Are you a sweet talker or a gold-digger? Take our quiz to find out YOUR love language 0 49

SCIENTISTS have found that you can find your perfect match by sharing the same “love language”.

This is the way you express and like to receive love.

ShutterstockAre you a sweet talker or a gold-digger? Take our quiz to find out YOUR love language[/caption]

Based on Dr Gary Chapman’s 1992 book, The Five Love Languages, they are enjoying words of affirmation, spending quality time together, gift-giving or receiving, acts of service and physical touch.
Researchers in Poland put the theory into practice for the first time recently.

The study of 100 couples found that relationships standing the test of time was down to both partners sharing love languages.

Nikki Watkins invites you to take our quiz and find out your love lingo.

1) YOU’RE on holiday with a lover. What is the perfect way for it to end?

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A. Your lover gives you a handwritten card telling you what a fantastic time they had.

B. The special person suggests extending the trip by another day or so.

C. Being whisked off to a shop and asked to choose something as a holiday memento.

D. Your partner getting up extra early to pack your case for you, so you don’t have to.

E. Saying goodbye to your room by passionately making love.

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2) YOU’VE not seen your parent for ages. How do you let them know you’re missing them?

A. Bombard them with texts full of heart and hug emojis and tell them how much you love them.

B. Book a date to spend the whole day with them, doing something they love.

C. Send them a pricey gift through the post — your family are big on pressies.

D. Pop round to help them sort out their garden or DIY project, even if they’re out.

E. Drop everything and rush over to theirs to give them a big hug.

GettyGift-giving and receiving is one of five languages[/caption]

3) YOUR washing machine has flooded and there is mess everywhere. Which of the following scenarios makes you feel better?

A. Your friend calling to reassure you that everything will be OK.

B. A pal offering to come and take you out for lunch to escape the chaos.

C. A loved one turning up with a bunch of flowers and a box of chocolates.

D. Friends turning up with mops and buckets to start cleaning up the mess.

E. Your partner wrapping you up in a massive hug after this stressful day.

4) YOU’VE just started a new relationship – what makes you feel like it is going well?

A. Your new partner showers you with compliments and sends you sweet notes.

B. That special someone ditches plans to whisk you away for the weekend.

C. Your new lover sends you a big bouquet of romantic roses in the post.

D. The new flame sees your dirty car and puts on his scruffs to wash it, leaving it sparkling.

E. You can’t keep your hands off each other — from cuddles to making love.

5) HOW would you most like to spend a Saturday with your partner?

A. A night out with a group of mutual friends, with your partner saying how gorgeous you look.

B. At home, where you have a romantic dinner chatting about hopes and dreams.

C. A fancy meal out, which your other half pays for.

D. Your partner cleaning the house and giving you a foot rub.

E. On the sofa together, with them affectionately playing with your hair or massaging you.

6) A WEEKEND has opened up. Which of the following activities makes you feel the happiest?

A. Meeting up with your friends for lunch, where they all say that you look fabulous and are smashing life.

B. A night away with a pal where the two of you put the world to rights.

C. Birthday or Christmas gift shopping for your nearest and dearest.

D. Your friend helping you to decorate the spare room, which you’ve been putting off doing.

E. Hanging out with your best friend who always meets you with a hug and kiss.

7) IT is the anniversary of the passing of someone important to you. How do you prefer loved ones to show you they care?

A. A card arrives from your old school friend, saying how much that person loved you.

B. Your partner or friend spends the evening with you, offering a shoulder to cry on.

C. A beautifully wrapped parcel arrives on your doorstep — eight handmade brownies.

D. A special someone knows you won’t want to go out so drops off a bag of groceries.

E. Your sibling clears their evening to take you on a long walk, where you stroll arm-in-arm.

GettyMany people’s love language is receiving kind gifts and practical gestures[/caption]

8) IN previous relationships, which of the following have made you feel like things are on the rocks?

A. They or you stopped saying “I love you” as much.

B. You drifted, spending less time together and more time doing things with friends.

C. You stopped caring as much about the gifts you bought them, or they gave you.

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D. The things they used to enjoy doing for you — like cooking — fell by the wayside.

E. Hand-holding, cuddles or sex started to fizzle out.

AND HERE IS WHAT YOUR SCORE MEANS…

MOSTLY As: SWEET TALK

You appreciate words of affirmation. What your partner says to you means everything. You live for the lovely words people say.

You keep romantic greeting cards forever, save voice notes, and can be won over with a well-written text.

You also show your own love through words, dishing out compliments.
But be careful: You can be charmed by smooth-talkers.

WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY: Love letters go straight to your heart.

MOSTLY Bs: TOGETHERNESS

You crave quality time with your partner. You don’t care what you do as long as you do it side by side.

