I’m a sex expert – here’s why women should run a hot bath and 9 other ways to get better orgasms 0 60

BRITAIN’S bedrooms are divided – and it’s time to fill the gap.

Women are only having one orgasm to every three for a man, according to research.

GettySexpert Kate Taylor gives a guide for both him and her that will guarantee parallel pleasure[/caption]

But how can we ensure equality in the passion department? Here, sexpert Kate Taylor gives a guide for both him and her that will guarantee parallel pleasure.

FOOD

Getty – ContributorBerries contain zinc, which can improve your sexual response[/caption]

YOU “aaaah” what you eat when it comes to orgasmic potential. So here’s how to chomp your way to paradise.

FOR HER: Strawberries, blackberries and blue-berries all pack a passion punch.

They contain high levels of vitamin C, which helps your body produce oxytocin, the bonding hormone which creates feelings of affection and closeness. Berries also contain zinc, which can improve your sexual response.

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FOR HIM: Salmon, herring and sardines all contain loads of omega-3 fatty acids. This unsexy-sounding compound helps boost cardiovascular health, so you’ll get more blood flow down below.

Omega-3 can also increase your desire to perform, keeping you focused on pleasing your partner.

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DRINK

GettyOne glass of wine can improve your chances of having an orgasm[/caption]

CLEVER quaffing can help your boffing. Cheers!

FOR HER: One glass of wine, a shot or a single cocktail can improve your chances of having an orgasm because booze boosts your body confidence and helps gets you in the mood.

But go easy, excessive alcohol interferes with your arousal, making sex dry and uncomfortable, and can make it harder to reach climax. Swap the second G&T for a glass of libido-boosting pomegranate juice.

FOR HIM: Get a watermelon sugar high by drinking a glass of the juice before bed. It contains lycopene, which has a Viagra-like effect on your circulation, giving you more stamina.

EXERCISE

GettyRegular exercise boosts women’s enjoyment of sex and massively ups their body confidence[/caption]

YOU can HIIT the high notes by making the right moves.

FOR HER: Any exercise will improve your sexual response. Studies repeatedly show regular exercise boosts women’s enjoyment of sex and massively ups their body confidence (even if their appearance doesn’t change).

Work your lower abdomen with the plank move or walking lunges. Both tighten your pelvic floor and help increase the intensity of your orgasm.

FOR HIM: Your pubococcygeal (pelvic floor) muscles control your bladder and your erections. Master these and you’ll gain control over how quickly you climax.

Try Kegel exercises. Imagine you’re bursting for the loo, and squeeze these muscles to hold it in. Hold the squeeze for ten seconds, then release. Repeat ten times, three times every day.

SUPPLEMENTS

CAN you pop a magic pill and make your orgasms limitless? Sadly, no. But some medications and minerals might do the trick.

FOR HER: Vitamin B Complex, L-arginine and zinc (taken together) have been shown to help revive the desire for sexual connection. Or try Moon Juice’s Sex Dust (£39, Cult Beauty). It contains natural aphrodisiacs such as maca and shatavari root.

FOR HIM: If you regularly orgasm in under 1-2 minutes, you might be suffering from premature ejaculation. An over-the-counter pill such as Priligy can help. Or try EMLA cream, which contains a mild anaesthetic to buy you some time. Both from Boots and Superdrug.

TIMING

GettySome women find it most satisfying the day before their cycle starts[/caption]

WITH orgasms, it’s not what you do but when you do.

FOR HER: Your chances of reaching an orgasm ebb and flow during your cycle. In theory, ovulation (days 11-14) is the peak time, as high levels of oestrogen and increased lubrication make sex more pleasurable. But some women find it most satisfying the day before their cycle starts because of changes in the uterus. Best advice: Just do it every day and see.

FOR HIM: Avoid starting your day with a bang. Raised testosterone levels around 7am mean your excitement is at its highest and you won’t last as long. Instead, try a night-time canoodle. A 2018 study found women’s libido peaks at 9pm, so this is when she’ll be most responsive.

GAMING

GettyChallenge your partner to a game of FIFA to boost your chances of climaxing[/caption]

PILLOW fights and a PlayStation can boost your chances of climaxing.

FOR HER: Want a natural boost to your testosterone levels? Yes, women have testosterone too, and it dramatically affects the ability to orgasm. Try a pillow fight, strip poker or see who can get undressed the fastest. Any competition — including challenging your partner to a game of FIFA — can raise your testosterone.

FOR HIM: Fire up your Xbox to control your climax. One study found that men who gamed for more than an hour a day were less likely to suffer premature ejaculation.

RELAX

POWERFUL orgasms start in your mind. Here’s how to achieve inner bliss.

FOR HER: Stress and anxiety are the most common reasons women don’t reach orgasm. Tantric breathing before sex can help you go from frazzled to dazzled.

Inhale through your nose for four seconds, hold for seven, then exhale through your mouth for eight seconds. Repeat three times.

FOR HIM: Try creating an intimate connection before sex to help you notice and match your partner’s arousal levels. The easiest way is eye gazing. Sit or lie facing your partner and look into their eyes for 30 seconds. (Avoid doing it during sex as it’s incredibly unsexy).

KNOWLEDGE

GettyRun a hot bath and spend time getting to know every area of yourself — from your mouth, to your neck, boobs, bum, inner thighs, bits and feet[/caption]

LEARN how to get to grips with your bits.

