I’m a 74-year-old sexpert & think orgasms are the secret to looking young – how to have great sex no matter your age Comments Off on I’m a 74-year-old sexpert & think orgasms are the secret to looking young – how to have great sex no matter your age 306

AGE is just a number and whether you’re in your twenties, seventies or somewhere in between, it’s no barrier to great loving, says sex expert Stella Ralfini.

The author believes all women should orgasm every day — and it’s the secret to looking and feeling younger.

Age is no barrier to great sex, says Stella Ralfini Sex expert Stella Ralfini says all women should orgasm every day

Even so, a poll by TV Channel W revealed that the older we get, the likelier we are to exaggerate about how much sex we are having — with the over-65s telling the biggest fibs.

But whether it’s a once-a-week quickie or sex every six months, today Stella shares her tips on how to have great lovemaking in every decade of life.

  • Stella’s books Three Faces Of Sex and Sensual Sorcery are available on Amazon

20s: Make yourself a sex bucket list

THESE are the years when we have beautiful bodies, but are so concerned with imperfections we get hung up about showing them off.

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Your twenties are great for sexual exploration and experimenting.

Now is the best time to be open about turn-ons and turn-offs and show lovers how to help you reach genuine orgasm.

Use your best years to discover yourself and don’t get hung up on spectator sex — where you fake it to please your man.

Most of us are forging our careers in these years and if you can nail great sex, research shows you’ll get that promotion.

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HOT TIP: Create a sex bucket list and tick things off that you’ve achieved, from watching porn to going to your first sex party to acting out sexual fantasies.

Be brave and daring and make the most of these wild years.

Eighty per cent of women don’t orgasm through penetrative sex alone, according to research from the Family Planning Association.

So don’t be afraid to give your partner clear instructions about what you like in bed — and what you don’t like.

30s: Feeling stressed? Why not try tantric…

RESEARCH shows that these are the years where our sex life can suffer the most.

Life becomes a bit more complicated as it is often the time when we find a life partner and settle down, get married and start a family.

People’s priorities change and you may not have the freedom you had in your wild twenties — but you can still have a great sex life.

A fairly common issue is mismatched libidos, where one partner feels that they are not getting enough sex.

It can be hard feeling sexy when you’re a stressed-out parent but don’t lose yourself or deprive your partner.

You can still keep the flames of passion burning by remembering the importance of regularly touching your partner and trying alternative forms of pleasure when you’re not in the mood for penetrative sex.”

Life becomes a bit more complicated as it is often the time when we find a life partner and settle down, get married and start a family. People’s priorities change and you may not have the freedom you had in your wild twenties — but you can still have a great sex life.

HOT TIP: Don’t yearn for the just-met sex you had with your partner, embrace the change. It may sound like a real passion killer but schedule in sex.

That way you both know you’ve got something to look forward to — a bit of adult fun every week where you don’t talk about work, bills or kids.

Drop off the children at a friend’s or relative’s house for a while and enjoy one another.

These are the years that are great for discovering tantra. Lying naked next to one another in bed and kissing each other from top to toe is a great way to build intimacy and incorporate a bit of tantric sex.

40s: Stay in good shape to boost libido

THESE are the years when you really come into your own. You’re hopefully more financially stable and in a good place in your career.

If you have a family your kids are likely to be a bit older and less reliant on you so you can indulge in that naughty weekend away.

Personally, I loved my 40s. It was when I really discovered what I loved in bed and l had the confidence to ask for it.

HOT TIP: Your body might not move in the same way as it did in your twenties but if you get serious about your health you can be just as fit — if not fitter.

Research shows that those who work out have higher sex drives than those who don’t, so make sure you exercise regularly to pump up endorphins that help bump up production of the brain’s feel-good neurotransmitters, which encourage a healthy sexual appetite.

Keep everything healthy down below by doing pelvic-floor exercises daily. These exercises will strengthen your pelvic floor, which means better sex.

Imagine you’re sitting on a marble and tighten your pelvic floor muscles as if you’re lifting it up.

Try it for three seconds then relax for three.

If you have a family your kids are likely to be a bit older and less reliant on you so you can indulge in that naughty weekend away. Personally, I loved my 40s. It was when I really discovered what I loved in bed and l had the confidence to ask for it.

50s+: Change position. Keep romance alive

IF you’re going through the menopause it doesn’t mean your sex life has to end.

Oestrogen levels fall which means you might experience a lower libido. Many women experience dryness, too. Low testosterone in men usually means their sex drive declines too, and can prove an awkward period for both sexes.

This is where knowledge of tantric sex is useful since it is an issue that should be discussed so neither partner feels guilty about their changing attitude to sex. Sex can get better with a bit of work and the right mentality. You can have sizzling sex in your fifties through to your seventies.

HOT TIP: There are some brilliant lubricants such as coconut oil, and nearly any lubricant with glycerine is good.

Changing sex positions helps too. Stop thinking on top. Side “spooning” positions are more comfortable and the male can lift your body for take off.

You could change the time of day you have sex to whenever you have most energy.

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If you’re no longer into penetrative sex, ignite your senses by watching porn or reading an erotic novel or listening to a audio book.

Talk to your partner about any desires or concerns you have, and if you are in a long-term relationship, don’t forget the romance.

Drop off the children at a friend’s or relative’s house for a while and enjoy one another If you get serious about your health in your 40s you can be just as fit — if not fitter

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Managing Relationships While Working in the Adult Industry Comments Off on Managing Relationships While Working in the Adult Industry 186

Navigating romantic relationships can be complex, and this complexity often intensifies when one or both partners are involved in the adult industry. In this guide, we’ll explore practical strategies for maintaining healthy relationships, fostering open communication, and addressing challenges that may arise when one’s profession involves adult entertainment.

