Want to turn your girlfriend on? Study reveals something you probably haven’t tried 0 31

A STUDY has revealed an unusual way to turn women on that you probably haven’t tried.

It turns out that looks, size or stamina are not as important as most people think in their quest for an amazing sex-life.

GettyA study has found the best way to turn your girlfriend on[/caption]

Instead, a Journal of Sex Research study suggested women are turned on by men who do the chores.

The research saw 299 Australian women aged 18 to 39 years answering an online questionnaire on relationships and dimensions of sexual desire.

Experts were particularly interested in how fairness in a relationship may impact a women’s libido.

Questions covered housework, who had more leisure time, and “mental load”.

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Mental load is a term covering the brain effort involved in running things like a household, family and work – and is often seen as being heavier on a woman.

The study found that women in equal relationships (in terms of housework and the mental load) are more satisfied.

In turn, they feel more desire to jump into bed than those in unequal relationships.

Psychologists Dr Simone Buzwell and Eva Johansen, who conducted the study, wrote in The Conversation: “A sense of fairness within a relationship is fundamental to all women’s satisfaction and sexual desire.”

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They said relationship dissatisfaction is a “top risk factor” for low sexual desire in women, alongside age and menopause.

But their research indicated relationship boredom is not a reason for a lower sex drive in women.

The sexperts said: “The longer some relationships continue, the more unfair they become, lowering women’s desire.

“This may be because women take on managing their partner’s relationships, as well as their own.”

The experts also discovered how a “fair” relationship did not automatically equate to a happy sex life.

Dr Buzwell and Johansen wrote: “We found children increased the workload for women, leading to lower relationship equity and consequently, lower sexual desire.

“Relationship length also played a role.

“Research shows long-term relationships are associated with decreasing desire for women, and this is often attributed to the tedium of over-familiarity.”

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In terms of same-sex couples, the research found that they generally had more equal relationships.

However, the study did find the same link between equity and desire for women in same-sex relationships – although it was much stronger for heterosexual couples.

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My bitter ex told lies to my friends about my ‘small manhood’ after I dumped her 0 40

DEAR DEIDRE: MY ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger.

She never complained when we were together, but last week she told the girls in our group that being with me was “like kissing a soggy lettuce leaf” and that she “literally didn’t feel a thing when we were having sex” because I’m so small.

My ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger

I’m 25 and she’s 24. I think part of it is jealousy.

She knows a couple of the other girls fancy me and I think she’s trying to sabotage any chance I have with them.

Not that I’m even planning anything.

She’s so insecure and has a vicious tongue on her.

I’m tempted to let each of her so-called friends know what she really says about them in private.

Even her best friend gets a nasty critique every time she posts anything on Instagram.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Her top is either too short, or her hair looks like wire, or her laugh is fake . . . it goes on and on.

I don’t regret splitting up with her but this last trick has really infuriated me.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t let yourself stoop to her level.

You can make it clear she is lying without playing her game, which would only escalate tensions and reflect badly on you.

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You could maybe reply with: “Let’s just say she never complained when we were together and nor have any of my other exes.”

Your friends will soon see her behaviour for what it is – jealous insecurity.

My partner said he was on a work trip – but he was actually getting married and on his honeymoon 0 28

DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner said he was on a work trip two months ago, but he had actually got married and been on honeymoon.

Our relationship had become a bit predictable, but we still had regular sex and nice days out with our two young sons.

My partner lied about his work trip – he was really on his HONEYMOON

I’m 32 and he’s 37. Our sons are four and two.

When he returned from his “work trip” he blamed me for his cheating, saying I had let myself go and didn’t pay him enough attention.

He then told me he’d “traded up” for a better model. It didn’t stop there.

He said that his wife, who is 27, is absolutely stunning and makes him feel special.

Apparently this woman was a barmaid he’d met on a golf trip and they had been seeing each other for six months.

He told me all this, then marched upstairs and packed his games console and his clothes and drove off out of my life.

The thing is, we always talked about getting married but when we had kids there always seemed something better to spend our money on.

Mutual friends have told me he has moved into a new-build home on the other side of our small town and his wife has plenty of family money.

My sons are really missing him and I don’t even know how I feel.

Sometimes when he comes to visit the boys I beg him to come home.

But other times I’m so angry with him, I refuse to let him in.

Now he is accusing me of stopping him from seeing his children.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Surely he can’t just show up when he likes?

I’m a mess and need to start getting a grip for the kids’ sake.

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DEIDRE SAYS: I’m so sorry your partner ended your relationship in such a cruel way.

This man sounds selfish and immature, and quite frankly the way he has treated you is emotionally abusive.

It won’t feel like it now, but you really are better off without him.

He is behaving like he still lives in your home, by just turning up unannounced.

Tell him firmly that you would encourage a good relationship between him and your sons but he can only collect them with prior arrangement.

Start to put down your boundaries.

I’m sending you my support pack When Parents Fall Out, which you could pass to him to help explain why you need to co-operate for the future wellbeing of your children.

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Give yourself time and be kind to yourself. He put you down constantly, now you can start to build up your confidence.

I’d recommend seeing a counsellor to help you with this betrayal and am sending you my Counselling support pack.

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