AGE is just a number and whether you’re in your twenties, seventies or somewhere in between, it’s no barrier to great loving, says sex expert Stella Ralfini.
The author believes all women should orgasm every day — and it’s the secret to looking and feeling younger.
Age is no barrier to great sex, says Stella Ralfini Sex expert Stella Ralfini says all women should orgasm every day
Even so, a poll by TV Channel W revealed that the older we get, the likelier we are to exaggerate about how much sex we are having — with the over-65s telling the biggest fibs.
But whether it’s a once-a-week quickie or sex every six months, today Stella shares her tips on how to have great lovemaking in every decade of life.
- Stella’s books Three Faces Of Sex and Sensual Sorcery are available on Amazon
20s: Make yourself a sex bucket list
THESE are the years when we have beautiful bodies, but are so concerned with imperfections we get hung up about showing them off.
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Your twenties are great for sexual exploration and experimenting.
Now is the best time to be open about turn-ons and turn-offs and show lovers how to help you reach genuine orgasm.
Use your best years to discover yourself and don’t get hung up on spectator sex — where you fake it to please your man.
Most of us are forging our careers in these years and if you can nail great sex, research shows you’ll get that promotion.
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HOT TIP: Create a sex bucket list and tick things off that you’ve achieved, from watching porn to going to your first sex party to acting out sexual fantasies.
Be brave and daring and make the most of these wild years.
Eighty per cent of women don’t orgasm through penetrative sex alone, according to research from the Family Planning Association.
So don’t be afraid to give your partner clear instructions about what you like in bed — and what you don’t like.
30s: Feeling stressed? Why not try tantric…
RESEARCH shows that these are the years where our sex life can suffer the most.
Life becomes a bit more complicated as it is often the time when we find a life partner and settle down, get married and start a family.
People’s priorities change and you may not have the freedom you had in your wild twenties — but you can still have a great sex life.
A fairly common issue is mismatched libidos, where one partner feels that they are not getting enough sex.
It can be hard feeling sexy when you’re a stressed-out parent but don’t lose yourself or deprive your partner.
You can still keep the flames of passion burning by remembering the importance of regularly touching your partner and trying alternative forms of pleasure when you’re not in the mood for penetrative sex.”
Life becomes a bit more complicated as it is often the time when we find a life partner and settle down, get married and start a family. People’s priorities change and you may not have the freedom you had in your wild twenties — but you can still have a great sex life.
HOT TIP: Don’t yearn for the just-met sex you had with your partner, embrace the change. It may sound like a real passion killer but schedule in sex.
That way you both know you’ve got something to look forward to — a bit of adult fun every week where you don’t talk about work, bills or kids.
Drop off the children at a friend’s or relative’s house for a while and enjoy one another.
These are the years that are great for discovering tantra. Lying naked next to one another in bed and kissing each other from top to toe is a great way to build intimacy and incorporate a bit of tantric sex.
40s: Stay in good shape to boost libido
THESE are the years when you really come into your own. You’re hopefully more financially stable and in a good place in your career.
If you have a family your kids are likely to be a bit older and less reliant on you so you can indulge in that naughty weekend away.
Personally, I loved my 40s. It was when I really discovered what I loved in bed and l had the confidence to ask for it.
HOT TIP: Your body might not move in the same way as it did in your twenties but if you get serious about your health you can be just as fit — if not fitter.
Research shows that those who work out have higher sex drives than those who don’t, so make sure you exercise regularly to pump up endorphins that help bump up production of the brain’s feel-good neurotransmitters, which encourage a healthy sexual appetite.
Keep everything healthy down below by doing pelvic-floor exercises daily. These exercises will strengthen your pelvic floor, which means better sex.
Imagine you’re sitting on a marble and tighten your pelvic floor muscles as if you’re lifting it up.
Try it for three seconds then relax for three.
If you have a family your kids are likely to be a bit older and less reliant on you so you can indulge in that naughty weekend away. Personally, I loved my 40s. It was when I really discovered what I loved in bed and l had the confidence to ask for it.
50s+: Change position. Keep romance alive
IF you’re going through the menopause it doesn’t mean your sex life has to end.
Oestrogen levels fall which means you might experience a lower libido. Many women experience dryness, too. Low testosterone in men usually means their sex drive declines too, and can prove an awkward period for both sexes.
This is where knowledge of tantric sex is useful since it is an issue that should be discussed so neither partner feels guilty about their changing attitude to sex. Sex can get better with a bit of work and the right mentality. You can have sizzling sex in your fifties through to your seventies.
HOT TIP: There are some brilliant lubricants such as coconut oil, and nearly any lubricant with glycerine is good.
Changing sex positions helps too. Stop thinking on top. Side “spooning” positions are more comfortable and the male can lift your body for take off.
You could change the time of day you have sex to whenever you have most energy.
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If you’re no longer into penetrative sex, ignite your senses by watching porn or reading an erotic novel or listening to a audio book.
Talk to your partner about any desires or concerns you have, and if you are in a long-term relationship, don’t forget the romance.
Drop off the children at a friend’s or relative’s house for a while and enjoy one another If you get serious about your health in your 40s you can be just as fit — if not fitter