I love having sex with toyboys, it’s electrifying for older women – but I have a strict age limit, says Ulrika Jonsson Comments Off on I love having sex with toyboys, it’s electrifying for older women – but I have a strict age limit, says Ulrika Jonsson 524

YOU’VE got to hand it to Madonna.

Although she may now have called time on her three-year relationship with her toyboy boyfriend Ahlamalik Williams — 35 years her junior — she can’t half snare the young ’uns. 

BackGridMadonna with her toyboy ex-boyfriend Ahlamalik Williams — 35 years her junior[/caption] Thandiwe Newton was pictured kissing new man LonrRex Thandiwe, 49 recently split from her husband before being pictured with her new 25-year-old toyboyGetty

Granted, her biological age and the age of her ever-evolving face might be two different things, but you have to give credit to this magnificent 63-year-old. 

And now there is actress Thandiwe Newton, who at 49 has been pictured with her new boyfriend, musician Lonr, just half her age at 25.

I am quite in awe of these women. They are proving to be the exception to the rule that women in mid-life are over the hill, good for nothing.

For decades, nay, centuries, society has accepted ageing men walking arm in arm with girlfriends young enough to be their daughters, even if we may raise half an eyebrow.


Madonna, 63, splits from toyboy Ahlamalik Williams, 28, after three years


Thandiwe Newton, 49, seen snogging 25-year-old musician after marriage split

When a woman is the older one (and by quite some distance), the world has tended to find it unsettling, awkward, embarrassing, shameful and perhaps even plain wrong.

But the times, they are a changin’ and wrong it is no more. 

Older women are out there rocking it, doing it for themselves. And increasingly they are doing so very proudly with a much younger catch. And I’m all for it.

Like Thandiwe, I had come out of a long marriage and while I was not intentionally seeking younger men, they simply happened.

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In many respects, for want of a better analogy, it’s rather like you have been driven around in an old banger for years and suddenly you get the chance to sit behind the wheel of a shiny, bright, new sports car. 

‘There is often a greater stamina to contend with’

A car that goes at a different speed, is an unexpected divergence, responds with a new energy and movement, and fundamentally has the ability to make you feel like a completely different woman.

Because no matter how much we may have loved our old banger (and I have absolutely no judgment of Thandiwe’s ex-husband), it always runs the risk of becoming a bit stale, a bit same old, same old.

And before you know it, boredom has started to corrode the bodywork and predictability has rusted the gears.

In my case it was, initially at least, wholly accidental. Promise, guv.

I simply forgot to set an age range when I started out on my dating app journey just over a year ago and, as a result, I couldn’t understand why all these young men seemed to be coming my way. 

I’m now 54, and I figured that, with more years behind me than in front, I should just go with the flow and see where it took me.

And it’s been quite the rollercoaster.

I suppose 95 per cent of the men I have dated in the past year have been in their mid-twenties. 

For some bizarre reason — perhaps some pretension of still clinging on to a morsel of morality — I made the arbitrary decision to not date anyone who was younger than my oldest son, who has since turned 27. 

To that end, the youngest encounter I had last year was 26. (See, I do have some morals.) 

When you date someone this young, it means you are different generations. 

You have different attitudes and perspectives. You are at different life stages. But if, like me, you have been stuck on autopilot for some years, it could be just the shake-up you need. 

I don’t hold with all the suggestions that not being able to share the same cultural and historical facets of life makes the adventure negative and fruitless. It can be a real joy to hear new music and learn about new experiences. I embrace variations and anomalies. That’s what life’s about, surely. 

Younger men come with a bit more invention, a bit more variety and openness. There is often a greater stamina to contend with too.

The conversation can be fresh and interesting because your mindsets are not the same — your lives may be poles apart but there is something joyfully incongruous about that.

And talking about poles . . .  

While it would be wholly unjust of me to make a sweeping statement that the sex is superior (I can confirm it definitely is not guaranteed to be so), it does present itself as a considerably more varied experience. 

Younger men come with a bit more invention, a bit more variety and openness. There is often a greater stamina to contend with too — perhaps something that eludes many in long-term, staid relationships. 

