I caught my wife having sex with our neighbour – she’s cheated with nine blokes Comments Off on I caught my wife having sex with our neighbour – she’s cheated with nine blokes 328

DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN I came home from work early one day I was horrified to find my wife performing a sex act on our neighbour.

To add insult to injury, she was giving him oral, and she has never done that for me in the ten years we’ve been married — she told me she found the idea disgusting.

I found my wife cheating with another man

It turns out he’s just one of her many lovers.

I guess I didn’t get the memo saying we were in an open marriage.

I am 40 and she is 38. I have been faithful to her since the day we met.

Perhaps I’m naive, but I never suspected she was cheating on me.

I thought she didn’t like sex much.

She has always wanted to do it with the lights off, and she would never try anything new. I put up with it because I loved her so much.

Now I know she just didn’t like sex with me.

I only found out about her infidelity because I got a migraine at work last week.

I felt so bad I had to leave the office early to come home to rest. My wife wasn’t working that day and I was hoping for tea and sympathy.

Instead, I found her head buried in a man’s naked lap, while he lay back on my sofa.

For a second I thought I was going to throw up. Then I shouted at him to leave, threw his trousers at him, and he ran out of my house.

My wife said she was sorry I’d seen that, but I was overreacting because it meant nothing.

When I pressed her, she admitted having had at least nine lovers since we were married.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to [email protected]

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

I don’t know who she is any more.

I’ve never felt so much pain. She thinks I should forgive and forget, but I don’t see a way forward in my marriage.

Most read in Dear Deidre

DEAR DEIDRE

My wife has left me for our son's headteacher and the whole town are talking

BOTTLED IT

My fiancé swears at me and puts me down every time he gets drunk

NOT-SO-SWEET DREAMS

I fantasise about my wife's friends when we make love

HARD AT WORK

My new job makes me feel so stressed that I've started having panic attacks

SILENT TREATMENT

I finally met my online girlfriend in person – then she ghosted me

JUST CALL ME CINDERELLA

My parents make me do all the chores while my siblings do nothing

DEIDRE SAYS: You have had a horrible shock, not just seeing your wife have sex with another man, but also learning that she has cheated throughout your marriage.

Right now, totally understandably, you want to walk away from your marriage.

But it sounds like until this incident, you were generally happy with your wife.

Once the shock wears off, it’s possible you will want to attempt to put this behind you and try again.

My support pack Cheating, Can You Get Over It? may then be of use.

If you are to have a future, your wife will need to talk to you about your sex life honestly, so you can understand what went wrong and get to the root cause of her multiple liaisons.

MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE

DEIDRE’S STORIES

Alana’s mum realises she has been rating her dates on TikTok

DEAR DEIDRE

I can’t get hard with my wife, but have no trouble with my lovers

Relationship counselling – alone and/or together – could help you work through your feelings.

You can find support at tavistockrelationships.org (020 7380 1960).

Previous ArticleNext Article

Managing Relationships While Working in the Adult Industry Comments Off on Managing Relationships While Working in the Adult Industry 299

Navigating romantic relationships can be complex, and this complexity often intensifies when one or both partners are involved in the adult industry. In this guide, we’ll explore practical strategies for maintaining healthy relationships, fostering open communication, and addressing challenges that may arise when one’s profession involves adult entertainment.

1. Open Communication:

Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship, especially when working in the adult industry. Establishing open and honest communication channels helps build trust and understanding between partners.

Example: Provide communication tips, such as setting aside dedicated time for discussions, creating a judgment-free zone, and actively listening to each other’s concerns.

2. Establishing Boundaries:

Clearly defining and respecting boundaries is crucial for both partners. Discussing comfort levels, expectations, and limits ensures that both individuals feel secure in the relationship.

Example: Offer guidance on how to have constructive conversations about boundaries, emphasizing the importance of mutual consent and compromise.

3. Building a Support System:

Developing a robust support system is essential. This includes friends, family, or colleagues who understand and respect the nature of the profession and can offer support during challenging times.

Example: Share stories of couples who have successfully built strong support systems and provide tips on how to nurture these networks.

4. Trust and Transparency:

Trust is a cornerstone of any relationship but becomes even more critical when working in the adult industry. Being transparent about one’s work and addressing concerns promptly helps foster trust between partners.

Example: Illustrate the positive outcomes of trust-building actions, such as being open about work schedules, discussing potential challenges, and offering reassurance.

5. Educating Partners:

Sometimes, misunderstandings arise due to lack of knowledge. Educating partners about the adult industry, its dynamics, and dispelling common myths can promote a better understanding of the profession.

