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I’m a psychologist – this is what sex dreams about your boss, neighbour or ex really mean 0 249

Stanley Myrick

YOU might think dreaming about getting off with your boss or someone senior at work means you want to be in their bedroom.

But it’s more likely you actually want to join them in the boardroom.

Psychologist Ian Wallace says: ‘People get terribly excited and confused about sex dreams’

Psychologist Ian Wallace, author of Decode Your Dreams, says: “People get terribly excited and confused about sex dreams.

“But really it is a reflection on what you are most excited about in your life and how you commit to challenging your energies into that passion.

“A dream is the ultimate self-portrait, or selfie.”

This week it emerged a third of us dream about bedding our neighbours.

Ian tells Yasmin Harisha what sexy dreams about different people mean.

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Your Ex

YOU’RE ON THE VERGE OF REPEATING AN OLD MISTAKE: Just when you think they are out of your life for good, they come crawling back – in the middle of your dream.

But before you make any hasty decisions to go back there, Ian says: “This is a very common dream and it doesn’t mean you should start texting them when you are drunk, or decide to get back with them.

GettyIan says: ‘If you are in a relationship, it is also warning you not to repeat the past relationship patterns with your current romantic partner’[/caption]

“It’s telling you that you need to become more aware and to let go of old behaviours that no longer serve you.

“It could be that you’re realising you have the choice to do things the way you want to and stand on your own two feet.

“If you are in a relationship, it is also warning you not to repeat the past relationship patterns with your current romantic partner.”

Your boss

IT’S YOU WHO SHOULD BE CHAIRING THAT MEETING: We’ve all been there.

A weird, sexualised dream about a manager at work who you really DO NOT fancy. Or do you?

GettyIan says: ‘Bosses symbolise power and the ability to use that power’[/caption]

According to Ian, you probably don’t.

He says: “Bosses symbolise power and the ability to use that power.

“It indicates that you need to do some self-promotion in your waking life.

“Rather than always feeling that you need permission from other people to work on your passions, this is telling you that you need to promote your needs and ambitions.”

So rather than wanting to be with your boss in the bedroom, you want to be with him or her in the boardroom and you are telling yourself you need to push yourself to get there.

Your partner

YOU’VE GOT HIDDEN TALENTS YOU NEED TO EMBRACE: Dreaming about sex with your partner can never be a bad thing.

But what if you are being much more experimental than you are in real life.

GettyIan says: ‘Sex with your partner is about becoming really comfortable with your creative potential’[/caption]

Does that mean something is wrong in your relationship? Thankfully, no.

Ian says: “Sex with your partner is about becoming really comfortable with your creative potential.

“If you have got a talent or skill and you know how to do something, you need to become far more comfortable in doing that.

“It’s about understanding your sense of identity and your ability to be true to yourself, so you can behave the way you want in waking life, by also doing things in the way that suits you best.”

That can mean in the bedroom too. Time to spice things up?

Your neighbour

YOU NEED TO PUSH OUT OF YOUR RUT: You have borrowed the odd corkscrew in desperate times and maybe he has fed your cat when you’ve been away.

But now your unassuming neighbour is invading your dream. Why is that?

GettyIan says: ‘We all have big dreams and ambitions. It’s about realising there are smaller ambitions that are easier to get to – something closer to home, so to speak’[/caption]

Ian says: “This is about becoming more aware of yourself and your personal development.

“We all have big dreams and ambitions. It’s about realising there are smaller ambitions that are easier to get to – something closer to home, so to speak.

“Are you feeling trapped in your 9-5 office job? Maybe this is a sign to change careers into something you always wanted to do.

“If what you really want to do is become a skydiving instructor, what’s stopping you from taking small steps to get there?”

Your best friend

STOP RELYING ON OTHERS SO MUCH: Being intimate with your best friend in a dream – whatever their gender – may feel strange.

But don’t panic.

GettyIan says: ‘Instead of relying on your friend with that quality, you need to use that characteristic yourself’[/caption]

Ian says: “We create all the characters in the dream and we use those characters to symbolise particular qualities and characteristics.

“Say your friend is really good in social situations and they manage to put everyone at ease.

“That’s the quality you are identifying with.

“Whatever quality you associate with them is the quality you now have the opportunity to use to solve a particular problem in your own life.

“If they are funny, then you might need to use your sense of humour in waking life.

“Instead of relying on your friend with that quality, you need to use that characteristic yourself.”

Your old school pal

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE OLD YOU? Sometimes the most unexpected people appear in intimate dreams, such as an old school friend who you haven’t seen in donkey’s years.

Before you start hitting them up on Facebook for a date, Ian says, it could mean something altogether different.

GettySometimes the most unexpected people appear in intimate dreams, such as an old school friend who you haven’t seen in donkey’s years[/caption]

He says: “This is about becoming acquainted with part of your ambition you have probably forgotten about . . .  or you haven’t forgotten about but it is just laying dormant.

“It’s about reawakening that potential quality, like sport or singing, you associate with your school friend and that will help you rediscover that ambition.”

Similarly, Ian says that dreaming about an old schoolteacher may mean that you have the ability to learn and develop a new skill – whatever your age.

Someone you hate

DON’T BE SUCH A PEOPLE PLEASER: You despise this person. But last night you were sneaking around with them while you slept.

