I’m a sexpert – men often worry about their size but bigger is NOT always better – here’s why Comments Off on I’m a sexpert – men often worry about their size but bigger is NOT always better – here’s why 445

THE bigger the better has long been a motto in almost all aspects of human life – sex included.

Constantly exposed to the images on mainstream porn, most will associate a larger penis with a more pleasurable ride – but is it always the case?

GettyThough not always, a bigger penis can sometimes even lead to more painful sex, Charlene said[/caption] Charlene works with clients struggling to have orgasms, erection issues, painful sex and much moreCharlene Douglas

Fabulous spoke to Charlene Douglas, a sex-therapy counsellor and intimacy coach, to find out if the size of your partner’s equipment really does matter.

Charlene, who has also appeared on Married At First Sight UK, as well as E4’s The Sex Clinic, deals with many sex-related issues.

But among the most common complaints – low sex-drive, erectile dysfunction and struggling with reaching orgasm – there have also been cases where the male clients think the length or width of their penis is not adequate.

”The thing is,” Charlene said, ”it’s so embarrassing for men if they believe they have a smaller penis – sometimes it even takes a while before they bring it up with me.”

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There is a plethora of excuses men will use in such scenarios, but the one Charlene hears oftentimes is ”I don’t think I sexually satisfy her because she’s used to bigger”.

”They’re not saying they have a smaller penis – they’re going to say their partner is used to a bigger size.

”And from then I can sort of work out what it is that they’re saying.”

For the most part, the stigma around a man’s penis stem from porn where their partner – or partners – will have the ride of a lifetime only when the equipment is larger than the average (6.36 inches in the UK).

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However, whilst mainstream porn does play a huge role in how men view themselves, Charlene pointed out that there are also a number of other things that affect this.

”There are some very subtle messages that we get growing up that, you know, a big penis equals a bigger man, more masculine, more attractive to women.


”You even get young boys comparing their size or they will have this conversation of ‘Oh, their penis is so big’.

”Yes, porn contributes to it, but I also think sex education as well to some extent,” the expert said, explaining that the current curriculum ”will feed the narrative that it’s all about penetrative sex”.

What then happens, Charlene added, is that when women start to have sex, they will begin to assume that it’s only natural for them to want a larger penis – ”cause that’s what we’re told”.

But in reality, a big penis – as pleasurable as many might believe it to be – comes with many risks.

”If it’s too big, it can be quite painful,” said the sex therapist.

”Particularly if the man doesn’t know how to give any foreplay to prepare the vagina.

”Then what you find is that they’re squashing it in because it pleases them and it’s sexually thrilling for them but actually the woman’s in a lot of pain.”

Because there is such a a big focus on a man’s penis, people don’t recognise there are other things you can do when having sex which are more thrilling for their partner than penetrative sex.

We are taught that penetration is the king.”

Charlene Douglassex and intimacy Expert

In heterosexual relationship, she pointed out, we know that women usually don’t orgasm through penetrative sex alone – clitoral stimulation is required.

‘’If he [a man with a smaller penis] knew how to use his tongue to connect with his partner, then he would probably sexually please the partner more than a man with a bigger penis.

‘’We are taught that penetration is the king.

”But if you think about it, in the vagina there aren’t that many sexual nerve endings.”

For those concerned with the size of their equipment, there are a variety of products in the market to help them – but only temporarily.

”Ultimately, the message is that there isn’t anything that can give you a bigger penis.”

Although Charlene did realise it’s easier said than done but it all comes down to one thing – acceptance.

”There are a host of other sexual practices that are just as – or even if not more – thrilling than penetrative sex.

”It’s such a complicated question because I think it [the size of penis] matters for some people – and I don’t want to take away from those people where it does matter.

”But I think once you understand the variety of sexual options available, your focus then won’t be on penetrative sex.”

Charlene Douglas is the UK’s leading sex and intimacy expert.

She has featured on E4’s Married at First Sight UK and will be returning for series 2 later on this year.

Charlene has also appeared on The Sex Clinic, Good Morning Britain and TOWIE.

Her purpose is to help others to enjoy the very essence of who they are and to experience a deeper level of intimacy with themselves and others. 

Charlene runs her own private practice where she works with both individuals and couples to help them to learn, understand and develop a better, more fulfilling sexual relationship.

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She works with clients struggling to have orgasms, erection issues, painful sex and much more.

Her work helps clients to unpack what is happening in their mind, that causes their body to respond the way that it does to sex and intimacy.

GettyUltimately, Charlene pointed out, it all comes down to realising there is more than just penetrative sex (picture posed by models)[/caption]

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Managing Relationships While Working in the Adult Industry Comments Off on Managing Relationships While Working in the Adult Industry 258

Navigating romantic relationships can be complex, and this complexity often intensifies when one or both partners are involved in the adult industry. In this guide, we’ll explore practical strategies for maintaining healthy relationships, fostering open communication, and addressing challenges that may arise when one’s profession involves adult entertainment.

1. Open Communication:

Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship, especially when working in the adult industry. Establishing open and honest communication channels helps build trust and understanding between partners.

Example: Provide communication tips, such as setting aside dedicated time for discussions, creating a judgment-free zone, and actively listening to each other’s concerns.

