The pandemic ruined our sex lives, but a survey reveals how we’re eyeing up co-workers and turning to romp robots 0 42

AFTER a gruelling few years, our libidos are revving up ahead of a sex-filled future.

One in five of us are having more sex than we did before 2020, according to the 2022 Sex Census by Lelo.

ShutterstockAFTER a gruelling few years because of the pandemic, our libidos are revving up ahead of a sex-filled future[/caption] Stewart Williams – The SunIf you are struggling with a lean patch in your sex life, sexpert Kate Taylor has eight tips to follow, whether you are coupled-up or single[/caption]

The sexual wellness company polled 4,000 adults on their sexual habits over the past 18 months.

Participants were also asked what the future has in store — and the findings make for tantalising reading.

Almost half of us (44 per cent) have had less sex than before — or no sex at all in the past 18 months.

One in ten said they had not so much as kissed another person during that time.

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Instead of working from home, 14 per cent are eyeing up co-workers for hookups.

But in the not-so-distant future we may turn to virtual reality porn or even sex robots to get our kicks, the survey suggests. 

Market-watchers at investment firm Piper Sandler reckon the VR porn industry will be worth £840million by as soon as 2025.

And one in five of us (22 per cent) would consider getting jiggy with a robot.

If you are struggling with a lean patch in your sex life, sexpert Kate Taylor has eight tips to follow, whether you are coupled-up or single. 

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CHILL OUT

GettyToo anxious to feel frisky? Start with a topless massage[/caption]

Sex is a great cure for anxiety, lowering levels of the stress chemical cortisol, stabilising the blood pressure and releasing feel-good endorphins.

Too anxious to feel frisky? Start with a topless massage. Skin-on-skin contact releases oxytocin in the body, helping you feel calmer.

Use a sensual oil containing lavender such as Neal’s Yard aromatic massage oil (lookfantastic.com, £12.50).

COME TOGETHER

GettyRole-play a sexy game in which you are not allowed to touch each other. Then touch yourselves while you both watch[/caption]

It is normal (and OK) to enjoy solo sex in a relationship . . . but it is more fun to DIY together. 

Role-play a sexy game in which you are not allowed to touch each other. Then touch yourselves while you both watch. 

Or bring a remote-controlled sex toy to bed so you can be the boss of each other’s bits. Try the Fusion Love Egg (£42, Ann Summers) for her.

For him, try We-Vibe’s Verge perineum stimulator (£89, we-vibe.com).

EMBRACE APPS

AlamyUse a dating site or app and get a platonic friend of the type you would like to attract to give your profile the once-over before you publish it[/caption]

Forget trawling for love on TikTok or flirting on Facebook. You will only look sleazy, not sexy. 

Asking friends or family to hook you up is also fraught with pitfalls.

Use a dating site or app and get a platonic friend of the type you would like to attract to give your profile the once-over before you publish it. 

Include words known to attract attention. According to a Match study, men send the most messages to women’s profiles that use the word “gaming”, while women write to profiles that mention “family”. 

LIGHTEN UP

Getty – ContributorAim to have FUN rather than simply sex[/caption]

Worrying about your performance or comparing yourself to porn stars will turn sex into work rather than play. Lighten up to reignite your libido. 

Tonight, aim to have FUN rather than simply sex. Put on an upbeat playlist, start a pillow fight and scrawl filthy messages on each other with body pens.

Do an over-the-top striptease or bonk along with your favourite movie sex scene.

GET TECHNICAL

GettyYou might not be ready for an electronic lover yet but you can still enjoy the latest gadgetry to get you there[/caption]

Prepare yourself for a robocop off, as the future of sex tech is VERY bright. You might not be ready for an electronic lover yet but you can still enjoy the latest gadgetry to get you there. 

Try Lelo’s latest hi-tech SILA toy (£135, lelo.com), which uses sonic waves to stimulate her bits.

A VR headset like Meta Quest 2 (£299, Argos) immerses you and your partner in 3-D adult content from sites such as SexLikeReal and VR Bangers. 

PEAK ONCE A WEEK

Draw up a list of sexy thrills you would love to experienceGetty – Contributor

A famous 2015 study found couples only need to have sex once a week to achieve the highest levels of happiness and satisfaction. That gives you 26 more bonks this year. 

Together, draw up a list of 13 sexy thrills you would each love to experience.

Include fantasies, role-playing, positions, foreplay techniques, locations, everything. Take turns to bring one to life every week. 

