We’re sex experts – five easy ways to boost your bedroom antics today and there’s no dressing up involved 0 49

CAN you imagine 400,000 people tuning in as you get intimate? Well, that’s what Lacey and Flynn do.

The couple share their best advice on how to have a better sex life . . .

Olivia WestLacey and Flynn have sex in front of thousands[/caption] Olivia WestThe couple share their best advice on how to have a better sex life . . .[/caption]

SAY GOODBYE TO SHAME

START with an exercise and write down what your parents told you about sex growing up.

A lot of shame can come from being told it is bad so it’s important to pinpoint where your fears came from.

Then write down the best and worst sexual experience you’ve ever had. What made them good or bad? Was it the sex itself or how it made you feel afterwards?

A little detective work goes a long way to understanding our emotions and our shame around sex.

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WORK OUT WHAT YOU REALLY WANT

WHY do you want to make love? How do you want to feel afterwards? Are there ways you could make yourself more present in the moment?

Your intention paves the direction for the sex.

Are you doing it to become more connected to your partner or do you want to unlock new pleasure zones?

Work out what kind of sex you want first before you jump into bed.

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TALK DIRTY

THIS might blow your mind but you’re allowed to talk during a romp.

There’s this idea that talking might make it less sexy. But that’s wrong.

You can speak up and it can be incredibly hot to do so. It doesn’t make you weird, it makes you authentic and confident.

Ask your partner what they want and don’t be afraid to say what you like and dislike.

Open up to each other about your deepest desires.

DON’T FOCUS ON THE BIG O

ARE you in a situation where your goal is to have an orgasm? Don’t fall into this trap because pleasure is a journey not a destination.

We want you to be in it for the whole experience and enjoy every touch, stroke, kiss . . . 

You need to reframe what pleasure is and enjoy the moment, don’t focus on the end goal.

Contrary to common belief, great sex doesn’t have to end with an orgasm.

PLAN SEX IN ADVANCE

YOU don’t need to be “in the mood” to have sex. You can have sex when you’re grumpy, sad, annoyed, happy – it doesn’t matter.

If you want good sex you need to have it even when you don’t fancy it. Get organised and approach your lovemaking like every other social activity in your life.

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Plan sex, write it in your calendar and show up even when you’re not feeling it.

You’ll maintain a great relationship with your partner and have a healthy, connected sex life.

For more advice and a free class see laceyandflynn.com

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My bitter ex told lies to my friends about my ‘small manhood’ after I dumped her 0 47

DEAR DEIDRE: MY ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger.

She never complained when we were together, but last week she told the girls in our group that being with me was “like kissing a soggy lettuce leaf” and that she “literally didn’t feel a thing when we were having sex” because I’m so small.

My ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger

I’m 25 and she’s 24. I think part of it is jealousy.

She knows a couple of the other girls fancy me and I think she’s trying to sabotage any chance I have with them.

Not that I’m even planning anything.

She’s so insecure and has a vicious tongue on her.

I’m tempted to let each of her so-called friends know what she really says about them in private.

Even her best friend gets a nasty critique every time she posts anything on Instagram.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Her top is either too short, or her hair looks like wire, or her laugh is fake . . . it goes on and on.

I don’t regret splitting up with her but this last trick has really infuriated me.

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I caught my husband snogging my sister – how am I meant to trust him again?

DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t let yourself stoop to her level.

You can make it clear she is lying without playing her game, which would only escalate tensions and reflect badly on you.

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You could maybe reply with: “Let’s just say she never complained when we were together and nor have any of my other exes.”

Your friends will soon see her behaviour for what it is – jealous insecurity.

My partner said he was on a work trip – but he was actually getting married and on his honeymoon 0 30

DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner said he was on a work trip two months ago, but he had actually got married and been on honeymoon.

Our relationship had become a bit predictable, but we still had regular sex and nice days out with our two young sons.

My partner lied about his work trip – he was really on his HONEYMOON

I’m 32 and he’s 37. Our sons are four and two.

When he returned from his “work trip” he blamed me for his cheating, saying I had let myself go and didn’t pay him enough attention.

He then told me he’d “traded up” for a better model. It didn’t stop there.

He said that his wife, who is 27, is absolutely stunning and makes him feel special.

Apparently this woman was a barmaid he’d met on a golf trip and they had been seeing each other for six months.

He told me all this, then marched upstairs and packed his games console and his clothes and drove off out of my life.

The thing is, we always talked about getting married but when we had kids there always seemed something better to spend our money on.

Mutual friends have told me he has moved into a new-build home on the other side of our small town and his wife has plenty of family money.

My sons are really missing him and I don’t even know how I feel.

Sometimes when he comes to visit the boys I beg him to come home.

But other times I’m so angry with him, I refuse to let him in.

Now he is accusing me of stopping him from seeing his children.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Surely he can’t just show up when he likes?

I’m a mess and need to start getting a grip for the kids’ sake.

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DEAR DEIDRE

I want to sleep with my hot neighbour, but I'm worried about our age gap

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My wife thinks it's unreasonable to ask her to wash before wild sex

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My boyfriend's completely gone off sex since I gained weight

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My neighbour borrowed my shed and refused to pay me for it

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DEAR DEIDRE

I caught my husband snogging my sister – how am I meant to trust him again?

DEIDRE SAYS: I’m so sorry your partner ended your relationship in such a cruel way.

This man sounds selfish and immature, and quite frankly the way he has treated you is emotionally abusive.

It won’t feel like it now, but you really are better off without him.

He is behaving like he still lives in your home, by just turning up unannounced.

Tell him firmly that you would encourage a good relationship between him and your sons but he can only collect them with prior arrangement.

Start to put down your boundaries.

I’m sending you my support pack When Parents Fall Out, which you could pass to him to help explain why you need to co-operate for the future wellbeing of your children.

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Give yourself time and be kind to yourself. He put you down constantly, now you can start to build up your confidence.

I’d recommend seeing a counsellor to help you with this betrayal and am sending you my Counselling support pack.

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