It makes sense to have a toyboy in your sixties… (it’s biology) Comments Off on It makes sense to have a toyboy in your sixties… (it’s biology) 337

IN her new film, Oscar-winning actress Emma Thompson plays a widow who hires a young escort to reignite her sex life. And it is striking a chord with older women, including author Kathy Lette, 63.

Here, the best-selling writer explains why she and her friends are embarking on relationships with toyboys – and why these young men find mature women so sexy.

AlamyIn her new film, Oscar-winning actress Emma Thompson plays a widow who hires a young escort to reignite her sex life[/caption]’s ex Ahlamalik Williams was 35 years her junior[/caption] Neil CooperAuthor Kathy Lette explains why she and her friends are embarking on relationships with toyboys[/caption]

Age shouldn’t matter — unless you’re into vintage wine.

But sadly, while men are encouraged to keep sowing whole plantations of wild oats, older women get put out to sexual pasture.

Men are given “silver fox” status and loaded up with vitamin V, but women my age are often dismissed as crones, hags and old bags.

We’re led to believe we have the sexual magnetism of a half-thawed rissole. I can’t believe the Pope isn’t ringing us up for tips on celibacy.

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But post-menopause, we are actually in our sexual prime. Which is why new flick Good Luck To You, Leo Grande resonates with my age group.

The fabulous Emma Thompson, 63, plays retired widow Nancy, who has never had an orgasm — so she hires a young male sex worker.

At the end of the film, newly liberated, she stands naked before the mirror, content and totally comfortable in her skin.

This film strikes a cinematic chord — so many of my post-menopausal pals are keeping fit by doing the horizontal tango with a hot-to-trot toyboy.

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Recently widowed or newly divorced, many women my age have taken younger lovers and are rarely vertical.

After two amicable divorces, I am now happily ensconced with a man eight years my junior.

The majority of divorces are now instigated by women, and the peak time is when husbands retire.

From honeymoon to tomb can be 70 to 80 years nowadays — and that’s a long time to find each other’s anecdotes interesting.

But the decision to split can also be attributed to hormonal changes. Post-menopause, a drop in oestrogen and an increase in testosterone means women get a little more selfish.

We can put ourselves first, for the first time in our lives.

For men, the opposite is true. As blokes age, their testosterone dips and oestrogen increases. Which is why, once retired, they often want to stay at home and “nest”.

But women have nested! We’ve buttered acres of toast and baked flocks of lambs and whole schools of salmon. We now want to go up Everest and down the Amazon.

And, liberated from the school run and homework duties, we have more time to devote to pleasure.

If a woman is healthy in middle age, then she’ll probably live to 96, which means there’s a hell of a lot of sexcapades still to be enjoyed.


And thanks to the internet, she can do so.

Even girlfriends who’ve always been catty about mouse pad pairings are now busy striking up online relationships.

Most have been on so many blind dates they should be given a free dog. And the majority of fellas they’re hooking up with are younger.

This makes biological sense. The male of the species reaches his sexual peak in his late teens; the female of the species, after 50.

Recently widowed or newly divorced, many women my age have taken younger lovers and are rarely vertical. After two amicable divorces, I am now happily ensconced with a man eight years my junior.

Here’s what makes older women so sexy — great sex is about being relaxed and not giving a hoot what others think about us.

Which is why we don’t feel the need to wax off every body hair. We are also uninhibited.

Having stripped down to your bra on public transport to alleviate a hot flush, what could ever embarrass you again? It’s time mature women were afforded the same sexual freedom as older men, with no judgement or stigma attached.

The sublime House Of Cards actress Robin Wright, 56, has talked about the sensational sex she experienced with her ex-boyfriend, actor Ben Foster, who is 15 years younger.

She said: “I’ve never laughed more, read more, or come more.”

And as one of my girlfriends in her late sixties told me: “I like to have sex when I’m sad. I like to have sex when I’m happy.

“I like to have sex in the morning. I like to have sex in the evenings. I like to have tantric sex for hours and hours.

“I like to have quick-fix sex standing up backwards over the kitchen table. Otherwise, I don’t have sex unless I’m really, really horny.”

So you see, a younger man with an older woman makes perfect sense.

Of course, there will be negative comments.

“So, where did you two meet?” a male acquaintance asked after I introduced my boyfriend, “an archaeological dig?”

Another wanted to know if I was going to date him or adopt him.

My girlfriend, whose lover is 30 years her junior, is constantly told that, “Where there’s a will, he clearly wants to be in it.”

The best things in life really are free — laughing, talking, walking, oxygen and orgasms.

In fact, orgasms are a lot like oxygen; no big deal unless you’re not getting any.

And so, to women my age I would say, forget anti-ageing creams, cosmetic surgery and fad diets. Simply put a toy boy on your menu.