2. Establishing Boundaries:

Clearly defining and respecting boundaries is crucial for both partners. Discussing comfort levels, expectations, and limits ensures that both individuals feel secure in the relationship.

Example: Offer guidance on how to have constructive conversations about boundaries, emphasizing the importance of mutual consent and compromise.

3. Building a Support System:

Developing a robust support system is essential. This includes friends, family, or colleagues who understand and respect the nature of the profession and can offer support during challenging times.

Example: Share stories of couples who have successfully built strong support systems and provide tips on how to nurture these networks.

4. Trust and Transparency:

Trust is a cornerstone of any relationship but becomes even more critical when working in the adult industry. Being transparent about one’s work and addressing concerns promptly helps foster trust between partners.

Example: Illustrate the positive outcomes of trust-building actions, such as being open about work schedules, discussing potential challenges, and offering reassurance.

5. Educating Partners:

Sometimes, misunderstandings arise due to lack of knowledge. Educating partners about the adult industry, its dynamics, and dispelling common myths can promote a better understanding of the profession.

Example: Create a guide for individuals to share with their partners, explaining the realities of the adult industry, emphasizing the consensual nature of the work, and addressing misconceptions.

6. Coping with External Judgments:

Working in the adult industry often comes with societal stigma. Discuss strategies for coping with external judgments and maintaining a strong sense of self-worth within the relationship.

Example: Share empowering stories of individuals who have successfully navigated societal stigma, emphasizing self-love and resilience.

7. Seeking Professional Guidance:

Relationships can benefit from professional guidance. Encouraging couples to seek counseling or therapy when faced with challenges can provide a neutral space for communication and support.

Example: Highlight success stories of couples who have sought therapy to strengthen their relationship and provide resources for finding qualified professionals.

8. Planning for the Future:

Discussing future plans is vital for any couple. Addressing long-term goals, such as career transitions or family planning, helps both partners feel secure and invested in the relationship.

Example: Offer advice on creating a shared vision for the future, navigating career changes, and making joint decisions that align with both partners’ aspirations.


Successfully managing relationships while working in the adult industry requires a combination of open communication, trust-building, and a proactive approach to addressing challenges. By fostering understanding, establishing clear boundaries, and seeking support when needed, couples can build strong, resilient relationships that thrive despite the unique demands of the profession. Remember, every relationship is unique, and adapting these strategies to suit individual needs is key to a fulfilling and supportive partnership.

Understanding and Navigating the World of Online Adult Content Comments Off on Understanding and Navigating the World of Online Adult Content 250

The internet has transformed the way we access and consume information, including adult content. Navigating this vast and often complex digital landscape requires understanding, responsibility, and respect. In this guide, we’ll explore key aspects of online adult content, helping you make informed choices while ensuring a safe and enjoyable experience.

1. Diverse Platforms and Formats:

Online adult content is not confined to a single platform or format. From websites and streaming services to interactive content, understanding the variety available is essential.

Example: Differentiate between mainstream adult websites, premium subscription services, and emerging interactive platforms, providing a glimpse into the diverse options.

2. Privacy and Security:

Respecting privacy is crucial when engaging with adult content online. This includes understanding the importance of secure connections, anonymous browsing, and being mindful of personal data.

Example: Provide tips on using virtual private networks (VPNs), secure payment methods, and the importance of reading privacy policies on adult websites.

3. Responsible Consumption:

Consuming adult content responsibly involves being aware of ethical considerations. This includes consent, avoiding illegal content, and understanding the potential impact on relationships.

Example: Share stories or case studies illustrating the importance of responsible consumption and the potential consequences of engaging with non-consensual or illegal content.

4. Age Verification and Restrictions:

Most countries have regulations regarding the access to adult content, often requiring age verification. Understanding and complying with these regulations is vital for legal and ethical reasons.

Example: Provide a step-by-step guide on age verification processes on different platforms and emphasize the importance of adherence to legal requirements.

5. Impact on Mental Health:

Consuming adult content can have varying effects on mental health. It’s crucial to be aware of the potential impact and seek support if needed.

Example: Discuss the potential consequences of excessive consumption, addiction, or unrealistic expectations, and provide resources for mental health support.

6. Consent and Ethical Production:

Understanding the concept of consent extends to the production of adult content. Ethical consumption involves supporting platforms and creators that prioritize the well-being and consent of performers.

Example: Showcase initiatives or platforms that prioritize ethical production, emphasize performer rights, and provide fair compensation.

7. Balancing Fantasies with Reality:

Distinguishing between fantasy and reality is important when consuming adult content. Developing a healthy perspective on sexuality involves recognizing the difference between scripted entertainment and real-life relationships.

Example: Share anecdotes or expert opinions on how to maintain a balanced view of sexuality and relationships while consuming adult content.

8. Community and Education:

Online communities and educational resources play a role in promoting healthy discussions about adult content. Engaging with like-minded individuals and staying informed contributes to a positive online experience.

Example: Highlight reputable online forums or educational platforms where individuals can learn more about various aspects of adult content, share experiences, and ask questions.


Navigating the world of online adult content requires a balanced approach, combining awareness, responsibility, and respect. By understanding the diverse landscape, prioritizing privacy and security, and promoting ethical consumption, individuals can ensure a positive and consensual online experience. Remember, responsible engagement contributes to a healthier digital environment for both consumers and content creators alike.

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