The 20 sex hacks you need to get back in the sack this spring 0 94

MAKE this a bonk holiday to remember with these sexy hacks to get you back in the sack.

A recent study found most us are having sex less and more of us are experiencing sexual dysfunction.

ShutterstockMake this a bonk holiday to remember with these sexy hacks to get you back in the sack[/caption]

But never fear, there are ways to put an end to the slump in your sex life.

From sleeping to swimming, Katy Docherty brings you 20 simple ways to thrust the lust back into your life.

1. Go to bed . . . . and actually sleep

Is your wife or girlfriend always complaining they are too tired for sex? Let them get 40 winks.

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The Journal Of Sexual Medicine found that the longer women sleep, the better they enjoy sex.

So a lie-in could ramp up the desire in your relationship.

2. Start swimming

A few lengths in the local pool can do wonders for sex satisfaction.

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Breath work helps with controlling your rhythm and makes for a better lover, say sex therapists.

A British Heart Foundation survey in 2015 found swimmers make the best lovers.

GettyA few lengths in the local pool can do wonders for sex satisfaction[/caption]

3. Eat oysters

They really are an aphrodisiac.

The slimy sea snack are high in arginine, an amino acid that regulates blood flow and is an ingredient in Viagra.

The protein-rich substance helps to treat low testosterone.

Other foods high in arginine are fish and lean proteins such as chicken.

4. Talk dirty

Chatting about sex with your partner outside the bedroom leads to more satisfaction in it.

Sharing fantasies means you both become more adventurous in the sack.

The University of Kentucky in the US found that couples who talk about sex are happier with their lovemaking.

The 3,000 participants in the study also said kinkier sex made them more satisfied.

5. Stop being spontaneous

Spontaneity can make for a great sex life, but real life can spoil the moment.

To foster intimacy with your partner, make time to get it on.

Find times and days that work for you both – with the occasional unplanned flight of passion.

This way you’ll not face frustration when your partner turns you down to pull a late shift at work.

6. Drink coffee

Hot drinks raise your body temperature and make others feel warmer towards you, a 2008 study found.

Participants consistently felt closer to a person holding a hot coffee rather than an iced one.

Getty – ContributorThe washing might need doing and the bins taking out, but sex should come first[/caption]

7. Put sex top of your to-do list

The washing might need doing and the bins taking out, but sex should come first.

Psychologist Dr John Gottman says his research found that couples who say they have great sex lives put sex before chores.

A study at the University of California in Los Angeles showed that people who view intimacy as an optional extra when they have time typically have bad sex.

8. Get high

Booze can lead to a lack of sensitivity, and as a result, a lacklustre time in bed.

But scientists at Thomas Jefferson University in Philidelphia found that taking CBD, or cannabidiol – an active substance found in cannabis – helps to ease stress and anxiety, including performance anxiety, and increases blood flow to promote the body’s own natural lubrication.

9. Make eye contact

Couples who look each other in the eye have stronger relationships and it can increase intimacy too, according to a 1989 study in academic publication the Journal Of Research In Personality.

Staring into your partner’s eyes for a minute or two starts to produce love chemical phenylethylamine.

This natural amphetamine can increase sensations of pleasure too.

10. Be touchy

A brush of the arm or a light touch on the back can make partners more open to some loving.

A French study from 2006 found women were more likely to give their number to a man who touched their arm than those who didn’t.

Just make sure the touch is welcomed, otherwise it’s a bit creepy.

11. Pucker up

Not surprisingly, kissing your partner more leads to a healthier and happier sex life.

A study in scientific publication the Journal Of Sex And Marital

Therapy asked couples how often they kissed before and during love-making.

They found smooching outside the bedroom led to more sex.

And couples who kissed more during sex had more orgasms.

12. Go solo

Sex therapists recommend self love to find out what turns you on and what doesn’t.

Invite your partner to watch and show them what gets your juices going.

GettyContesting anything from a triathlon to a game of Monopoly can give your love life a boost[/caption]

13. Get competitive

Contesting anything from a triathlon to a game of Monopoly can give your love life a boost.

It doesn’t matter if you win or lose, just entering a contest can boost testosterone production by 24 per cent.

A study in academic journal Evolution And Human Behavior found this increases libido in women.

14. Be socksy

A Dutch study asked couples if they wore socks to bed.

Eighty per cent of those who did told the University of Groningen researchers that they reached orgasm during sex.

Scientists think the success rate is due to a warmer body temperature meaning better blood flow to the nether regions.

15. See the funny side

Sex doesn’t have to be all sultry looks and passionate moments.

Women who sleep with funny fellas have better orgasms, according to a study in the journal Evolutionary Psychology.

