We called off our engagement to be a throuple – now we swap partners every night but our sex contract has a golden rule Comments Off on We called off our engagement to be a throuple – now we swap partners every night but our sex contract has a golden rule 284

SIGNING her name beside her partner’s, Irie Ewers felt a rush of excitement.

This was no ordinary contract – it was an agreement between her and boyfriend Tom Smith, 32, granting them permission to have sex with other people.

HotSpot MediaIrie Ewers and Tom Smith opened up their relationship[/caption] HotSpot MediaThe couple called off their engagement because they couldn’t imagine leaving their girlfriend out[/caption]

The couple, who met on dating app Tinder in September 2015, agreed to open up their relationship after Irie, 26, admitted she was bisexual.

Flash forward three years and the polyamorous pair are now a throuple, having found a connection with another woman, Alex Jones, 32.

And they’ve even called off their engagement because they couldn’t imagine getting married without Alex.

Law student Irie, from Oklahoma, says: “I feel lucky to have not one, but two people to love and cherish.



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“I didn’t think it’d be possible to love more than one person at a time, but with Tom and Alex, it’s so natural.”

After sparks flew on their first date, Irie and Tom, a recruiter, fell madly in love.

They moved in together in May 2016 and were “strictly monogamous” – but two years later, they decided to open up their partnership.

Irie explains: “From the beginning, Tom always knew I was also attracted to women, so when we discussed exploring our sexuality, swinging seemed like the obvious choice.

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“We wrote up a contract, outlining dos and don’ts, so there were no grey areas with consent.

“After that we slept with other people and enjoyed threesomes. It was great sex.

“Although we enjoyed a few flings, we wanted something more permanent.”

Golden rule

HotSpot MediaIrie and Tom started out monogamous but Irie knew she was bisexual[/caption]

Irie and Tom discussed inviting a third partner into their relationship, and in September 2019, they decided to write out a contract.

The agreement included a two drink limit before engaging in sex, and that Irie kissed the woman first.

Irie says: “The contract stated we’d now become polyamorous and it laid out the ground rules.

“It said we were happy to bring another woman into our relationship. If we were to have sex there would be a two drink limit.

Our contract said we were happy to bring another woman into our relationship. If we were to have sex there would be a two drink limit

Irie Ewers

“Tom and I then signed it. It was very exciting.”

They began dating women, but had no luck – and in July 2020 they got engaged.

But everything changed in January 2021 when they met Alex, a psychotherapist, at a restaurant while having brunch.

Irie recalls: “She was beautiful. I chatted with her at the end of the table while Tom watched.

“I learnt that Alex was a lesbian but had never explored polyamory.

“After the brunch I introduced her to Tom and told her we were a couple but were open to meeting a new woman. She was monogamous but interested.

“After that we chatted every day, and when we met for a hike later that week, we confessed our feelings for each other.”

Couple to trio

HotSpot MediaThe trio moved in together and began sharing a bed[/caption]

In March last year, Alex joined Tom and Irie in their relationship, becoming a polyamorous trio.

Although Alex is a lesbian, she went on ‘dates’ with Tom so they could build their connection.

Irie says: “Tom, Alex and I started sharing a bed together and eventually all became intimate as a trio and it was magical.

“Everything happened so naturally and I found myself falling in love with Alex too.”

Alex later moved in with Irie and Tom, but Tom moved out so he could have more space and meet more women.

Tom, Alex and I started sharing a bed together and eventually all became intimate as a trio and it was magical

Irie Ewers

Irie says: “Now I spend Mondays and Wednesdays with Alex in our shared home together with our two cats.

“On Tuesdays and Thursdays I stay with Tom in our place with our two dogs. We spend the weekends all together.

“To help manage our time together we share an online calendar so we can arrange to see each other for the rest of the week.”


HotSpot MediaThe throuple have had some mean comments[/caption] HotSpot MediaTom moved out so he could spend time with more different women[/caption]

Irie admits they’ve had some nasty comments about their relationship.

She recalls: “Once we were all on a train holding hands and kissing and a man told us we deserved to die. I was devastated.

“Thankfully my parents were cool with it.”

Now the throuple plan to have a symbolic ceremony together in the future to celebrate their union.

Irie says: “I love having a boyfriend and girlfriend.

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“Thanks to our contract, jealousy isn’t something we experience. It gives us freedom.

“I’m grateful to have two wonderful, amazing people that love me, and I love them both, equally.”

HotSpot MediaIrie says their arrangement works perfectly[/caption] HotSpot MediaTom and Alex went on dates to find their connection[/caption]

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Managing Relationships While Working in the Adult Industry Comments Off on Managing Relationships While Working in the Adult Industry 186

Navigating romantic relationships can be complex, and this complexity often intensifies when one or both partners are involved in the adult industry. In this guide, we’ll explore practical strategies for maintaining healthy relationships, fostering open communication, and addressing challenges that may arise when one’s profession involves adult entertainment.

1. Open Communication:

Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship, especially when working in the adult industry. Establishing open and honest communication channels helps build trust and understanding between partners.

Example: Provide communication tips, such as setting aside dedicated time for discussions, creating a judgment-free zone, and actively listening to each other’s concerns.