Most young men have not had the chance to get to that stage yet, so their tank is still full and their imagination is going at full throttle. 

That can be electrifying for a woman over 50 who thought her life might be more or less over.

And do not think all young guys are hulking stallions. They come in all shapes and sizes, but it’s about that fresh, alluring connection.

Many of them admit to loving the idea of an older woman because she’s more likely to be independent, less needy and, quite possibly, knows what she wants. Perhaps that is our appeal.

Of course, with all these positives, there are also negatives. 

As a very general rule, younger men tend to be more inconsistent and unreliable.

 They live in their own world — they often have few, if any, responsibilities so they are naturally the most important person in their life. 

There is an underlying selfishness and ego which inhabits them. They will have plenty of time for obligation, liability and dependability as they age, so why would they have much understanding of that now?

I have had a few dates with men closer in age to me — say, just the ten years younger — and admittedly they were not entirely without benevolence. But I’m afraid I would have needed to employ a porter to help carry all the baggage some of them came with. 

This may sound unkind, but in my opinion women are much better at moving forward in life with their baggage than men.

Too simplistic? Not at all. 

Sometimes mature men’s circumspection, hesitation and bruised past made dating them a bit like walking through molasses on a scorching day.

And it was a shame, because I rather thought it would be a better relationship investment to have someone my age-ish by my side.

But while I, too, have baggage, I try not to let it stop me cracking on with life. 

Everyone pretends that age is just a number and doesn’t matter. But deep down we do have unfair, socially constructed morals about what age differences are permissible in relationships and which are not. 

Although I may not necessarily be in pursuit of anything specific on the romantic front (choosing instead to let it find me), I still think my odds are better stacked in favour of younger guys. 

The energy and the excitement, for one, can give you a whole new lease of life. 

I like the idea of continuing to grow as a person and that is only going to happen if I am learning new tricks. 

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I don’t want to stand still. I have no intention of taking it easy, retiring into a greying background of decrepit middle age. I want freshness, vitality and energy around me.

Anything else would be just like getting back into that old banger. 

I’m now 54, and I figured that, with more years behind me than in front, I should just go with the flow and see where it took meThe Sun

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Managing Relationships While Working in the Adult Industry Comments Off on Managing Relationships While Working in the Adult Industry 299

Navigating romantic relationships can be complex, and this complexity often intensifies when one or both partners are involved in the adult industry. In this guide, we’ll explore practical strategies for maintaining healthy relationships, fostering open communication, and addressing challenges that may arise when one’s profession involves adult entertainment.

1. Open Communication:

Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship, especially when working in the adult industry. Establishing open and honest communication channels helps build trust and understanding between partners.

Example: Provide communication tips, such as setting aside dedicated time for discussions, creating a judgment-free zone, and actively listening to each other’s concerns.

2. Establishing Boundaries:

Clearly defining and respecting boundaries is crucial for both partners. Discussing comfort levels, expectations, and limits ensures that both individuals feel secure in the relationship.

Example: Offer guidance on how to have constructive conversations about boundaries, emphasizing the importance of mutual consent and compromise.

3. Building a Support System:

Developing a robust support system is essential. This includes friends, family, or colleagues who understand and respect the nature of the profession and can offer support during challenging times.

Example: Share stories of couples who have successfully built strong support systems and provide tips on how to nurture these networks.

4. Trust and Transparency:

Trust is a cornerstone of any relationship but becomes even more critical when working in the adult industry. Being transparent about one’s work and addressing concerns promptly helps foster trust between partners.

Example: Illustrate the positive outcomes of trust-building actions, such as being open about work schedules, discussing potential challenges, and offering reassurance.

5. Educating Partners:

Sometimes, misunderstandings arise due to lack of knowledge. Educating partners about the adult industry, its dynamics, and dispelling common myths can promote a better understanding of the profession.

Example: Create a guide for individuals to share with their partners, explaining the realities of the adult industry, emphasizing the consensual nature of the work, and addressing misconceptions.

6. Coping with External Judgments:

Working in the adult industry often comes with societal stigma. Discuss strategies for coping with external judgments and maintaining a strong sense of self-worth within the relationship.