1. Open Communication:

Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship, especially when working in the adult industry. Establishing open and honest communication channels helps build trust and understanding between partners.

Example: Provide communication tips, such as setting aside dedicated time for discussions, creating a judgment-free zone, and actively listening to each other’s concerns.

2. Establishing Boundaries:

Clearly defining and respecting boundaries is crucial for both partners. Discussing comfort levels, expectations, and limits ensures that both individuals feel secure in the relationship.

Example: Offer guidance on how to have constructive conversations about boundaries, emphasizing the importance of mutual consent and compromise.

3. Building a Support System:

Developing a robust support system is essential. This includes friends, family, or colleagues who understand and respect the nature of the profession and can offer support during challenging times.

Example: Share stories of couples who have successfully built strong support systems and provide tips on how to nurture these networks.

4. Trust and Transparency:

Trust is a cornerstone of any relationship but becomes even more critical when working in the adult industry. Being transparent about one’s work and addressing concerns promptly helps foster trust between partners.

Example: Illustrate the positive outcomes of trust-building actions, such as being open about work schedules, discussing potential challenges, and offering reassurance.

5. Educating Partners:

Sometimes, misunderstandings arise due to lack of knowledge. Educating partners about the adult industry, its dynamics, and dispelling common myths can promote a better understanding of the profession.

Example: Create a guide for individuals to share with their partners, explaining the realities of the adult industry, emphasizing the consensual nature of the work, and addressing misconceptions.

6. Coping with External Judgments:

Working in the adult industry often comes with societal stigma. Discuss strategies for coping with external judgments and maintaining a strong sense of self-worth within the relationship.

Example: Share empowering stories of individuals who have successfully navigated societal stigma, emphasizing self-love and resilience.

7. Seeking Professional Guidance:

Relationships can benefit from professional guidance. Encouraging couples to seek counseling or therapy when faced with challenges can provide a neutral space for communication and support.

Example: Highlight success stories of couples who have sought therapy to strengthen their relationship and provide resources for finding qualified professionals.

8. Planning for the Future:

Discussing future plans is vital for any couple. Addressing long-term goals, such as career transitions or family planning, helps both partners feel secure and invested in the relationship.

Example: Offer advice on creating a shared vision for the future, navigating career changes, and making joint decisions that align with both partners’ aspirations.


Successfully managing relationships while working in the adult industry requires a combination of open communication, trust-building, and a proactive approach to addressing challenges. By fostering understanding, establishing clear boundaries, and seeking support when needed, couples can build strong, resilient relationships that thrive despite the unique demands of the profession. Remember, every relationship is unique, and adapting these strategies to suit individual needs is key to a fulfilling and supportive partnership.

Understanding and Navigating the World of Online Adult Content Comments Off on Understanding and Navigating the World of Online Adult Content 181

The internet has transformed the way we access and consume information, including adult content. Navigating this vast and often complex digital landscape requires understanding, responsibility, and respect. In this guide, we’ll explore key aspects of online adult content, helping you make informed choices while ensuring a safe and enjoyable experience.

1. Diverse Platforms and Formats:

Online adult content is not confined to a single platform or format. From websites and streaming services to interactive content, understanding the variety available is essential.

Example: Differentiate between mainstream adult websites, premium subscription services, and emerging interactive platforms, providing a glimpse into the diverse options.

2. Privacy and Security:

Respecting privacy is crucial when engaging with adult content online. This includes understanding the importance of secure connections, anonymous browsing, and being mindful of personal data.

Example: Provide tips on using virtual private networks (VPNs), secure payment methods, and the importance of reading privacy policies on adult websites.

3. Responsible Consumption:

Consuming adult content responsibly involves being aware of ethical considerations. This includes consent, avoiding illegal content, and understanding the potential impact on relationships.

Example: Share stories or case studies illustrating the importance of responsible consumption and the potential consequences of engaging with non-consensual or illegal content.

4. Age Verification and Restrictions:

Most countries have regulations regarding the access to adult content, often requiring age verification. Understanding and complying with these regulations is vital for legal and ethical reasons.

Example: Provide a step-by-step guide on age verification processes on different platforms and emphasize the importance of adherence to legal requirements.

5. Impact on Mental Health:

Consuming adult content can have varying effects on mental health. It’s crucial to be aware of the potential impact and seek support if needed.

Example: Discuss the potential consequences of excessive consumption, addiction, or unrealistic expectations, and provide resources for mental health support.

6. Consent and Ethical Production:

Understanding the concept of consent extends to the production of adult content. Ethical consumption involves supporting platforms and creators that prioritize the well-being and consent of performers.

Example: Showcase initiatives or platforms that prioritize ethical production, emphasize performer rights, and provide fair compensation.

7. Balancing Fantasies with Reality:

Distinguishing between fantasy and reality is important when consuming adult content. Developing a healthy perspective on sexuality involves recognizing the difference between scripted entertainment and real-life relationships.

Example: Share anecdotes or expert opinions on how to maintain a balanced view of sexuality and relationships while consuming adult content.

8. Community and Education:

Online communities and educational resources play a role in promoting healthy discussions about adult content. Engaging with like-minded individuals and staying informed contributes to a positive online experience.

Example: Highlight reputable online forums or educational platforms where individuals can learn more about various aspects of adult content, share experiences, and ask questions.


Navigating the world of online adult content requires a balanced approach, combining awareness, responsibility, and respect. By understanding the diverse landscape, prioritizing privacy and security, and promoting ethical consumption, individuals can ensure a positive and consensual online experience. Remember, responsible engagement contributes to a healthier digital environment for both consumers and content creators alike.

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