I boast about MYSELF to my daughter – I’ve chatted about sex with her since she was little, says Cherry Healey 0 30

EVERY day telly host Cherry Healey showers herself with compliments in front of daughter Coco, who turns 13 next month.

It’s something she’s been doing for more than a decade after realising she was running the risk of passing on her own deep-rooted anxieties about her body to her children.

TV host Cherry Healey has been talking to her pre-teen daughter about sex for more than a decade InstagramCherry was 28 when she gave birth to daughter Coco[/caption]

Cherry was 28 when she gave birth to Coco in 2009 and quickly realised she would have to change her ways.

She says: “I realised I suffered from a lot of insecurities about my body and I was in danger of passing them on.

“Kids are like sponges and soak up their parents’ behaviour.

“So I try, and sometimes fail, to always make a point of demonstrating what it is to appreciate yourself.

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“One of my tricks is to say nice things about myself in front of my daughter.

“If I’m wearing an outfit I like, I’ll say, ‘I look really good in this, I love this outfit, this really flatters me’.

“Or I’ll get back from work and I’ll say, ‘I did a really good job at work today. I was really energetic. I listened really carefully’.

“It’s had a really positive effect on my own self-esteem. Women should be openly complimentary of themselves and each other.”

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Cherry is not alone when it comes to this trend. A-listers like Lady Gaga and Oprah Winfrey have spoken about their belief in the power of affirmations.

Cherry, now 41, believes others should follow in their footsteps.

She says: “Women have inherited a sense of shame about their bodies. If their bodies bleed, there’s shame around that. If their bodies are not perfect to look at, that’s shame too.

“Shame and women’s bodies go hand in hand. It’s nonsense.

“Women are magical and shame has been an effective way of controlling us by diminishing our confidence. But women are tired of feeling shame around the miraculous bodies we have. Things are changing. Education and sharing stories are smashing that shame into pieces.”

Cherry is now looking at some of these issues affecting women’s bodies in her new Channel 5 show Women’s Health: Breaking The Taboo.

But at home she says she is a real “oversharer” with Coco because she wants to arm her with the knowledge she needs as a young woman.

She says: “From a very young age I’ve talked about periods and the dynamic between a man and woman.

“It’s excruciating for her. But the younger you start it, the less weird it is — because if you never talk about anything like that, then suddenly have a conversation about periods when they’re 12, I think it’s very jarring.”

InstagramCherry says she is a real ‘oversharer’ with Coco[/caption]

One of the topics Cherry looks at in her series is how changing hormones can shape the way alcohol affects women.

She says: “I’ve noticed since turning 40 that alcohol makes me really anxious. Having spoken to lots of women my age, that is a shared experience.

“It feels like as our hormones change we process alcohol differently, and not for the better.”

In the documentary series, screened daily this week at 7pm, Cherry also tackles incontinence, fibroids and the menopause.

She says: “This show is one of the most amazing opportunities, because every time a woman is made aware of the symptoms of something like the menopause, that’s one less woman who’s going to suffer in silence.

“A lot of women become seriously ill from gynaecological cancers because they are nervous about saying the words ‘vagina’ or ‘vulva’ in a doctor’s office.

“But every time you hear some-one say those words with confidence and power, it becomes easier for others to say it.”

‘Sense of shame’

While things are starting to improve for women’s health, when it comes to parenting there is one other big worry for Cherry, who is also mum to Edward, eight.

She says: “The younger generation are lucky to be walking into a much more open arena nowadays, but what do I worry about for Coco?

“I worry how addictive social media is. I worry about how it encourages comparison.”

For now, Cherry, who is in a long-term relationship, is excited to be part of a movement raising awareness about women’s health issues.

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She says of her Channel 5 documentaries: “I feel so privileged. We wanted it to be packed with information, to be a celebration. We wanted to get fantastic women to tell their stories openly.

“To be part of helping women to feel better is what helps me sleep.”

  • Women’s Health: Breaking The Taboos, daily on Channel 5, 7pm, until Friday.
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My bitter ex told lies to my friends about my ‘small manhood’ after I dumped her 0 41

DEAR DEIDRE: MY ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger.

She never complained when we were together, but last week she told the girls in our group that being with me was “like kissing a soggy lettuce leaf” and that she “literally didn’t feel a thing when we were having sex” because I’m so small.

My ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger

I’m 25 and she’s 24. I think part of it is jealousy.

She knows a couple of the other girls fancy me and I think she’s trying to sabotage any chance I have with them.

Not that I’m even planning anything.

She’s so insecure and has a vicious tongue on her.

I’m tempted to let each of her so-called friends know what she really says about them in private.

Even her best friend gets a nasty critique every time she posts anything on Instagram.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Her top is either too short, or her hair looks like wire, or her laugh is fake . . . it goes on and on.

I don’t regret splitting up with her but this last trick has really infuriated me.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t let yourself stoop to her level.

You can make it clear she is lying without playing her game, which would only escalate tensions and reflect badly on you.

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You could maybe reply with: “Let’s just say she never complained when we were together and nor have any of my other exes.”

Your friends will soon see her behaviour for what it is – jealous insecurity.

My partner said he was on a work trip – but he was actually getting married and on his honeymoon 0 28

DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner said he was on a work trip two months ago, but he had actually got married and been on honeymoon.

Our relationship had become a bit predictable, but we still had regular sex and nice days out with our two young sons.

My partner lied about his work trip – he was really on his HONEYMOON

I’m 32 and he’s 37. Our sons are four and two.

When he returned from his “work trip” he blamed me for his cheating, saying I had let myself go and didn’t pay him enough attention.

He then told me he’d “traded up” for a better model. It didn’t stop there.

He said that his wife, who is 27, is absolutely stunning and makes him feel special.

Apparently this woman was a barmaid he’d met on a golf trip and they had been seeing each other for six months.

He told me all this, then marched upstairs and packed his games console and his clothes and drove off out of my life.

The thing is, we always talked about getting married but when we had kids there always seemed something better to spend our money on.

Mutual friends have told me he has moved into a new-build home on the other side of our small town and his wife has plenty of family money.

My sons are really missing him and I don’t even know how I feel.

Sometimes when he comes to visit the boys I beg him to come home.

But other times I’m so angry with him, I refuse to let him in.

Now he is accusing me of stopping him from seeing his children.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Surely he can’t just show up when he likes?

I’m a mess and need to start getting a grip for the kids’ sake.

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DEIDRE SAYS: I’m so sorry your partner ended your relationship in such a cruel way.

This man sounds selfish and immature, and quite frankly the way he has treated you is emotionally abusive.

It won’t feel like it now, but you really are better off without him.

He is behaving like he still lives in your home, by just turning up unannounced.

Tell him firmly that you would encourage a good relationship between him and your sons but he can only collect them with prior arrangement.

Start to put down your boundaries.

I’m sending you my support pack When Parents Fall Out, which you could pass to him to help explain why you need to co-operate for the future wellbeing of your children.

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Give yourself time and be kind to yourself. He put you down constantly, now you can start to build up your confidence.

I’d recommend seeing a counsellor to help you with this betrayal and am sending you my Counselling support pack.

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