digital landscape requires understanding, responsibility, and respect. In this guide, we’ll explore key aspects of online adult content, helping you make informed choices while ensuring a safe and enjoyable experience.

1. Diverse Platforms and Formats:

Online adult content is not confined to a single platform or format. From websites and streaming services to interactive content, understanding the variety available is essential.

Example: Differentiate between mainstream adult websites, premium subscription services, and emerging interactive platforms, providing a glimpse into the diverse options.

2. Privacy and Security:

Respecting privacy is crucial when engaging with adult content online. This includes understanding the importance of secure connections, anonymous browsing, and being mindful of personal data.

Example: Provide tips on using virtual private networks (VPNs), secure payment methods, and the importance of reading privacy policies on adult websites.

3. Responsible Consumption:

Consuming adult content responsibly involves being aware of ethical considerations. This includes consent, avoiding illegal content, and understanding the potential impact on relationships.

Example: Share stories or case studies illustrating the importance of responsible consumption and the potential consequences of engaging with non-consensual or illegal content.

4. Age Verification and Restrictions:

Most countries have regulations regarding the access to adult content, often requiring age verification. Understanding and complying with these regulations is vital for legal and ethical reasons.

Example: Provide a step-by-step guide on age verification processes on different platforms and emphasize the importance of adherence to legal requirements.

5. Impact on Mental Health:

Consuming adult content can have varying effects on mental health. It’s crucial to be aware of the potential impact and seek support if needed.

Example: Discuss the potential consequences of excessive consumption, addiction, or unrealistic expectations, and provide resources for mental health support.

6. Consent and Ethical Production:

Understanding the concept of consent extends to the production of adult content. Ethical consumption involves supporting platforms and creators that prioritize the well-being and consent of performers.

Example: Showcase initiatives or platforms that prioritize ethical production, emphasize performer rights, and provide fair compensation.

7. Balancing Fantasies with Reality:

Distinguishing between fantasy and reality is important when consuming adult content. Developing a healthy perspective on sexuality involves recognizing the difference between scripted entertainment and real-life relationships.

Example: Share anecdotes or expert opinions on how to maintain a balanced view of sexuality and relationships while consuming adult content.

8. Community and Education:

Online communities and educational resources play a role in promoting healthy discussions about adult content. Engaging with like-minded individuals and staying informed contributes to a positive online experience.

Example: Highlight reputable online forums or educational platforms where individuals can learn more about various aspects of adult content, share experiences, and ask questions.


Navigating the world of online adult content requires a balanced approach, combining awareness, responsibility, and respect. By understanding the diverse landscape, prioritizing privacy and security, and promoting ethical consumption, individuals can ensure a positive and consensual online experience. Remember, responsible engagement contributes to a healthier digital environment for both consumers and content creators alike.

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