I fear I’ll lose my job after boss caught me watching porn in my work van 0 32

DEAR DEIDRE: I FEAR I’ll lose my job after my boss caught me watching porn in my work van.

I’m a man of 38 and I’m married to a gorgeous woman. She’s 36. We get along well and our sex life is OK.

I fear I’ll lose my job after boss caught me watching porn in my work van

We have sex a couple of times a week but, if I’m honest, I’d like it every single day.

We used to have sex a couple of times a day during lockdown, when we were both working from home, but now we are back at work and my wife is travelling a bit more, I have to put up with less sex.

So I’ve started watching more pornography.

If she’s away it’s the first thing I do when I get home and I can’t get off to sleep without it either.

She knows I’m watching it and it’s been causing arguments.

She found my stash of porn videos recently and was horrified.

I told her I missed her when she was away but it doesn’t cut the mustard. She said unless I stop, she’ll leave, so I vowed to cut down.

I work for a big butcher’s, as a delivery driver.

Last week my wife was away for work but was due home, then was told she had to stay an extra night. I was gutted as she’d promised me a night of passion on her return.

The more I thought about it, the more I wanted her home.
I felt so turned on.

While I waited in my van for my cargo to be prepared, I decided to look at my favourite adult sites on my phone.

I must have been engrossed as I didn’t notice my boss approaching.

He pulled the door open and looked so shocked when he saw what was on my phone.

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I was so embarrassed.

Now he’s gone away on holiday but has said he’ll talk to me when he gets back. If I get sacked, I’ll lose everything.

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Did my late wife cheat and lie to me for years?

DEIDRE SAYS: You are catastrophising, so try to slow down.

You’re a good employee, so apologise to your boss.

Tell him you realise it was completely inappropriate behaviour and reassure him you won’t do it again.

More importantly, take this as a sign that you need to curb your use of porn.

Many people watch it without any negative effects, but when anything starts ruining other important parts of our lives it is a sign an activity has become addictive.

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My best friend forced me to have sex with him, he ignored my pleas to stop

You don’t want to lose your job, or your wife, so you need to start taking this seriously. The best route is to go cold turkey and fill your life with other interests.

My support pack Internet Pornography Worry explains how to kick this habit so you can enjoy a good relationship again.

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My bitter ex told lies to my friends about my ‘small manhood’ after I dumped her 0 40

DEAR DEIDRE: MY ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger.

She never complained when we were together, but last week she told the girls in our group that being with me was “like kissing a soggy lettuce leaf” and that she “literally didn’t feel a thing when we were having sex” because I’m so small.

My ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger

I’m 25 and she’s 24. I think part of it is jealousy.

She knows a couple of the other girls fancy me and I think she’s trying to sabotage any chance I have with them.

Not that I’m even planning anything.

She’s so insecure and has a vicious tongue on her.

I’m tempted to let each of her so-called friends know what she really says about them in private.

Even her best friend gets a nasty critique every time she posts anything on Instagram.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Her top is either too short, or her hair looks like wire, or her laugh is fake . . . it goes on and on.

I don’t regret splitting up with her but this last trick has really infuriated me.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t let yourself stoop to her level.

You can make it clear she is lying without playing her game, which would only escalate tensions and reflect badly on you.

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You could maybe reply with: “Let’s just say she never complained when we were together and nor have any of my other exes.”

Your friends will soon see her behaviour for what it is – jealous insecurity.

My partner said he was on a work trip – but he was actually getting married and on his honeymoon 0 28

DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner said he was on a work trip two months ago, but he had actually got married and been on honeymoon.

Our relationship had become a bit predictable, but we still had regular sex and nice days out with our two young sons.

My partner lied about his work trip – he was really on his HONEYMOON

I’m 32 and he’s 37. Our sons are four and two.

When he returned from his “work trip” he blamed me for his cheating, saying I had let myself go and didn’t pay him enough attention.

He then told me he’d “traded up” for a better model. It didn’t stop there.

He said that his wife, who is 27, is absolutely stunning and makes him feel special.

Apparently this woman was a barmaid he’d met on a golf trip and they had been seeing each other for six months.

He told me all this, then marched upstairs and packed his games console and his clothes and drove off out of my life.

The thing is, we always talked about getting married but when we had kids there always seemed something better to spend our money on.

Mutual friends have told me he has moved into a new-build home on the other side of our small town and his wife has plenty of family money.

My sons are really missing him and I don’t even know how I feel.

Sometimes when he comes to visit the boys I beg him to come home.

But other times I’m so angry with him, I refuse to let him in.

Now he is accusing me of stopping him from seeing his children.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Surely he can’t just show up when he likes?

I’m a mess and need to start getting a grip for the kids’ sake.

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DEIDRE SAYS: I’m so sorry your partner ended your relationship in such a cruel way.

This man sounds selfish and immature, and quite frankly the way he has treated you is emotionally abusive.

It won’t feel like it now, but you really are better off without him.

He is behaving like he still lives in your home, by just turning up unannounced.

Tell him firmly that you would encourage a good relationship between him and your sons but he can only collect them with prior arrangement.

Start to put down your boundaries.

I’m sending you my support pack When Parents Fall Out, which you could pass to him to help explain why you need to co-operate for the future wellbeing of your children.

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Give yourself time and be kind to yourself. He put you down constantly, now you can start to build up your confidence.

I’d recommend seeing a counsellor to help you with this betrayal and am sending you my Counselling support pack.

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