Sometimes people feel you are clingy, but you feel safer when given attention. The perfect partner is compatible with your interests or your life will be a compromise.
WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY: A weekend in a remote cottage with no TV, no wi-fi, just your other half.

MOSTLY Cs: PRESENTS

You love receiving gifts. Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries – they don’t mean a thing if they aren’t celebrated with carefully chosen pressies.

You are generous to a fault and you enjoy showering people you love with gifts, sometimes even very early on in relationships.

WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY: When a partner remembers you talking about something, and dashes to the shop to buy it for you.

MOSTLY Ds: HELPFULNESS

Acts of service are key for you. You are all about actions, like someone doing a chore for you without being asked.

You are a lover of considerate, practical gestures that require thought and effort. As a partner you’re low key, but always there for people when they need support. If your thoughtfulness isn’t noticed and appreciated that kills your feelings forever. You’re kind, but you’re not a mug.

WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY: When a partner makes you a cuppa just how you like it and then stacks the dirty mug in the dishwasher.

MOSTLY Es: PHYSICAL INTIMACY

You’re all about physical touch. This means that everything you feel, you express through your body. From hand-holding, to touching someone’s arm affectionately.

In a relationship, sex is incredibly important to you, and you’ll use it to express every emotion.

You need to be with a partner who’s equally touchy-feely or you’ll feel isolated.

WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY: A hotel room with room-service and an Emperor-size bed.

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My bitter ex told lies to my friends about my ‘small manhood’ after I dumped her 0 47

DEAR DEIDRE: MY ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger.

She never complained when we were together, but last week she told the girls in our group that being with me was “like kissing a soggy lettuce leaf” and that she “literally didn’t feel a thing when we were having sex” because I’m so small.

My ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger

I’m 25 and she’s 24. I think part of it is jealousy.

She knows a couple of the other girls fancy me and I think she’s trying to sabotage any chance I have with them.

Not that I’m even planning anything.

She’s so insecure and has a vicious tongue on her.

I’m tempted to let each of her so-called friends know what she really says about them in private.

Even her best friend gets a nasty critique every time she posts anything on Instagram.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Her top is either too short, or her hair looks like wire, or her laugh is fake . . . it goes on and on.

I don’t regret splitting up with her but this last trick has really infuriated me.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t let yourself stoop to her level.

You can make it clear she is lying without playing her game, which would only escalate tensions and reflect badly on you.

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You could maybe reply with: “Let’s just say she never complained when we were together and nor have any of my other exes.”

Your friends will soon see her behaviour for what it is – jealous insecurity.

My partner said he was on a work trip – but he was actually getting married and on his honeymoon 0 30

DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner said he was on a work trip two months ago, but he had actually got married and been on honeymoon.

Our relationship had become a bit predictable, but we still had regular sex and nice days out with our two young sons.

My partner lied about his work trip – he was really on his HONEYMOON

I’m 32 and he’s 37. Our sons are four and two.

When he returned from his “work trip” he blamed me for his cheating, saying I had let myself go and didn’t pay him enough attention.

He then told me he’d “traded up” for a better model. It didn’t stop there.

He said that his wife, who is 27, is absolutely stunning and makes him feel special.

Apparently this woman was a barmaid he’d met on a golf trip and they had been seeing each other for six months.

He told me all this, then marched upstairs and packed his games console and his clothes and drove off out of my life.

The thing is, we always talked about getting married but when we had kids there always seemed something better to spend our money on.

Mutual friends have told me he has moved into a new-build home on the other side of our small town and his wife has plenty of family money.

My sons are really missing him and I don’t even know how I feel.

Sometimes when he comes to visit the boys I beg him to come home.

But other times I’m so angry with him, I refuse to let him in.

Now he is accusing me of stopping him from seeing his children.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Surely he can’t just show up when he likes?

I’m a mess and need to start getting a grip for the kids’ sake.

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DEIDRE SAYS: I’m so sorry your partner ended your relationship in such a cruel way.

This man sounds selfish and immature, and quite frankly the way he has treated you is emotionally abusive.

It won’t feel like it now, but you really are better off without him.

He is behaving like he still lives in your home, by just turning up unannounced.

Tell him firmly that you would encourage a good relationship between him and your sons but he can only collect them with prior arrangement.

Start to put down your boundaries.

I’m sending you my support pack When Parents Fall Out, which you could pass to him to help explain why you need to co-operate for the future wellbeing of your children.

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Give yourself time and be kind to yourself. He put you down constantly, now you can start to build up your confidence.

I’d recommend seeing a counsellor to help you with this betrayal and am sending you my Counselling support pack.

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