I’m a sex historian – here’s how missionary position became so popular and bizarre old cure for ‘excessive masturbation’ Comments Off on I’m a sex historian – here’s how missionary position became so popular and bizarre old cure for ‘excessive masturbation’ 381

EVER wondered why missionary is the most popular sex position – or if people back in the day did it as much as we do?

According to sex historian Kate Lister, any suggestion that our ancestors were “prudish” in the bedroom couldn’t be further from the truth.

Kate Lister is a sex historian, author and lecturer

In fact, she reckons the regular romping in Bridgerton wouldn’t have come as any kind of surprise for those living in 1813.

From the origins of sex toys to ancient aphrodisiacs, here Kate offers a potted guide of bonking through the ages – and the origins of some of our modern day kinks.

SEX TOYS

Humans have been creating toys to enhance their sex lives as long as long as there have been sex lives. 

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We have found tortoise shell sex toys from China in the Qing Dynasty and ivory dildos that were hidden in an 18th century French convent.

One of the oldest dildos ever discovered is the ‘Hohle Fels phallus’. 

It was discovered in the Hohle Fels Cave in Germany in 2005 and was carbon dated to somewhere between 26,000 and 30,000 years old. 

The jury is still out on whether this was a sex toy or some kind of devotional object, but either way, it is a very old penis.

@tubingen universityOne of the oldest dildos ever discovered is the ‘Hohle Fels phallus’[/caption]

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BEANS AN ‘APHRODISIAC’

Despite the popular image of damsels in distress and chastity belts, sex in the Middle Ages was surprisingly progressive. 

They didn’t always get their facts right though. 

For one thing, there was a belief that erections were caused when the penis filled with air. 

As a result, beans were thought to be an aphrodisiac.

BDSM

wikiwandThis fresco inside the Tomb of the Whipping shows two men flagellating a woman[/caption]

Some of the oldest evidence of BDSM can be found in ‘The Tomb of the Whipping’, an Etruscan tomb in Lazio, Italy. 

It dates to around 490 BCE and gets its name from the fresco on the wall that shows two men who are flogging a woman as they have sex with her.

In the 1800s there were establishments known to cater to kink, such as Theresa Berkley’s brothel in Hallam Street, London.

According to Henry Spencer Ashbee, Theresa’s “instruments of torture were more numerous than those of any other governess”.

Her brothel was the place to go where anyone “with plenty of money, could be birched, whipped, fustigated, scourged, needle-pricked, half-hung, holly-brushed, furze-brushed, butcher-brushed, stinging-nettled, curry-combed, phlebotomized, and tortured till he had a belly full”.

BIRTH CONTROL

Sex in the past was a fun, naughty, and enjoyable experience.

Pig gut condoms were being used in the 1500s, and there is evidence of contraception being used all the way back to ancient Egypt.

One method used back then was a vaginal pessary made from crocodile dung and honey (which may well have been effective in stopping people have sex).

The first recorded vasectomy was actually performed on a dog by a man called Sir Ashley Cooper in 1823.

By 1899 it was being used on human males as a ‘cure’ for excessive masturbation. 

It would take another 50 years or so for vasectomies to be offered as a method of birth control.

TOP POSITION

The missionary position has always been incredibly popular, but it took on new and religious significance when the early Catholic Church started to teach that this was the only acceptable position and that anything else was sinful. 

Thomas Aquinas, a 13th century Italian theologian, for example, believed that intercourse in “unnatural” ways was a crime against nature.

HIGH AND MIGHTY

Marilyn Monroe once said, “I don’t know who invented high heels, but women owe him a lot.”

So it may come as a surprise to learn that the first high heel shoes were worn by blokes.

Heels were sported by the Persian cavalry in the 10th century to keep their shoes in their stirrup. 

By the 17th century, the heeled shoe had become the must-have fashion item for any dashing man about town. 

Women didn’t start wearing them until the 18th century.

LGBTQ

BBCSuranne Jones played Anne Lister in the BBC drama Gentleman Jack[/caption]

Same sex desire and gender fluidity is found all throughout history, but some of the most important documents in queer history are the diaries of Anne Lister. 

She spent most the early 19th century seducing the women of Halifax and recording her conquests in a secret code in her many diaries. 

Her neighbours were well aware of her exploits and nicknamed her Gentleman Jack and Captain Tom – Tom being a slang word for a lesbian at the time. 

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While Anne was misbehaving up north, London was famously filled with gay brothels, known as ‘Molly Houses’, that were subjected to repeated raids by various vice squads.

Kate’s podcast Betwixt the Sheets: The History of Sex, Scandal & Society is available to listen to now.

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Managing Relationships While Working in the Adult Industry Comments Off on Managing Relationships While Working in the Adult Industry 258

Navigating romantic relationships can be complex, and this complexity often intensifies when one or both partners are involved in the adult industry. In this guide, we’ll explore practical strategies for maintaining healthy relationships, fostering open communication, and addressing challenges that may arise when one’s profession involves adult entertainment.

1. Open Communication:

Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship, especially when working in the adult industry. Establishing open and honest communication channels helps build trust and understanding between partners.

Example: Provide communication tips, such as setting aside dedicated time for discussions, creating a judgment-free zone, and actively listening to each other’s concerns.