FOR HER: Don’t wait for a partner to awaken your erogenous zones. The more you know what works for your body, the more confident you’ll feel asking for it during sex.

Run a hot bath and spend time getting to know every area of yourself — from your mouth, to your neck, boobs, bum, inner thighs, bits and feet — and discover how each of them responds to different kinds of pressure and touch.

FOR HIM: Recent YouGov figures showed that a shocking 31 per cent of men still don’t know where the clitoris is. If you’re one of them, ask your partner for a guided tour, pointing out areas of interest. Watch and learn exactly how she touches herself so you can use those same moves during sex.

FOREPLAY

GettyWe’re much more likely to climax if our sexual encounter includes deep kissing, manual stimulation and oral sex[/caption]

IT’S all in the pre-match preparation.

FOR HER: You can’t hurry, love. It takes most women around 14 minutes to orgasm (fellas, only four minutes) and we’re much more likely to climax if our sexual encounter includes deep kissing, manual stimulation and oral sex, as well as the basic in-and-out.

Don’t feel guilty about needing a warm-up — show your partner how much you’re enjoying his attention and he won’t begrudge you a single year of it.

FOR HIM: Foreplay is essential, but it doesn’t always have to happen before sex. If you feel your excitement building too fast during bonking, switch back to pleasuring your partner with your hands or mouth until you’re more in sync.

POSITIONS

GettyTry Spoons or Girl On Top, and use your hands to stimulate her[/caption]

TWEAK your sexual positions so they help you reach the finish line together.

FOR HER: Orgasm through penetration alone is rare, most women need clitoral attention to climax. Here’s how to make standard positions hit the spot.

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In Doggy, lie down flat on the bed instead of going on to all fours. Press and grind yourself into the mattress, so that every thrust stimulates your bits. In Missionary, squeeze your legs tightly together (instead of wrapping them round his waist) and keep your bodies pressed together during the ride.

FOR HIM: Forget your favourite high-impact thrusty moves. Focus on slow, sensual sex to give her time to build up to your level of arousal.
Try Spoons or Girl On Top, and use your hands to stimulate her clitoris in firm, circular motions.

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My bitter ex told lies to my friends about my ‘small manhood’ after I dumped her 0 47

DEAR DEIDRE: MY ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger.

She never complained when we were together, but last week she told the girls in our group that being with me was “like kissing a soggy lettuce leaf” and that she “literally didn’t feel a thing when we were having sex” because I’m so small.

My ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger

I’m 25 and she’s 24. I think part of it is jealousy.

She knows a couple of the other girls fancy me and I think she’s trying to sabotage any chance I have with them.

Not that I’m even planning anything.

She’s so insecure and has a vicious tongue on her.

I’m tempted to let each of her so-called friends know what she really says about them in private.

Even her best friend gets a nasty critique every time she posts anything on Instagram.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Her top is either too short, or her hair looks like wire, or her laugh is fake . . . it goes on and on.

I don’t regret splitting up with her but this last trick has really infuriated me.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t let yourself stoop to her level.

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You could maybe reply with: “Let’s just say she never complained when we were together and nor have any of my other exes.”

Your friends will soon see her behaviour for what it is – jealous insecurity.

My partner said he was on a work trip – but he was actually getting married and on his honeymoon 0 30

DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner said he was on a work trip two months ago, but he had actually got married and been on honeymoon.

Our relationship had become a bit predictable, but we still had regular sex and nice days out with our two young sons.

My partner lied about his work trip – he was really on his HONEYMOON

I’m 32 and he’s 37. Our sons are four and two.

When he returned from his “work trip” he blamed me for his cheating, saying I had let myself go and didn’t pay him enough attention.

He then told me he’d “traded up” for a better model. It didn’t stop there.

He said that his wife, who is 27, is absolutely stunning and makes him feel special.

Apparently this woman was a barmaid he’d met on a golf trip and they had been seeing each other for six months.

He told me all this, then marched upstairs and packed his games console and his clothes and drove off out of my life.

The thing is, we always talked about getting married but when we had kids there always seemed something better to spend our money on.

Mutual friends have told me he has moved into a new-build home on the other side of our small town and his wife has plenty of family money.

My sons are really missing him and I don’t even know how I feel.

Sometimes when he comes to visit the boys I beg him to come home.

But other times I’m so angry with him, I refuse to let him in.

Now he is accusing me of stopping him from seeing his children.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Surely he can’t just show up when he likes?

I’m a mess and need to start getting a grip for the kids’ sake.

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DEAR DEIDRE

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DEIDRE SAYS: I’m so sorry your partner ended your relationship in such a cruel way.

This man sounds selfish and immature, and quite frankly the way he has treated you is emotionally abusive.

It won’t feel like it now, but you really are better off without him.

He is behaving like he still lives in your home, by just turning up unannounced.

Tell him firmly that you would encourage a good relationship between him and your sons but he can only collect them with prior arrangement.

Start to put down your boundaries.

I’m sending you my support pack When Parents Fall Out, which you could pass to him to help explain why you need to co-operate for the future wellbeing of your children.

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Give yourself time and be kind to yourself. He put you down constantly, now you can start to build up your confidence.

I’d recommend seeing a counsellor to help you with this betrayal and am sending you my Counselling support pack.

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