Go forth, be fabulous and put the sex into sexagenarian.

  • Kathy Lette has written 20 books, including HRT – Husband Replacement Therapy. She hopes to create a new life-affirming literary genre for older women called I Don’t Give A S**t Lit.

AP:Associated PressFrench President Emmanuel Macron’s wife Brigitte is 25 years his senior[/caption] Susan Sarandon and ex Jonathan Bricklin had a 31-year age gapRex


DIVORCED Jan West, 60, says that she is having the best sex of her life with forklift truck driver Aled Saint, 49, who she met seven months ago. Jan, from Swansea, says:

“I’ve been married, divorced and had long-term relationships. But sex was never that good in my younger years.

CollectDivorced Jan West, 60, says that she is having the best sex of her life with forklift truck driver Aled Saint, 49[/caption]

One ex wanted to make love in the morning, but I’m not a morning person. Another never gave cuddles and wasn’t loving towards me.

Until now, sex was boring, fumbling and routine.

Or there was the “let’s get on with it” attitude.

My needs were never met and I wondered what all the fuss was about as far as sex was concerned.

Following my divorce in 2010 after 17 years of marriage and after dating other men who were useless in bed, I didn’t see the point of starting another committed relationship.

I had been single for two years when I met Aled, whose nickname is Snowy, at a New Year’s party. We danced and talked – and I instantly fancied him.

When he told me he was 11 years younger, I hesitated because of the age gap.

But he was charming and romantic, always giving me compliments and he didn’t care about my age.

As for the sex – it blew my mind. I thought I would be nervous about getting undressed in front of Snowy.

But I was proud of my body and I had always kept myself in reasonable shape.

He was full of energy and could go all night.

Whenever we met, we would have sex for hours.

Now, it gets better and better and we have sex as often as we can. Instead of a quickie or a “once a week” obligatory fumble, he surprises me with nights away in hotels and romantic dinners.

Although it’s taken most of my life to enjoy good sex, it’s finally happening and I7 couldn’t be more content.”


PODCASTER Suzanne Noble, 61, who is co-director of online mag Advantages Of Age, is in an open relationship with retired academic Peter Marriot, also 61. Suzanne, who lives in London, says:

“The other day I had a mind-blowing orgasm. I’d been making love with Pete for over an hour when I finally let go.

PROVIDEDPodcaster Suzanne Noble, 61, is in an open relationship with retired academic Peter Marriot, also 61[/caption]

It was luxuriant sex that felt like it could go on for ever.

I never imagined I’d have such incredible sex in my 60s until I met Pete in February.

We experiment, we’re honest and we are completely compatible in the bedroom – all the ingredients you need.

We’re also in an open relationship. So far I’ve had sex with another man in his 40s, who I met online.

I feel more powerful and sexual than ever. I lost my virginity when I was 17 and from then on I had flings – which were unremarkable – until I met my ex-husband when I was 28.

My marital sex was predictable, I wasn’t mature enough to talk about what turned me on.

In my 40s I had some pretty wild times – some of the sex was good, but some was terrible. Then in my early 50s I hit the menopause and lost my libido for a few years.

When I was 56 I met a man and we were together for four years, but he wasn’t affectionate and in the last year we were celibate. I didn’t want to live like that.

In the last couple of years I’ve lost two stone, going from size 14 to 10, and feel more confident than ever.

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  • Suzanne’s podcast can be found at
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Managing Relationships While Working in the Adult Industry Comments Off on Managing Relationships While Working in the Adult Industry 299

Navigating romantic relationships can be complex, and this complexity often intensifies when one or both partners are involved in the adult industry. In this guide, we’ll explore practical strategies for maintaining healthy relationships, fostering open communication, and addressing challenges that may arise when one’s profession involves adult entertainment.

1. Open Communication:

Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship, especially when working in the adult industry. Establishing open and honest communication channels helps build trust and understanding between partners.

Example: Provide communication tips, such as setting aside dedicated time for discussions, creating a judgment-free zone, and actively listening to each other’s concerns.

2. Establishing Boundaries:

Clearly defining and respecting boundaries is crucial for both partners. Discussing comfort levels, expectations, and limits ensures that both individuals feel secure in the relationship.

Example: Offer guidance on how to have constructive conversations about boundaries, emphasizing the importance of mutual consent and compromise.

3. Building a Support System:

Developing a robust support system is essential. This includes friends, family, or colleagues who understand and respect the nature of the profession and can offer support during challenging times.

Example: Share stories of couples who have successfully built strong support systems and provide tips on how to nurture these networks.

4. Trust and Transparency:

Trust is a cornerstone of any relationship but becomes even more critical when working in the adult industry. Being transparent about one’s work and addressing concerns promptly helps foster trust between partners.

