My lying husband has been living a secret life with lover for 15 years – now she’s pregnant 0 38

DEAR DEIDRE: MY lying husband has been leading a double life for the past 15 years.

The truth came out last month when he announced he’d bought a flat and was moving out.

He told me the affair was over a decade ago but has been carrying on

An affair I thought had ended more than a decade ago has been going strong and now they’re setting up home ahead of the birth of their new baby.

I’m 44 and my husband’s 46.

I was devastated when I discovered he was cheating with a colleague just as I became pregnant with our second daughter 14 years ago.

Their affair had been going on for two years. He blamed it on struggling with our first baby and the pressure of providing for the family.

I couldn’t believe he’d made me pregnant while having sex with another woman.

I told him I couldn’t trust him but he begged to stay together, so we carried on.

I never fully forgave him though. We weren’t a couple, we were two parents living together.

And unbeknown to me, the affair began again.

His lover, now 38, has split up with her partner and she’s eight months pregnant with my husband’s child.

I have read many WhatsApp messages between them where he has painted an awful picture of me and made himself sound like a fantastic dad.

I can’t forgive all the deceit. I’ve told my daughters, now 17 and 15, about their dad.

I felt they needed to know why we didn’t get on, why their dad was so moody and why he was always on his phone.

Our daughters don’t have a good relationship with him.

My husband wants them to be part of his new family and his partner wants to meet me. I’m horrified at this.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

They’ve destroyed my life and they want me to accept their new family.

My girls don’t want to be part of it either. But should I encourage them to be part of their dad’s new family? Am I being unfair?

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I caught my husband snogging my sister – how am I meant to trust him again?

DEIDRE SAYS: It’s no surprise you’re confused and conflicted.

It will take time to recover, particularly when you’re also trying to care for your daughters.

Lean on your friends and seek the support of a counsellor if need be. Local help is available via relate.org.uk.

Keeping a relationship with their dad and wider family is important for your daughters, so do encourage them to see him.

They need to have some continuity, despite their parents splitting up.

And don’t forget that your husband’s new baby will be their half-sibling.

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My bitter ex told lies to my friends about my ‘small manhood’ after I dumped her 0 47

DEAR DEIDRE: MY ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger.

She never complained when we were together, but last week she told the girls in our group that being with me was “like kissing a soggy lettuce leaf” and that she “literally didn’t feel a thing when we were having sex” because I’m so small.

My ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger

I’m 25 and she’s 24. I think part of it is jealousy.

She knows a couple of the other girls fancy me and I think she’s trying to sabotage any chance I have with them.

Not that I’m even planning anything.

She’s so insecure and has a vicious tongue on her.

I’m tempted to let each of her so-called friends know what she really says about them in private.

Even her best friend gets a nasty critique every time she posts anything on Instagram.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Her top is either too short, or her hair looks like wire, or her laugh is fake . . . it goes on and on.

I don’t regret splitting up with her but this last trick has really infuriated me.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t let yourself stoop to her level.

You can make it clear she is lying without playing her game, which would only escalate tensions and reflect badly on you.

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You could maybe reply with: “Let’s just say she never complained when we were together and nor have any of my other exes.”

Your friends will soon see her behaviour for what it is – jealous insecurity.

My lover told me she fancied my dad after I said I had a crush on Kay Burley 0 33

DEAR DEIDRE: MY girlfriend and I have been together for two years – I’m 31 and she’s 28 – and everything was going well until we had a drunken chat.

We were getting frisky and I asked her who her secret crush was.

She told me she fancied my dad and our relationship has not been the same since.

I told her I had a real thing for Kay Burley, the newsreader.

But her answer threw me – she said she fancied my dad. He’s 52.

You can imagine how that killed the mood instantly for me, and now I feel so weird about it.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

She has laughed it off and can’t understand why I’m so freaked out.

She tells me I should be pleased because we look alike.

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DEIDRE SAYS: The fact that your girlfriend has laughed off her admission shows she really isn’t that serious about your dad.

Perhaps you are fantasising about your crush, so you assume she is doing the same about your dad.

From what you have told me, her crush sounds entirely innocent.

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Instead of dwelling on it, focus on your relationship and your future.

You would regret ruining a good thing.

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