2. Establishing Boundaries:

Clearly defining and respecting boundaries is crucial for both partners. Discussing comfort levels, expectations, and limits ensures that both individuals feel secure in the relationship.

Example: Offer guidance on how to have constructive conversations about boundaries, emphasizing the importance of mutual consent and compromise.

3. Building a Support System:

Developing a robust support system is essential. This includes friends, family, or colleagues who understand and respect the nature of the profession and can offer support during challenging times.

Example: Share stories of couples who have successfully built strong support systems and provide tips on how to nurture these networks.

4. Trust and Transparency:

Trust is a cornerstone of any relationship but becomes even more critical when working in the adult industry. Being transparent about one’s work and addressing concerns promptly helps foster trust between partners.

Example: Illustrate the positive outcomes of trust-building actions, such as being open about work schedules, discussing potential challenges, and offering reassurance.

5. Educating Partners:

Sometimes, misunderstandings arise due to lack of knowledge. Educating partners about the adult industry, its dynamics, and dispelling common myths can promote a better understanding of the profession.

Example: Create a guide for individuals to share with their partners, explaining the realities of the adult industry, emphasizing the consensual nature of the work, and addressing misconceptions.

6. Coping with External Judgments:

Working in the adult industry often comes with societal stigma. Discuss strategies for coping with external judgments and maintaining a strong sense of self-worth within the relationship.

Example: Share empowering stories of individuals who have successfully navigated societal stigma, emphasizing self-love and resilience.

7. Seeking Professional Guidance:

Relationships can benefit from professional guidance. Encouraging couples to seek counseling or therapy when faced with challenges can provide a neutral space for communication and support.

Example: Highlight success stories of couples who have sought therapy to strengthen their relationship and provide resources for finding qualified professionals.

8. Planning for the Future:

Discussing future plans is vital for any couple. Addressing long-term goals, such as career transitions or family planning, helps both partners feel secure and invested in the relationship.

Example: Offer advice on creating a shared vision for the future, navigating career changes, and making joint decisions that align with both partners’ aspirations.


Successfully managing relationships while working in the adult industry requires a combination of open communication, trust-building, and a proactive approach to addressing challenges. By fostering understanding, establishing clear boundaries, and seeking support when needed, couples can build strong, resilient relationships that thrive despite the unique demands of the profession. Remember, every relationship is unique, and adapting these strategies to suit individual needs is key to a fulfilling and supportive partnership.

Understanding and Navigating the World of Online Adult Content Comments Off on Understanding and Navigating the World of Online Adult Content 181

The internet has transformed the way we access and consume information, including adult content. Navigating this vast and often complex digital landscape requires understanding, responsibility, and respect. In this guide, we’ll explore key aspects of online adult content, helping you make informed choices while ensuring a safe and enjoyable experience.

1. Diverse Platforms and Formats:

Online adult content is not confined to a single platform or format. From websites and streaming services to interactive content, understanding the variety available is essential.

Example: Differentiate between mainstream adult websites, premium subscription services, and emerging interactive platforms, providing a glimpse into the diverse options.

2. Privacy and Security:

Respecting privacy is crucial when engaging with adult content online. This includes understanding the importance of secure connections, anonymous browsing, and being mindful of personal data.

Example: Provide tips on using virtual private networks (VPNs), secure payment methods, and the importance of reading privacy policies on adult websites.

3. Responsible Consumption:

Consuming adult content responsibly involves being aware of ethical considerations. This includes consent, avoiding illegal content, and understanding the potential impact on relationships.

Example: Share stories or case studies illustrating the importance of responsible consumption and the potential consequences of engaging with non-consensual or illegal content.

4. Age Verification and Restrictions:

Most countries have regulations regarding the access to adult content, often requiring age verification. Understanding and complying with these regulations is vital for legal and ethical reasons.

Example: Provide a step-by-step guide on age verification processes on different platforms and emphasize the importance of adherence to legal requirements.

5. Impact on Mental Health:

Consuming adult content can have varying effects on mental health. It’s crucial to be aware of the potential impact and seek support if needed.

Example: Discuss the potential consequences of excessive consumption, addiction, or unrealistic expectations, and provide resources for mental health support.

6. Consent and Ethical Production:

Understanding the concept of consent extends to the production of adult content. Ethical consumption involves supporting platforms and creators that prioritize the well-being and consent of performers.

Example: Showcase initiatives or platforms that prioritize ethical production, emphasize performer rights, and provide fair compensation.

7. Balancing Fantasies with Reality:

Distinguishing between fantasy and reality is important when consuming adult content. Developing a healthy perspective on sexuality involves recognizing the difference between scripted entertainment and real-life relationships.

Example: Share anecdotes or expert opinions on how to maintain a balanced view of sexuality and relationships while consuming adult content.

8. Community and Education:

Online communities and educational resources play a role in promoting healthy discussions about adult content. Engaging with like-minded individuals and staying informed contributes to a positive online experience.

Example: Highlight reputable online forums or educational platforms where individuals can learn more about various aspects of adult content, share experiences, and ask questions.


Navigating the world of online adult content requires a balanced approach, combining awareness, responsibility, and respect. By understanding the diverse landscape, prioritizing privacy and security, and promoting ethical consumption, individuals can ensure a positive and consensual online experience. Remember, responsible engagement contributes to a healthier digital environment for both consumers and content creators alike.

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