Rather than being about the person, this is all about your inner demons.

GettyIan says: ‘What you need to do is love yourself, love what you are doing and be able to channel your passion rather than just being self-critical’[/caption]

Ian says: “This is an opportunity to connect with an aspect of your potential you would normally try to suppress. It is about something in your life that you might be avoiding.

“Maybe it’s a situation you feel will make other people unhappy and might reject you.”

What would the person you hate do? Would they have the same inner turmoil over the issue?

Ian adds: “What you need to do is love yourself, love what you are doing and be able to channel your passion rather than just being self-critical.”

Your opposite ‘type’

CHANGE YOUR TACK TO GET WHAT YOU WANT: Most of us have a type and don’t give others a chance.

That is until it comes to our dreams, where we might have wild sex with someone who looks totally different.

GettyMost of us have a type and don’t give others a chance[/caption]

Ian says: “Dreams reveal a huge part of ourselves we don’t really know.

“This makes you realise that to understand a certain life situation, you may need to do the opposite to what you’d usually do.

“What usually stops us from doing this is other people judging us, but having the courage to do something out of character might get the outcome you want.”

Similarly, if you normally go for one gender but then have a dream about sex with another, it might mean that you need to change your tack when it comes to solving a problem.

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Porn and Mental Health: The Challenges and Strategies for Coping in the Industry 0 178

Alice Trout

Pornography is a billion-dollar industry that has gained widespread popularity across the globe. However, while it may be a source of entertainment for some, the industry can be challenging for performers’ mental health. The pressure to perform and meet the expectations of producers and viewers can take a toll on performers’ mental wellbeing. In this article, we’ll explore the challenges that the porn industry poses to mental health and strategies for coping with them.

The Challenges

  1. Stigma and Shame

The porn industry is still stigmatized, and performers can face a lot of shame and judgment from society. This can lead to a lot of stress and anxiety, making it difficult for performers to seek help and support when needed.

  1. Pressure to Perform

Performers in the porn industry are expected to meet certain expectations and perform at their best every time. This pressure can be overwhelming and can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem.

  1. Isolation and Loneliness

Performing in the porn industry can be a lonely experience, with performers spending long hours on set or on their own, away from friends and family. This can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness, which can take a toll on mental health.

  1. Trauma and Abuse

The porn industry is not immune to issues such as sexual harassment, assault, and exploitation. Performers may experience these traumatic events, leading to conditions such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and depression.

Strategies for Coping

Seek Professional Help

Performers in the porn industry should seek professional help and support when they need it. There are many therapists and counselors who specialize in working with performers in the industry and can help with issues such as anxiety, depression, and trauma.

Practice Self-Care

Self-care is crucial for performers in the porn industry. Taking breaks when needed, exercising, and practicing mindfulness and meditation can help performers manage stress and promote mental wellbeing.

Surround Yourself with Supportive People

Having a supportive network of friends, family, and colleagues can make a big difference in performers’ mental health. Surrounding yourself with people who understand the challenges of the industry and offer non-judgmental support can help performers cope with the stresses of the job.

Address Trauma and Abuse

Performers who have experienced trauma and abuse in the industry should seek support and address these issues head-on. This may involve therapy, reporting incidents to the authorities, and taking legal action if necessary.

Conclusion

The porn industry poses significant challenges to performers’ mental health, from stigma and shame to pressure to perform and trauma and abuse. However, with the right strategies, performers can cope with these challenges and maintain good mental wellbeing. Seeking professional help, practicing self-care, surrounding yourself with supportive people, and addressing trauma and abuse are just a few strategies that can help performers in the porn industry maintain good mental health.

Navigating Consent and Boundaries in the Porn Industry: A Guide for Newcomers 0 165

Alice Trout

Consent and boundaries are crucial aspects of the porn industry, and it’s essential for newcomers to understand how to navigate these issues. In this article, we’ll provide a guide for those who are new to the industry on how to approach consent and boundaries in a professional and respectful manner.

First and foremost, it’s important to understand that consent is always required in the porn industry. This means that every actor must give explicit and enthusiastic consent to any sexual act that is portrayed on camera. Consent can be given verbally or non-verbally, but it must always be clear and enthusiastic.

In order to ensure that consent is obtained, communication is key. Actors should have open and honest conversations with their scene partners and the director prior to filming. They should discuss what they are comfortable with and what their boundaries are, as well as any specific instructions or concerns.

It’s also important for actors to feel empowered to set their own boundaries and to speak up if they feel uncomfortable or unsafe during filming. This means that if an actor does not want to perform a particular act or if they feel that their boundaries are being pushed, they have the right to stop the scene and speak to the director about their concerns.

It’s also essential for actors to be aware of their own physical and emotional limits. This means that they should take breaks as needed, communicate with their scene partner and director about any discomfort or pain, and engage in self-care practices to ensure that they are physically and emotionally prepared for the demands of the job.

Finally, it’s important for actors to have a support system in place. This can include talking to other actors who have experience in the industry, seeking out counseling or therapy, and having trusted friends and family members who can provide emotional support.

Navigating consent and boundaries in the porn industry can be challenging, but it’s an essential part of maintaining a safe and respectful work environment. By following these guidelines, newcomers to the industry can ensure that they are approaching these issues in a professional and responsible manner.

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