Example: Create a guide for individuals to share with their partners, explaining the realities of the adult industry, emphasizing the consensual nature of the work, and addressing misconceptions.

6. Coping with External Judgments:

Working in the adult industry often comes with societal stigma. Discuss strategies for coping with external judgments and maintaining a strong sense of self-worth within the relationship.

Example: Share empowering stories of individuals who have successfully navigated societal stigma, emphasizing self-love and resilience.

7. Seeking Professional Guidance:

Relationships can benefit from professional guidance. Encouraging couples to seek counseling or therapy when faced with challenges can provide a neutral space for communication and support.

Example: Highlight success stories of couples who have sought therapy to strengthen their relationship and provide resources for finding qualified professionals.

8. Planning for the Future:

Discussing future plans is vital for any couple. Addressing long-term goals, such as career transitions or family planning, helps both partners feel secure and invested in the relationship.

Example: Offer advice on creating a shared vision for the future, navigating career changes, and making joint decisions that align with both partners’ aspirations.

Conclusion:

Successfully managing relationships while working in the adult industry requires a combination of open communication, trust-building, and a proactive approach to addressing challenges. By fostering understanding, establishing clear boundaries, and seeking support when needed, couples can build strong, resilient relationships that thrive despite the unique demands of the profession. Remember, every relationship is unique, and adapting these strategies to suit individual needs is key to a fulfilling and supportive partnership.

Understanding and Navigating the World of Online Adult Content Comments Off on Understanding and Navigating the World of Online Adult Content 285

The internet has transformed the way we access and consume information, including adult content. Navigating this vast and often complex digital landscape requires understanding, responsibility, and respect. In this guide, we’ll explore key aspects of online adult content, helping you make informed choices while ensuring a safe and enjoyable experience.

1. Diverse Platforms and Formats:

Online adult content is not confined to a single platform or format. From websites and streaming services to interactive content, understanding the variety available is essential.

Example: Differentiate between mainstream adult websites, premium subscription services, and emerging interactive platforms, providing a glimpse into the diverse options.

2. Privacy and Security:

Respecting privacy is crucial when engaging with adult content online. This includes understanding the importance of secure connections, anonymous browsing, and being mindful of personal data.

Example: Provide tips on using virtual private networks (VPNs), secure payment methods, and the importance of reading privacy policies on adult websites.

3. Responsible Consumption:

Consuming adult content responsibly involves being aware of ethical considerations. This includes consent, avoiding illegal content, and understanding the potential impact on relationships.

Example: Share stories or case studies illustrating the importance of responsible consumption and the potential consequences of engaging with non-consensual or illegal content.

4. Age Verification and Restrictions:

Most countries have regulations regarding the access to adult content, often requiring age verification. Understanding and complying with these regulations is vital for legal and ethical reasons.

Example: Provide a step-by-step guide on age verification processes on different platforms and emphasize the importance of adherence to legal requirements.

5. Impact on Mental Health:

Consuming adult content can have varying effects on mental health. It’s crucial to be aware of the potential impact and seek support if needed.

Example: Discuss the potential consequences of excessive consumption, addiction, or unrealistic expectations, and provide resources for mental health support.

6. Consent and Ethical Production:

Understanding the concept of consent extends to the production of adult content. Ethical consumption involves supporting platforms and creators that prioritize the well-being and consent of performers.

Example: Showcase initiatives or platforms that prioritize ethical production, emphasize performer rights, and provide fair compensation.

7. Balancing Fantasies with Reality:

Distinguishing between fantasy and reality is important when consuming adult content. Developing a healthy perspective on sexuality involves recognizing the difference between scripted entertainment and real-life relationships.

Example: Share anecdotes or expert opinions on how to maintain a balanced view of sexuality and relationships while consuming adult content.

8. Community and Education:

Online communities and educational resources play a role in promoting healthy discussions about adult content. Engaging with like-minded individuals and staying informed contributes to a positive online experience.

Example: Highlight reputable online forums or educational platforms where individuals can learn more about various aspects of adult content, share experiences, and ask questions.

Conclusion:

Navigating the world of online adult content requires a balanced approach, combining awareness, responsibility, and respect. By understanding the diverse landscape, prioritizing privacy and security, and promoting ethical consumption, individuals can ensure a positive and consensual online experience. Remember, responsible engagement contributes to a healthier digital environment for both consumers and content creators alike.

Most Popular Topics

Editor Picks