I’m a psychologist – this is what sex dreams about your boss, neighbour or ex really mean 0 297

YOU might think dreaming about getting off with your boss or someone senior at work means you want to be in their bedroom.

But it’s more likely you actually want to join them in the boardroom.

Psychologist Ian Wallace says: ‘People get terribly excited and confused about sex dreams’

Psychologist Ian Wallace, author of Decode Your Dreams, says: “People get terribly excited and confused about sex dreams.

“But really it is a reflection on what you are most excited about in your life and how you commit to challenging your energies into that passion.

“A dream is the ultimate self-portrait, or selfie.”

This week it emerged a third of us dream about bedding our neighbours.

Ian tells Yasmin Harisha what sexy dreams about different people mean.

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Your Ex

YOU’RE ON THE VERGE OF REPEATING AN OLD MISTAKE: Just when you think they are out of your life for good, they come crawling back – in the middle of your dream.

But before you make any hasty decisions to go back there, Ian says: “This is a very common dream and it doesn’t mean you should start texting them when you are drunk, or decide to get back with them.

GettyIan says: ‘If you are in a relationship, it is also warning you not to repeat the past relationship patterns with your current romantic partner’[/caption]

“It’s telling you that you need to become more aware and to let go of old behaviours that no longer serve you.

“It could be that you’re realising you have the choice to do things the way you want to and stand on your own two feet.

“If you are in a relationship, it is also warning you not to repeat the past relationship patterns with your current romantic partner.”

Your boss


A weird, sexualised dream about a manager at work who you really DO NOT fancy. Or do you?

GettyIan says: ‘Bosses symbolise power and the ability to use that power’[/caption]

According to Ian, you probably don’t.

He says: “Bosses symbolise power and the ability to use that power.

“It indicates that you need to do some self-promotion in your waking life.

“Rather than always feeling that you need permission from other people to work on your passions, this is telling you that you need to promote your needs and ambitions.”

So rather than wanting to be with your boss in the bedroom, you want to be with him or her in the boardroom and you are telling yourself you need to push yourself to get there.

Your partner

YOU’VE GOT HIDDEN TALENTS YOU NEED TO EMBRACE: Dreaming about sex with your partner can never be a bad thing.

But what if you are being much more experimental than you are in real life.

GettyIan says: ‘Sex with your partner is about becoming really comfortable with your creative potential’[/caption]

Does that mean something is wrong in your relationship? Thankfully, no.

Ian says: “Sex with your partner is about becoming really comfortable with your creative potential.

“If you have got a talent or skill and you know how to do something, you need to become far more comfortable in doing that.

“It’s about understanding your sense of identity and your ability to be true to yourself, so you can behave the way you want in waking life, by also doing things in the way that suits you best.”

That can mean in the bedroom too. Time to spice things up?

Your neighbour

YOU NEED TO PUSH OUT OF YOUR RUT: You have borrowed the odd corkscrew in desperate times and maybe he has fed your cat when you’ve been away.

But now your unassuming neighbour is invading your dream. Why is that?

GettyIan says: ‘We all have big dreams and ambitions. It’s about realising there are smaller ambitions that are easier to get to – something closer to home, so to speak’[/caption]

Ian says: “This is about becoming more aware of yourself and your personal development.

“We all have big dreams and ambitions. It’s about realising there are smaller ambitions that are easier to get to – something closer to home, so to speak.

“Are you feeling trapped in your 9-5 office job? Maybe this is a sign to change careers into something you always wanted to do.

“If what you really want to do is become a skydiving instructor, what’s stopping you from taking small steps to get there?”

Your best friend

STOP RELYING ON OTHERS SO MUCH: Being intimate with your best friend in a dream – whatever their gender – may feel strange.

But don’t panic.

GettyIan says: ‘Instead of relying on your friend with that quality, you need to use that characteristic yourself’[/caption]

Ian says: “We create all the characters in the dream and we use those characters to symbolise particular qualities and characteristics.

“Say your friend is really good in social situations and they manage to put everyone at ease.

“That’s the quality you are identifying with.

“Whatever quality you associate with them is the quality you now have the opportunity to use to solve a particular problem in your own life.

