I’m a sexpert and these are the biggest lies we’ve been told about sex – and no, not ALL contraception is reliable Comments Off on I’m a sexpert and these are the biggest lies we’ve been told about sex – and no, not ALL contraception is reliable 368

WHETHER you were an A-grade student in sex-ed class or you got a lecture from your parents about the birds and the bees, chances are what we learned way back when is still with us today.

But it seems we’ve been lied to in one way or another and LELO’s sex and relationship expert, Kate Moyle, has debunked some of the most common myths about sex.

Kate MoyleKate Moyle, sex and relationship expert at LELO, has debunked some of the most common myths about sex[/caption]

The ‘pull out method’ is a reliable form of contraception

There are many types of contraception including condoms, the pill and the IUD, just to name a few.

But many people rely on the “pull out method” to help prevent pregnancy, although Kate says it’s simply not reliable.

This refers to when two people have unprotected sex and the man pulls out right before ejaculation.

But according to  Planned Parenthood 22/100 people every year will get pregnant from using the pull-out method, says Kate.

“This is due to the fact that often people don’t time it, or manage it perfectly every single time,” she explains.

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“This means men don’t completely manage to keep any ejaculation away from the vagina or vulva.

“If you are trying to avoid pregnancy you should therefore be using a reliable form of contraception.”

That ‘morning wood’ means a man is always turned on

It’s normal for blokes to wake in the morning with an erect penis.

But contrary to what we think it means (that he’s ready to go a round in the sack), Kate says it’s actually something different entirely.

“Nocturnal penile tumescence (NPT) doesn’t mean that a man has woken up turned on, or just had an erotic dream ( although that may sometimes be the case ),” she explains.

“It’s actually a sign of healthy circulation and nervous system activity”

She said that men can experience erections three to five times a night, and these are often noticeable upon waking.

A focus or pressure on orgasm can actually detract from pleasure and create anxiety and even interrupt the ability to reach orgasm, for some people even to the point of causing sexual difficulties or dysfunction.

“If these morning erections suddenly stop then it can be an indicator of an underlying health condition, and it’s worth discussing with your doctor.”

Sex has to end in orgasm

Orgasms can be a part of sex and sexual experiences, but they aren’t a necessity, Kate reveals.

She explains: “Both partners are able to experience pleasure, satisfaction and enjoyment from sex without orgasm.

“A focus or pressure on orgasm can actually detract from pleasure and create anxiety and even interrupt the ability to reach orgasm, for some people even to the point of causing sexual difficulties or dysfunction.

“It means that sex can become goal-orientated and so we focus on the goal or what we think we need to achieve rather than the experience itself.”

If you or your partner has an STI then you will definitely know, so you don’t need to check unless you have symptoms

According to the sex expert, not all STIs are visible, so you can’t assume that you or your partner will “just know”.

She explains: “Anyone who is having unprotected sex – not just intercourse but other forms of sex like oral sex -can catch an STI.

“Some STI’s are symptomless and so it’s a good idea to test regularly, which can easily be done by visiting a sexual health clinic, or using a home testing kit.”

She strongly advises that you protect yourself by using a form of contraception like condoms.

Particularly if you’re having sex with a new partner and you don’t know their status.

Spontaneous sex is the best sex

We can probably blame Hollywood for making us think this is true with spontaneous, passionate romps representing the majority of sexual encounters we see.

Although “spontaneous sex gets a lot of hype” Kate reckons it takes away from regular planned or routine sex which is actually the norm for most couples.

She explains: “The hype is likely because it’s a lot of what we see reflected in the movies and on our screens, but also because it’s the type of sex that we might have more of at the start of a relationship when we are exploring and getting to know each other and we see that responsive desire is high.

“But the reality is thinking of this as the ‘holy grail’ can mean that we devalue sex which might be less spontaneous, more routine or planned and this shouldn’t be the case.”

If it’s not intercourse, it’s not sex

When people say sex, most automatically think penetrative, but Kate says we should have a more “open minded approach” as this is just one form.

“A focus on pleasure rather than a certain type of sex can open up a world of possibilities for our sex lives, and moves the narrative to doing what feels good, rather than just doing what you think you ‘should’ be doing,” she explains.

You can get addicted to your vibrator

Like anything in life we can habituate or get used to something, but this is different to having an addiction, Kate says.

So if you’ve ever been told you can get addicted to your sex toy then don’t believe a word of it, because the expert reckons it’s far from true.

She says: “Sex toys can be a great tool for your sex life whether coupled, single or both.

“We can get caught up in routines and what this may mean is that we then find it harder to achieve the same level of pleasure in other ways, but this isn’t exclusive to sex toys.”

Kate says it’s a good idea to mix things up when it comes to your sexlife and try not to always do things the same way.

She continues: “What can happen is that we find sex toys the easiest way to achieve orgasm and so we start to use them as our default ( many people are also less inhibited on their own rather than with a partner present ) but even this thinking can impact us sexually.

“So there is no reason to give yourself a hard time about it, rather than to appreciate all the different ways in which you can have pleasurable and enjoyable experiences both on your own and with a partner.”

GettyWhat we know about sex might not be true, according to the expert[/caption]

In other relationship news, a sexpert revealed the most common mistakes they ALWAYS see couples make in bed – so how many are YOU guilty of?

We recently revealed how often most people are having sex & how to make sure you’re hitting the mark.

And this sexpert shared the sex positions she’d never do – and you’ve probably tried out this one very common one.

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Managing Relationships While Working in the Adult Industry Comments Off on Managing Relationships While Working in the Adult Industry 258

Navigating romantic relationships can be complex, and this complexity often intensifies when one or both partners are involved in the adult industry. In this guide, we’ll explore practical strategies for maintaining healthy relationships, fostering open communication, and addressing challenges that may arise when one’s profession involves adult entertainment.