SWAP YOUR CLOCKS

GettyEarly-morning sex makes the most of men’s natural 7am boost of testosterone.[/caption]

Seventeen per cent of people surveyed said looking after children stopped them having sex.

Parenting little ones can leave couples feeling zonked by bedtime — and teenage offspring can wreck your love life too by keeping odd hours or needing midnight lifts home. 

Before the school summer holidays start, try switching to BST (British Sex Timetable) and make love before the kids wake up.

Early-morning sex makes the most of men’s natural 7am boost of testosterone. 

LOVE YOURSELF

GettyAny time you have a negative thought about how your body looks, immediately think a positive thought about how your body feels[/caption]

Do not body-shame yourself into celibacy. Research has found people with body-confidence issues initiate sex less often and find sex less enjoyable than those who accept themselves. 

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Try a mindful-sex exercise. Any time you have a negative thought about how your body looks, immediately think a positive thought about how your body feels. 

For example, if you think, “My thighs look huge,” follow it with, “I love how it feels when my partner kisses them.” Do it every time and you will become less self-critical.

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My bitter ex told lies to my friends about my ‘small manhood’ after I dumped her 0 40

DEAR DEIDRE: MY ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger.

She never complained when we were together, but last week she told the girls in our group that being with me was “like kissing a soggy lettuce leaf” and that she “literally didn’t feel a thing when we were having sex” because I’m so small.

My ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger

I’m 25 and she’s 24. I think part of it is jealousy.

She knows a couple of the other girls fancy me and I think she’s trying to sabotage any chance I have with them.

Not that I’m even planning anything.

She’s so insecure and has a vicious tongue on her.

I’m tempted to let each of her so-called friends know what she really says about them in private.

Even her best friend gets a nasty critique every time she posts anything on Instagram.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Her top is either too short, or her hair looks like wire, or her laugh is fake . . . it goes on and on.

I don’t regret splitting up with her but this last trick has really infuriated me.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t let yourself stoop to her level.

You can make it clear she is lying without playing her game, which would only escalate tensions and reflect badly on you.

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You could maybe reply with: “Let’s just say she never complained when we were together and nor have any of my other exes.”

Your friends will soon see her behaviour for what it is – jealous insecurity.

My partner said he was on a work trip – but he was actually getting married and on his honeymoon 0 28

DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner said he was on a work trip two months ago, but he had actually got married and been on honeymoon.

Our relationship had become a bit predictable, but we still had regular sex and nice days out with our two young sons.

My partner lied about his work trip – he was really on his HONEYMOON

I’m 32 and he’s 37. Our sons are four and two.

When he returned from his “work trip” he blamed me for his cheating, saying I had let myself go and didn’t pay him enough attention.

He then told me he’d “traded up” for a better model. It didn’t stop there.

He said that his wife, who is 27, is absolutely stunning and makes him feel special.

Apparently this woman was a barmaid he’d met on a golf trip and they had been seeing each other for six months.

He told me all this, then marched upstairs and packed his games console and his clothes and drove off out of my life.

The thing is, we always talked about getting married but when we had kids there always seemed something better to spend our money on.

Mutual friends have told me he has moved into a new-build home on the other side of our small town and his wife has plenty of family money.

My sons are really missing him and I don’t even know how I feel.

Sometimes when he comes to visit the boys I beg him to come home.

But other times I’m so angry with him, I refuse to let him in.

Now he is accusing me of stopping him from seeing his children.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Surely he can’t just show up when he likes?

I’m a mess and need to start getting a grip for the kids’ sake.

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I caught my husband snogging my sister – how am I meant to trust him again?

DEIDRE SAYS: I’m so sorry your partner ended your relationship in such a cruel way.

This man sounds selfish and immature, and quite frankly the way he has treated you is emotionally abusive.

It won’t feel like it now, but you really are better off without him.

He is behaving like he still lives in your home, by just turning up unannounced.

Tell him firmly that you would encourage a good relationship between him and your sons but he can only collect them with prior arrangement.

Start to put down your boundaries.

I’m sending you my support pack When Parents Fall Out, which you could pass to him to help explain why you need to co-operate for the future wellbeing of your children.

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Give yourself time and be kind to yourself. He put you down constantly, now you can start to build up your confidence.

I’d recommend seeing a counsellor to help you with this betrayal and am sending you my Counselling support pack.

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