Sexpert shares the bedroom act all women hate & why blokes need to listen up 0 88

A SEXPERT has revealed the bedroom act all women hate and says men need to listen up.

Nadia Bokody, 37, from Sydney, has been writing sex columns for a decade but says barely anything’s changed – with silence and faked orgasms still common among women.

Instagram/nadiabokodyNadia Bokody says women are still afraid to speak up in the bedroom – even when things are painful[/caption] Instagram/nadiabokodyNon-consensual slapping and choking, normalised by porn, are a big part of the problem[/caption]

She tells news.com.au: “What’s startling, is the fact women seem to feel safer anonymously sharing basic sexual needs on the internet, than they do at home with their own partners.

“It’s even more unnerving women are participating in sex acts they not only don’t enjoy, but that include physical discomfort, distress or pain.”

So what are these sex acts? Among the top offenders, Nadia says, are guys replicating sex acts commonly seen in porn – like slapping, choking and spitting.

A 2019 survey by research group Savanta ComRes found more than a third of women have experienced unwanted slapping, choking, gagging or spitting during consensual sex.

Nadia adds: “To be clear, I don’t take issue with women participating in erotic asphyxiation. I’ve been known to consensually partake in it myself when the mood strikes.

“What troubles me about the dialogue women are having around sex today, is the lack of communication there appears to be when it comes to fundamental concerns like consent and comfort.

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“Though I regularly hear it from male readers, it’s crude to suggest the solution to this issue lies in women simply speaking up in bed…

“We need to instead ask ourselves why women don’t feel safe enough to be doing that in the first place.”

Nadia adds society needs to be proactive about creating spaces where women can vocalise their feelings on pleasure, comfort and consent.

In more bedroom news, this sex toy tester who’s paid to have orgasms revealed the one fear men need to get over to please a woman.

Meanwhile, this woman uses Poundland lube as hair serum and says “it’s better than the designer versions – my hair’s never been so soft”.

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My bitter ex told lies to my friends about my ‘small manhood’ after I dumped her 0 40

DEAR DEIDRE: MY ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger.

She never complained when we were together, but last week she told the girls in our group that being with me was “like kissing a soggy lettuce leaf” and that she “literally didn’t feel a thing when we were having sex” because I’m so small.

My ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger

I’m 25 and she’s 24. I think part of it is jealousy.

She knows a couple of the other girls fancy me and I think she’s trying to sabotage any chance I have with them.

Not that I’m even planning anything.

She’s so insecure and has a vicious tongue on her.

I’m tempted to let each of her so-called friends know what she really says about them in private.

Even her best friend gets a nasty critique every time she posts anything on Instagram.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Her top is either too short, or her hair looks like wire, or her laugh is fake . . . it goes on and on.

I don’t regret splitting up with her but this last trick has really infuriated me.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t let yourself stoop to her level.

You can make it clear she is lying without playing her game, which would only escalate tensions and reflect badly on you.

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You could maybe reply with: “Let’s just say she never complained when we were together and nor have any of my other exes.”

Your friends will soon see her behaviour for what it is – jealous insecurity.

My partner said he was on a work trip – but he was actually getting married and on his honeymoon 0 28

DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner said he was on a work trip two months ago, but he had actually got married and been on honeymoon.

Our relationship had become a bit predictable, but we still had regular sex and nice days out with our two young sons.

My partner lied about his work trip – he was really on his HONEYMOON

I’m 32 and he’s 37. Our sons are four and two.

When he returned from his “work trip” he blamed me for his cheating, saying I had let myself go and didn’t pay him enough attention.

He then told me he’d “traded up” for a better model. It didn’t stop there.

He said that his wife, who is 27, is absolutely stunning and makes him feel special.

Apparently this woman was a barmaid he’d met on a golf trip and they had been seeing each other for six months.

He told me all this, then marched upstairs and packed his games console and his clothes and drove off out of my life.

The thing is, we always talked about getting married but when we had kids there always seemed something better to spend our money on.

Mutual friends have told me he has moved into a new-build home on the other side of our small town and his wife has plenty of family money.

My sons are really missing him and I don’t even know how I feel.

Sometimes when he comes to visit the boys I beg him to come home.

But other times I’m so angry with him, I refuse to let him in.

Now he is accusing me of stopping him from seeing his children.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Surely he can’t just show up when he likes?

I’m a mess and need to start getting a grip for the kids’ sake.

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My boyfriend's completely gone off sex since I gained weight

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My neighbour borrowed my shed and refused to pay me for it

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DEAR DEIDRE

I caught my husband snogging my sister – how am I meant to trust him again?

DEIDRE SAYS: I’m so sorry your partner ended your relationship in such a cruel way.

This man sounds selfish and immature, and quite frankly the way he has treated you is emotionally abusive.

It won’t feel like it now, but you really are better off without him.

He is behaving like he still lives in your home, by just turning up unannounced.

Tell him firmly that you would encourage a good relationship between him and your sons but he can only collect them with prior arrangement.

Start to put down your boundaries.

I’m sending you my support pack When Parents Fall Out, which you could pass to him to help explain why you need to co-operate for the future wellbeing of your children.

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Give yourself time and be kind to yourself. He put you down constantly, now you can start to build up your confidence.

I’d recommend seeing a counsellor to help you with this betrayal and am sending you my Counselling support pack.

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