1. Open Communication:

Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship, especially when working in the adult industry. Establishing open and honest communication channels helps build trust and understanding between partners.

Example: Provide communication tips, such as setting aside dedicated time for discussions, creating a judgment-free zone, and actively listening to each other’s concerns.

2. Establishing Boundaries:

Clearly defining and respecting boundaries is crucial for both partners. Discussing comfort levels, expectations, and limits ensures that both individuals feel secure in the relationship.

Example: Offer guidance on how to have constructive conversations about boundaries, emphasizing the importance of mutual consent and compromise.

3. Building a Support System:

Developing a robust support system is essential. This includes friends, family, or colleagues who understand and respect the nature of the profession and can offer support during challenging times.

Example: Share stories of couples who have successfully built strong support systems and provide tips on how to nurture these networks.

4. Trust and Transparency:

Trust is a cornerstone of any relationship but becomes even more critical when working in the adult industry. Being transparent about one’s work and addressing concerns promptly helps foster trust between partners.

Example: Illustrate the positive outcomes of trust-building actions, such as being open about work schedules, discussing potential challenges, and offering reassurance.

5. Educating Partners:

Sometimes, misunderstandings arise due to lack of knowledge. Educating partners about the adult industry, its dynamics, and dispelling common myths can promote a better understanding of the profession.

Example: Create a guide for individuals to share with their partners, explaining the realities of the adult industry, emphasizing the consensual nature of the work, and addressing misconceptions.

6. Coping with External Judgments:

Working in the adult industry often comes with societal stigma. Discuss strategies for coping with external judgments and maintaining a strong sense of self-worth within the relationship.

Example: Share empowering stories of individuals who have successfully navigated societal stigma, emphasizing self-love and resilience.

7. Seeking Professional Guidance:

Relationships can benefit from professional guidance. Encouraging couples to seek counseling or therapy when faced with challenges can provide a neutral space for communication and support.

Example: Highlight success stories of couples who have sought therapy to strengthen their relationship and provide resources for finding qualified professionals.

8. Planning for the Future:

Discussing future plans is vital for any couple. Addressing long-term goals, such as career transitions or family planning, helps both partners feel secure and invested in the relationship.

Example: Offer advice on creating a shared vision for the future, navigating career changes, and making joint decisions that align with both partners’ aspirations.


Successfully managing relationships while working in the adult industry requires a combination of open communication, trust-building, and a proactive approach to addressing challenges. By fostering understanding, establishing clear boundaries, and seeking support when needed, couples can build strong, resilient relationships that thrive despite the unique demands of the profession. Remember, every relationship is unique, and adapting these strategies to suit individual needs is key to a fulfilling and supportive partnership.

Understanding and Navigating the World of Online Adult Content Comments Off on Understanding and Navigating the World of Online Adult Content 250

The internet has transformed the way we access and consume information, including adult content. Navigating this vast and often complex digital landscape requires understanding, responsibility, and respect. In this guide, we’ll explore key aspects of online adult content, helping you make informed choices while ensuring a safe and enjoyable experience.

1. Diverse Platforms and Formats:

Online adult content is not confined to a single platform or format. From websites and streaming services to interactive content, understanding the variety available is essential.

Example: Differentiate between mainstream adult websites, premium subscription services, and emerging interactive platforms, providing a glimpse into the diverse options.

2. Privacy and Security:

Respecting privacy is crucial when engaging with adult content online. This includes understanding the importance of secure connections, anonymous browsing, and being mindful of personal data.

Example: Provide tips on using virtual private networks (VPNs), secure payment methods, and the importance of reading privacy policies on adult websites.

3. Responsible Consumption:

Consuming adult content responsibly involves being aware of ethical considerations. This includes consent, avoiding illegal content, and understanding the potential impact on relationships.

Example: Share stories or case studies illustrating the importance of responsible consumption and the potential consequences of engaging with non-consensual or illegal content.

4. Age Verification and Restrictions:

Most countries have regulations regarding the access to adult content, often requiring age verification. Understanding and complying with these regulations is vital for legal and ethical reasons.

Example: Provide a step-by-step guide on age verification processes on different platforms and emphasize the importance of adherence to legal requirements.

5. Impact on Mental Health:

Consuming adult content can have varying effects on mental health. It’s crucial to be aware of the potential impact and seek support if needed.

Example: Discuss the potential consequences of excessive consumption, addiction, or unrealistic expectations, and provide resources for mental health support.

6. Consent and Ethical Production:

Understanding the concept of consent extends to the production of adult content. Ethical consumption involves supporting platforms and creators that prioritize the well-being and consent of performers.

Example: Showcase initiatives or platforms that prioritize ethical production, emphasize performer rights, and provide fair compensation.

7. Balancing Fantasies with Reality:

Distinguishing between fantasy and reality is important when consuming adult content. Developing a healthy perspective on sexuality involves recognizing the difference between scripted entertainment and real-life relationships.

Example: Share anecdotes or expert opinions on how to maintain a balanced view of sexuality and relationships while consuming adult content.

8. Community and Education:

Online communities and educational resources play a role in promoting healthy discussions about adult content. Engaging with like-minded individuals and staying informed contributes to a positive online experience.

Example: Highlight reputable online forums or educational platforms where individuals can learn more about various aspects of adult content, share experiences, and ask questions.


Navigating the world of online adult content requires a balanced approach, combining awareness, responsibility, and respect. By understanding the diverse landscape, prioritizing privacy and security, and promoting ethical consumption, individuals can ensure a positive and consensual online experience. Remember, responsible engagement contributes to a healthier digital environment for both consumers and content creators alike.

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