It also found that funny people are deemed more attractive – presumably getting them laid more often too.

GettyA Dutch study found that eighty per cent of those who kept their socks on reached orgasm during sex[/caption]

16. Get your blood pumping

Tricking your body into thinking it is aroused is easy after a run or a spin class.

If you see your partner while your heart rate is still high, your brain thinks you are aroused.

The effect is called the “transfer of excitation” by scientists.

17. Lust, not love

If having a one-night stand seems exciting, the reality could actually live up to the expectation.

Scientists at Liberos, a sex research lab at the University of California, Los Angeles, found that subjects who weren’t in a relationship had better sex than couples did.

They likened the experience to meeting an exciting new partner on a dating site.

18. Be a modern couple

Women who pair off with wimpy guys have better sex.

A study in sexology journal the Archives Of Sexual Behavior found that women who believe their partner is dominant or selfish have fewer orgasms.

Conversely, women who wear the trousers are much better satisfied sexually.

19. Get the house red

Chianti, malbec or a merlot have been proven to give couples the horn.

Although alcohol can actually decrease sensation where it counts, Italian scientists – of course – found the best tipple before a night of passion is a glass of red wine.

They found compounds in the drink heighten sensation, especially for women.

20. De-stress

If you want to score big-time, run a nice bath, pour yourself a drink, whack on an Enya CD and relax.

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Getting stressed is the worst enemy of your sex drive, as the stress hormone cortisol can reduce testosterone levels in both men and women, leading to a lack of passion.

Worrying too much can not only affect your nervous system but also means you are not mentally attuned for sex.

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My bitter ex told lies to my friends about my ‘small manhood’ after I dumped her 0 40

DEAR DEIDRE: MY ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger.

She never complained when we were together, but last week she told the girls in our group that being with me was “like kissing a soggy lettuce leaf” and that she “literally didn’t feel a thing when we were having sex” because I’m so small.

My ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger

I’m 25 and she’s 24. I think part of it is jealousy.

She knows a couple of the other girls fancy me and I think she’s trying to sabotage any chance I have with them.

Not that I’m even planning anything.

She’s so insecure and has a vicious tongue on her.

I’m tempted to let each of her so-called friends know what she really says about them in private.

Even her best friend gets a nasty critique every time she posts anything on Instagram.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Her top is either too short, or her hair looks like wire, or her laugh is fake . . . it goes on and on.

I don’t regret splitting up with her but this last trick has really infuriated me.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t let yourself stoop to her level.

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You could maybe reply with: “Let’s just say she never complained when we were together and nor have any of my other exes.”

Your friends will soon see her behaviour for what it is – jealous insecurity.

My partner said he was on a work trip – but he was actually getting married and on his honeymoon 0 28

DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner said he was on a work trip two months ago, but he had actually got married and been on honeymoon.

Our relationship had become a bit predictable, but we still had regular sex and nice days out with our two young sons.

My partner lied about his work trip – he was really on his HONEYMOON

I’m 32 and he’s 37. Our sons are four and two.

When he returned from his “work trip” he blamed me for his cheating, saying I had let myself go and didn’t pay him enough attention.

He then told me he’d “traded up” for a better model. It didn’t stop there.

He said that his wife, who is 27, is absolutely stunning and makes him feel special.

Apparently this woman was a barmaid he’d met on a golf trip and they had been seeing each other for six months.

He told me all this, then marched upstairs and packed his games console and his clothes and drove off out of my life.

The thing is, we always talked about getting married but when we had kids there always seemed something better to spend our money on.

Mutual friends have told me he has moved into a new-build home on the other side of our small town and his wife has plenty of family money.

My sons are really missing him and I don’t even know how I feel.

Sometimes when he comes to visit the boys I beg him to come home.

But other times I’m so angry with him, I refuse to let him in.

Now he is accusing me of stopping him from seeing his children.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Surely he can’t just show up when he likes?

I’m a mess and need to start getting a grip for the kids’ sake.

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DEIDRE SAYS: I’m so sorry your partner ended your relationship in such a cruel way.

This man sounds selfish and immature, and quite frankly the way he has treated you is emotionally abusive.

It won’t feel like it now, but you really are better off without him.

He is behaving like he still lives in your home, by just turning up unannounced.

Tell him firmly that you would encourage a good relationship between him and your sons but he can only collect them with prior arrangement.

Start to put down your boundaries.

I’m sending you my support pack When Parents Fall Out, which you could pass to him to help explain why you need to co-operate for the future wellbeing of your children.

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Give yourself time and be kind to yourself. He put you down constantly, now you can start to build up your confidence.

I’d recommend seeing a counsellor to help you with this betrayal and am sending you my Counselling support pack.

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