“If they are funny, then you might need to use your sense of humour in waking life.

“Instead of relying on your friend with that quality, you need to use that characteristic yourself.”

Your old school pal

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE OLD YOU? Sometimes the most unexpected people appear in intimate dreams, such as an old school friend who you haven’t seen in donkey’s years.

Before you start hitting them up on Facebook for a date, Ian says, it could mean something altogether different.

GettySometimes the most unexpected people appear in intimate dreams, such as an old school friend who you haven’t seen in donkey’s years[/caption]

He says: “This is about becoming acquainted with part of your ambition you have probably forgotten about . . .  or you haven’t forgotten about but it is just laying dormant.

“It’s about reawakening that potential quality, like sport or singing, you associate with your school friend and that will help you rediscover that ambition.”

Similarly, Ian says that dreaming about an old schoolteacher may mean that you have the ability to learn and develop a new skill – whatever your age.

Someone you hate

DON’T BE SUCH A PEOPLE PLEASER: You despise this person. But last night you were sneaking around with them while you slept.

Rather than being about the person, this is all about your inner demons.

GettyIan says: ‘What you need to do is love yourself, love what you are doing and be able to channel your passion rather than just being self-critical’[/caption]

Ian says: “This is an opportunity to connect with an aspect of your potential you would normally try to suppress. It is about something in your life that you might be avoiding.

“Maybe it’s a situation you feel will make other people unhappy and might reject you.”

What would the person you hate do? Would they have the same inner turmoil over the issue?

Ian adds: “What you need to do is love yourself, love what you are doing and be able to channel your passion rather than just being self-critical.”

Your opposite ‘type’

CHANGE YOUR TACK TO GET WHAT YOU WANT: Most of us have a type and don’t give others a chance.

That is until it comes to our dreams, where we might have wild sex with someone who looks totally different.

GettyMost of us have a type and don’t give others a chance[/caption]

Ian says: “Dreams reveal a huge part of ourselves we don’t really know.

“This makes you realise that to understand a certain life situation, you may need to do the opposite to what you’d usually do.

“What usually stops us from doing this is other people judging us, but having the courage to do something out of character might get the outcome you want.”

Similarly, if you normally go for one gender but then have a dream about sex with another, it might mean that you need to change your tack when it comes to solving a problem.

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Managing Relationships While Working in the Adult Industry 0 130

Navigating romantic relationships can be complex, and this complexity often intensifies when one or both partners are involved in the adult industry. In this guide, we’ll explore practical strategies for maintaining healthy relationships, fostering open communication, and addressing challenges that may arise when one’s profession involves adult entertainment.

1. Open Communication:

Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship, especially when working in the adult industry. Establishing open and honest communication channels helps build trust and understanding between partners.

Example: Provide communication tips, such as setting aside dedicated time for discussions, creating a judgment-free zone, and actively listening to each other’s concerns.

2. Establishing Boundaries:

Clearly defining and respecting boundaries is crucial for both partners. Discussing comfort levels, expectations, and limits ensures that both individuals feel secure in the relationship.

Example: Offer guidance on how to have constructive conversations about boundaries, emphasizing the importance of mutual consent and compromise.

3. Building a Support System:

Developing a robust support system is essential. This includes friends, family, or colleagues who understand and respect the nature of the profession and can offer support during challenging times.

Example: Share stories of couples who have successfully built strong support systems and provide tips on how to nurture these networks.

4. Trust and Transparency:

Trust is a cornerstone of any relationship but becomes even more critical when working in the adult industry. Being transparent about one’s work and addressing concerns promptly helps foster trust between partners.

Example: Illustrate the positive outcomes of trust-building actions, such as being open about work schedules, discussing potential challenges, and offering reassurance.

5. Educating Partners:

Sometimes, misunderstandings arise due to lack of knowledge. Educating partners about the adult industry, its dynamics, and dispelling common myths can promote a better understanding of the profession.

Example: Create a guide for individuals to share with their partners, explaining the realities of the adult industry, emphasizing the consensual nature of the work, and addressing misconceptions.