2. Establishing Boundaries:

Clearly defining and respecting boundaries is crucial for both partners. Discussing comfort levels, expectations, and limits ensures that both individuals feel secure in the relationship.

Example: Offer guidance on how to have constructive conversations about boundaries, emphasizing the importance of mutual consent and compromise.

3. Building a Support System:

Developing a robust support system is essential. This includes friends, family, or colleagues who understand and respect the nature of the profession and can offer support during challenging times.

Example: Share stories of couples who have successfully built strong support systems and provide tips on how to nurture these networks.

4. Trust and Transparency:

Trust is a cornerstone of any relationship but becomes even more critical when working in the adult industry. Being transparent about one’s work and addressing concerns promptly helps foster trust between partners.

Example: Illustrate the positive outcomes of trust-building actions, such as being open about work schedules, discussing potential challenges, and offering reassurance.

5. Educating Partners:

Sometimes, misunderstandings arise due to lack of knowledge. Educating partners about the adult industry, its dynamics, and dispelling common myths can promote a better understanding of the profession.

Example: Create a guide for individuals to share with their partners, explaining the realities of the adult industry, emphasizing the consensual nature of the work, and addressing misconceptions.

6. Coping with External Judgments:

Working in the adult industry often comes with societal stigma. Discuss strategies for coping with external judgments and maintaining a strong sense of self-worth within the relationship.

Example: Share empowering stories of individuals who have successfully navigated societal stigma, emphasizing self-love and resilience.

7. Seeking Professional Guidance:

Relationships can benefit from professional guidance. Encouraging couples to seek counseling or therapy when faced with challenges can provide a neutral space for communication and support.

Example: Highlight success stories of couples who have sought therapy to strengthen their relationship and provide resources for finding qualified professionals.

8. Planning for the Future:

Discussing future plans is vital for any couple. Addressing long-term goals, such as career transitions or family planning, helps both partners feel secure and invested in the relationship.

Example: Offer advice on creating a shared vision for the future, navigating career changes, and making joint decisions that align with both partners’ aspirations.

Conclusion:

Successfully managing relationships while working in the adult industry requires a combination of open communication, trust-building, and a proactive approach to addressing challenges. By fostering understanding, establishing clear boundaries, and seeking support when needed, couples can build strong, resilient relationships that thrive despite the unique demands of the profession. Remember, every relationship is unique, and adapting these strategies to suit individual needs is key to a fulfilling and supportive partnership.

Understanding and Navigating the World of Online Adult Content Comments Off on Understanding and Navigating the World of Online Adult Content 250

The internet has transformed the way we access and consume information, including adult content. Navigating this vast and often complex digital landscape requires understanding, responsibility, and respect. In this guide, we’ll explore key aspects of online adult content, helping you make informed choices while ensuring a safe and enjoyable experience.

1. Diverse Platforms and Formats:

Online adult content is not confined to a single platform or format. From websites and streaming services to interactive content, understanding the variety available is essential.

Example: Differentiate between mainstream adult websites, premium subscription services, and emerging interactive platforms, providing a glimpse into the diverse options.

2. Privacy and Security:

Respecting privacy is crucial when engaging with adult content online. This includes understanding the importance of secure connections, anonymous browsing, and being mindful of personal data.

Example: Provide tips on using virtual private networks (VPNs), secure payment methods, and the importance of reading privacy policies on adult websites.

3. Responsible Consumption:

Consuming adult content responsibly involves being aware of ethical considerations. This includes consent, avoiding illegal content, and understanding the potential impact on relationships.

Example: Share stories or case studies illustrating the importance of responsible consumption and the potential consequences of engaging with non-consensual or illegal content.

4. Age Verification and Restrictions:

Most countries have regulations regarding the access to adult content, often requiring age verification. Understanding and complying with these regulations is vital for legal and ethical reasons.

Example: Provide a step-by-step guide on age verification processes on different platforms and emphasize the importance of adherence to legal requirements.

5. Impact on Mental Health:

Consuming adult content can have varying effects on mental health. It’s crucial to be aware of the potential impact and seek support if needed.

Example: Discuss the potential consequences of excessive consumption, addiction, or unrealistic expectations, and provide resources for mental health support.

6. Consent and Ethical Production:

Understanding the concept of consent extends to the production of adult content. Ethical consumption involves supporting platforms and creators that prioritize the well-being and consent of performers.

Example: Showcase initiatives or platforms that prioritize ethical production, emphasize performer rights, and provide fair compensation.

7. Balancing Fantasies with Reality:

Distinguishing between fantasy and reality is important when consuming adult content. Developing a healthy perspective on sexuality involves recognizing the difference between scripted entertainment and real-life relationships.

Example: Share anecdotes or expert opinions on how to maintain a balanced view of sexuality and relationships while consuming adult content.

8. Community and Education:

Online communities and educational resources play a role in promoting healthy discussions about adult content. Engaging with like-minded individuals and staying informed contributes to a positive online experience.

Example: Highlight reputable online forums or educational platforms where individuals can learn more about various aspects of adult content, share experiences, and ask questions.

Conclusion:

Navigating the world of online adult content requires a balanced approach, combining awareness, responsibility, and respect. By understanding the diverse landscape, prioritizing privacy and security, and promoting ethical consumption, individuals can ensure a positive and consensual online experience. Remember, responsible engagement contributes to a healthier digital environment for both consumers and content creators alike.

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