Example: Illustrate the positive outcomes of trust-building actions, such as being open about work schedules, discussing potential challenges, and offering reassurance.

5. Educating Partners:

Sometimes, misunderstandings arise due to lack of knowledge. Educating partners about the adult industry, its dynamics, and dispelling common myths can promote a better understanding of the profession.

Example: Create a guide for individuals to share with their partners, explaining the realities of the adult industry, emphasizing the consensual nature of the work, and addressing misconceptions.

6. Coping with External Judgments:

Working in the adult industry often comes with societal stigma. Discuss strategies for coping with external judgments and maintaining a strong sense of self-worth within the relationship.

Example: Share empowering stories of individuals who have successfully navigated societal stigma, emphasizing self-love and resilience.

7. Seeking Professional Guidance:

Relationships can benefit from professional guidance. Encouraging couples to seek counseling or therapy when faced with challenges can provide a neutral space for communication and support.

Example: Highlight success stories of couples who have sought therapy to strengthen their relationship and provide resources for finding qualified professionals.

8. Planning for the Future:

Discussing future plans is vital for any couple. Addressing long-term goals, such as career transitions or family planning, helps both partners feel secure and invested in the relationship.

Example: Offer advice on creating a shared vision for the future, navigating career changes, and making joint decisions that align with both partners’ aspirations.


Successfully managing relationships while working in the adult industry requires a combination of open communication, trust-building, and a proactive approach to addressing challenges. By fostering understanding, establishing clear boundaries, and seeking support when needed, couples can build strong, resilient relationships that thrive despite the unique demands of the profession. Remember, every relationship is unique, and adapting these strategies to suit individual needs is key to a fulfilling and supportive partnership.

Understanding and Navigating the World of Online Adult Content Comments Off on Understanding and Navigating the World of Online Adult Content 285

The internet has transformed the way we access and consume information, including adult content. Navigating this vast and often complex digital landscape requires understanding, responsibility, and respect. In this guide, we’ll explore key aspects of online adult content, helping you make informed choices while ensuring a safe and enjoyable experience.

1. Diverse Platforms and Formats:

Online adult content is not confined to a single platform or format. From websites and streaming services to interactive content, understanding the variety available is essential.

Example: Differentiate between mainstream adult websites, premium subscription services, and emerging interactive platforms, providing a glimpse into the diverse options.

2. Privacy and Security:

Respecting privacy is crucial when engaging with adult content online. This includes understanding the importance of secure connections, anonymous browsing, and being mindful of personal data.

Example: Provide tips on using virtual private networks (VPNs), secure payment methods, and the importance of reading privacy policies on adult websites.

3. Responsible Consumption:

Consuming adult content responsibly involves being aware of ethical considerations. This includes consent, avoiding illegal content, and understanding the potential impact on relationships.

Example: Share stories or case studies illustrating the importance of responsible consumption and the potential consequences of engaging with non-consensual or illegal content.

4. Age Verification and Restrictions:

Most countries have regulations regarding the access to adult content, often requiring age verification. Understanding and complying with these regulations is vital for legal and ethical reasons.

Example: Provide a step-by-step guide on age verification processes on different platforms and emphasize the importance of adherence to legal requirements.

5. Impact on Mental Health:

Consuming adult content can have varying effects on mental health. It’s crucial to be aware of the potential impact and seek support if needed.

Example: Discuss the potential consequences of excessive consumption, addiction, or unrealistic expectations, and provide resources for mental health support.

6. Consent and Ethical Production:

Understanding the concept of consent extends to the production of adult content. Ethical consumption involves supporting platforms and creators that prioritize the well-being and consent of performers.

Example: Showcase initiatives or platforms that prioritize ethical production, emphasize performer rights, and provide fair compensation.

7. Balancing Fantasies with Reality:

Distinguishing between fantasy and reality is important when consuming adult content. Developing a healthy perspective on sexuality involves recognizing the difference between scripted entertainment and real-life relationships.

Example: Share anecdotes or expert opinions on how to maintain a balanced view of sexuality and relationships while consuming adult content.

8. Community and Education:

Online communities and educational resources play a role in promoting healthy discussions about adult content. Engaging with like-minded individuals and staying informed contributes to a positive online experience.

Example: Highlight reputable online forums or educational platforms where individuals can learn more about various aspects of adult content, share experiences, and ask questions.


Navigating the world of online adult content requires a balanced approach, combining awareness, responsibility, and respect. By understanding the diverse landscape, prioritizing privacy and security, and promoting ethical consumption, individuals can ensure a positive and consensual online experience. Remember, responsible engagement contributes to a healthier digital environment for both consumers and content creators alike.

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