6. Coping with External Judgments:

Working in the adult industry often comes with societal stigma. Discuss strategies for coping with external judgments and maintaining a strong sense of self-worth within the relationship.

Example: Share empowering stories of individuals who have successfully navigated societal stigma, emphasizing self-love and resilience.

7. Seeking Professional Guidance:

Relationships can benefit from professional guidance. Encouraging couples to seek counseling or therapy when faced with challenges can provide a neutral space for communication and support.

Example: Highlight success stories of couples who have sought therapy to strengthen their relationship and provide resources for finding qualified professionals.

8. Planning for the Future:

Discussing future plans is vital for any couple. Addressing long-term goals, such as career transitions or family planning, helps both partners feel secure and invested in the relationship.

Example: Offer advice on creating a shared vision for the future, navigating career changes, and making joint decisions that align with both partners’ aspirations.


Successfully managing relationships while working in the adult industry requires a combination of open communication, trust-building, and a proactive approach to addressing challenges. By fostering understanding, establishing clear boundaries, and seeking support when needed, couples can build strong, resilient relationships that thrive despite the unique demands of the profession. Remember, every relationship is unique, and adapting these strategies to suit individual needs is key to a fulfilling and supportive partnership.

Understanding and Navigating the World of Online Adult Content 0 139

The internet has transformed the way we access and consume information, including adult content. Navigating this vast and often complex digital landscape requires understanding, responsibility, and respect. In this guide, we’ll explore key aspects of online adult content, helping you make informed choices while ensuring a safe and enjoyable experience.

1. Diverse Platforms and Formats:

Online adult content is not confined to a single platform or format. From websites and streaming services to interactive content, understanding the variety available is essential.

Example: Differentiate between mainstream adult websites, premium subscription services, and emerging interactive platforms, providing a glimpse into the diverse options.

2. Privacy and Security:

Respecting privacy is crucial when engaging with adult content online. This includes understanding the importance of secure connections, anonymous browsing, and being mindful of personal data.

Example: Provide tips on using virtual private networks (VPNs), secure payment methods, and the importance of reading privacy policies on adult websites.

3. Responsible Consumption:

Consuming adult content responsibly involves being aware of ethical considerations. This includes consent, avoiding illegal content, and understanding the potential impact on relationships.

Example: Share stories or case studies illustrating the importance of responsible consumption and the potential consequences of engaging with non-consensual or illegal content.

4. Age Verification and Restrictions:

Most countries have regulations regarding the access to adult content, often requiring age verification. Understanding and complying with these regulations is vital for legal and ethical reasons.

Example: Provide a step-by-step guide on age verification processes on different platforms and emphasize the importance of adherence to legal requirements.

5. Impact on Mental Health:

Consuming adult content can have varying effects on mental health. It’s crucial to be aware of the potential impact and seek support if needed.

Example: Discuss the potential consequences of excessive consumption, addiction, or unrealistic expectations, and provide resources for mental health support.

6. Consent and Ethical Production:

Understanding the concept of consent extends to the production of adult content. Ethical consumption involves supporting platforms and creators that prioritize the well-being and consent of performers.

Example: Showcase initiatives or platforms that prioritize ethical production, emphasize performer rights, and provide fair compensation.

7. Balancing Fantasies with Reality:

Distinguishing between fantasy and reality is important when consuming adult content. Developing a healthy perspective on sexuality involves recognizing the difference between scripted entertainment and real-life relationships.

Example: Share anecdotes or expert opinions on how to maintain a balanced view of sexuality and relationships while consuming adult content.

8. Community and Education:

Online communities and educational resources play a role in promoting healthy discussions about adult content. Engaging with like-minded individuals and staying informed contributes to a positive online experience.

Example: Highlight reputable online forums or educational platforms where individuals can learn more about various aspects of adult content, share experiences, and ask questions.


Navigating the world of online adult content requires a balanced approach, combining awareness, responsibility, and respect. By understanding the diverse landscape, prioritizing privacy and security, and promoting ethical consumption, individuals can ensure a positive and consensual online experience. Remember, responsible engagement contributes to a healthier digital environment for both consumers and content creators alike.

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