Example: Share empowering stories of individuals who have successfully navigated societal stigma, emphasizing self-love and resilience.

7. Seeking Professional Guidance:

Relationships can benefit from professional guidance. Encouraging couples to seek counseling or therapy when faced with challenges can provide a neutral space for communication and support.

Example: Highlight success stories of couples who have sought therapy to strengthen their relationship and provide resources for finding qualified professionals.

8. Planning for the Future:

Discussing future plans is vital for any couple. Addressing long-term goals, such as career transitions or family planning, helps both partners feel secure and invested in the relationship.

Example: Offer advice on creating a shared vision for the future, navigating career changes, and making joint decisions that align with both partners’ aspirations.


Successfully managing relationships while working in the adult industry requires a combination of open communication, trust-building, and a proactive approach to addressing challenges. By fostering understanding, establishing clear boundaries, and seeking support when needed, couples can build strong, resilient relationships that thrive despite the unique demands of the profession. Remember, every relationship is unique, and adapting these strategies to suit individual needs is key to a fulfilling and supportive partnership.

Understanding and Navigating the World of Online Adult Content Comments Off on Understanding and Navigating the World of Online Adult Content 285

The internet has transformed the way we access and consume information, including adult content. Navigating this vast and often complex digital landscape requires understanding, responsibility, and respect. In this guide, we’ll explore key aspects of online adult content, helping you make informed choices while ensuring a safe and enjoyable experience.

1. Diverse Platforms and Formats:

Online adult content is not confined to a single platform or format. From websites and streaming services to interactive content, understanding the variety available is essential.

Example: Differentiate between mainstream adult websites, premium subscription services, and emerging interactive platforms, providing a glimpse into the diverse options.

2. Privacy and Security:

Respecting privacy is crucial when engaging with adult content online. This includes understanding the importance of secure connections, anonymous browsing, and being mindful of personal data.

Example: Provide tips on using virtual private networks (VPNs), secure payment methods, and the importance of reading privacy policies on adult websites.

3. Responsible Consumption:

Consuming adult content responsibly involves being aware of ethical considerations. This includes consent, avoiding illegal content, and understanding the potential impact on relationships.

Example: Share stories or case studies illustrating the importance of responsible consumption and the potential consequences of engaging with non-consensual or illegal content.

4. Age Verification and Restrictions:

Most countries have regulations regarding the access to adult content, often requiring age verification. Understanding and complying with these regulations is vital for legal and ethical reasons.

Example: Provide a step-by-step guide on age verification processes on different platforms and emphasize the importance of adherence to legal requirements.

5. Impact on Mental Health:

Consuming adult content can have varying effects on mental health. It’s crucial to be aware of the potential impact and seek support if needed.

Example: Discuss the potential consequences of excessive consumption, addiction, or unrealistic expectations, and provide resources for mental health support.

6. Consent and Ethical Production:

Understanding the concept of consent extends to the production of adult content. Ethical consumption involves supporting platforms and creators that prioritize the well-being and consent of performers.

Example: Showcase initiatives or platforms that prioritize ethical production, emphasize performer rights, and provide fair compensation.

7. Balancing Fantasies with Reality:

Distinguishing between fantasy and reality is important when consuming adult content. Developing a healthy perspective on sexuality involves recognizing the difference between scripted entertainment and real-life relationships.

Example: Share anecdotes or expert opinions on how to maintain a balanced view of sexuality and relationships while consuming adult content.

8. Community and Education:

Online communities and educational resources play a role in promoting healthy discussions about adult content. Engaging with like-minded individuals and staying informed contributes to a positive online experience.

Example: Highlight reputable online forums or educational platforms where individuals can learn more about various aspects of adult content, share experiences, and ask questions.


Navigating the world of online adult content requires a balanced approach, combining awareness, responsibility, and respect. By understanding the diverse landscape, prioritizing privacy and security, and promoting ethical consumption, individuals can ensure a positive and consensual online experience. Remember, responsible engagement contributes to a healthier digital environment for both consumers and content creators alike.

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