I caught my wife having sex with my business partner – I’ve lost everything 0 44

DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN I caught my wife having sex with my business partner, my world fell apart.

Now I can’t even speak to either of them, but my wife claims it was just a stupid mistake.

I was greeted by the worst sight imaginable — my wife straddling my business partner

I’m 38 and she is 39. My business partner, a friend I’ve known since I was a child, is 37.

A week ago, my life was perfect. I had a happy marriage, two lovely children and loved running my successful design business I’d built from nothing.

My wife did the book-keeping and helped with admin.

Sometimes, she’d be alone in the office with my business partner.

I trusted them both. He was like a brother to me, an uncle to my kids.

One afternoon last week, a client cancelled our off-site meeting at the last minute.

I decided to head back to the office as I had a few things to finish. I knew my wife and business partner would both be there.

When I walked back in, I heard strange noises, like moaning.

I was greeted by the worst sight imaginable — my wife straddling my business partner.

He was sitting in his office chair, with his pants around his ankles, and she had her skirt hitched up around her waist.

I was so shocked, I instantly ran to the bathroom to vomit.

When I came out, my wife was crying and my partner had left.

She said it was a moment of madness and that it will never happen again.

But since then, I haven’t been able to go home. I’m staying at my sister’s.

My wife and business partner keep calling but I’m not ready to talk.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

I don’t know how I can stay married, or work with either of them again. All the trust has gone and my life is in pieces.

How will I ever recover?

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DEIDRE SAYS: When the two people you most trust betray you, it is just devastating.

This situation is particularly tough, as it impacts on every aspect of your life – home and work.

My support pack, Cheating – Can You Get Over It? should be helpful to read.

Understandably, you’re not ready to talk to your wife or partner – but in time it would be helpful to understand what happened.

You need to decide if your marriage is worth salvaging.

Of course, as angry as you are with your wife, you need to think of your kids, as they will be confused and upset by your absence.

You may find it helpful to have some counselling as a couple or separately.

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You can find some support through tavistockrelationships.org (020 7380 1960).

As for your business partner, if you feel you can’t work with him again, it may be possible to buy him out.

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My bitter ex told lies to my friends about my ‘small manhood’ after I dumped her 0 41

DEAR DEIDRE: MY ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger.

She never complained when we were together, but last week she told the girls in our group that being with me was “like kissing a soggy lettuce leaf” and that she “literally didn’t feel a thing when we were having sex” because I’m so small.

My ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger

I’m 25 and she’s 24. I think part of it is jealousy.

She knows a couple of the other girls fancy me and I think she’s trying to sabotage any chance I have with them.

Not that I’m even planning anything.

She’s so insecure and has a vicious tongue on her.

I’m tempted to let each of her so-called friends know what she really says about them in private.

Even her best friend gets a nasty critique every time she posts anything on Instagram.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Her top is either too short, or her hair looks like wire, or her laugh is fake . . . it goes on and on.

I don’t regret splitting up with her but this last trick has really infuriated me.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t let yourself stoop to her level.

You can make it clear she is lying without playing her game, which would only escalate tensions and reflect badly on you.

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You could maybe reply with: “Let’s just say she never complained when we were together and nor have any of my other exes.”

Your friends will soon see her behaviour for what it is – jealous insecurity.

My partner said he was on a work trip – but he was actually getting married and on his honeymoon 0 28

DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner said he was on a work trip two months ago, but he had actually got married and been on honeymoon.

Our relationship had become a bit predictable, but we still had regular sex and nice days out with our two young sons.

My partner lied about his work trip – he was really on his HONEYMOON

I’m 32 and he’s 37. Our sons are four and two.

When he returned from his “work trip” he blamed me for his cheating, saying I had let myself go and didn’t pay him enough attention.

He then told me he’d “traded up” for a better model. It didn’t stop there.

He said that his wife, who is 27, is absolutely stunning and makes him feel special.

Apparently this woman was a barmaid he’d met on a golf trip and they had been seeing each other for six months.

He told me all this, then marched upstairs and packed his games console and his clothes and drove off out of my life.

The thing is, we always talked about getting married but when we had kids there always seemed something better to spend our money on.

Mutual friends have told me he has moved into a new-build home on the other side of our small town and his wife has plenty of family money.

My sons are really missing him and I don’t even know how I feel.

Sometimes when he comes to visit the boys I beg him to come home.

But other times I’m so angry with him, I refuse to let him in.

Now he is accusing me of stopping him from seeing his children.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Surely he can’t just show up when he likes?

I’m a mess and need to start getting a grip for the kids’ sake.

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DEIDRE SAYS: I’m so sorry your partner ended your relationship in such a cruel way.

This man sounds selfish and immature, and quite frankly the way he has treated you is emotionally abusive.

It won’t feel like it now, but you really are better off without him.

He is behaving like he still lives in your home, by just turning up unannounced.

Tell him firmly that you would encourage a good relationship between him and your sons but he can only collect them with prior arrangement.

Start to put down your boundaries.

I’m sending you my support pack When Parents Fall Out, which you could pass to him to help explain why you need to co-operate for the future wellbeing of your children.

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Give yourself time and be kind to yourself. He put you down constantly, now you can start to build up your confidence.

I’d recommend seeing a counsellor to help you with this betrayal and am sending you my Counselling support pack.

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