I’m a sexpert – here’s 8 red flag signs of trouble in your sex life Comments Off on I’m a sexpert – here’s 8 red flag signs of trouble in your sex life 278

KEEPING the sexual passion alive in a relationsip is no easy task.

A good sex life is not just about how much you do it, but how satisfying it is.

GettyTracey Cox reveals the signs your sex life is in the dumps[/caption]

That’s accroding to Tracey Cox, relationships expert and author.

You and your partner may know everything about each other.

But when it comes to sex, how open are you about what turns you on (and off)?

Communication is the cornerstone of a vibrant sex life, Tracey says.

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“Treats”, masturbation and initiation are also important.

Speaking to MailOnline, Tracey reveals your sex life might be in trouble if…

Sex feels like a chore

Tracey says it’s normal to occasionally think of sex as a chore, or do it simply to please your partner. 

“What I’m talking about here is different: it’s feeling weary at the prospect of ALL sex sessions,” she says.

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“Seeing it as something to tick off the ‘to do’ list, rather than a source of pleasure and connection.”

She says stress and not enough sleep are usually the two factors that drive a disinterest in sex. 

“Too much of one, not enough of the other,” she says. 

“Routine sex is the other biggie: predictability is a lust killer.”

You don’t masturbate

If you don’t masturbate, you’re missing out on “crucial” information, Tracey says. 

“It’s how we learn what arouses us and what technique works to make us climax,” she says.

“Having regular orgasms reminds us how good sex feels, making us more likely to seek out sex with our partners.

“Physically, orgasms are good for you because they increase blood flow, improve circulation and heart health, reduce stress and promote feelings of well-being.”

She says people should aim to masturbate at least once a week.

But while stats show men tend to do it 2-3 times a week, women only do so once a week or less so.

You haven’t figured out what you like 

How can you get the best from your partner, when you don’t even know what you want?

Tracey says “you have to know what you want, in order to ask for it”.

Once you and your partner know more about what you both like, the better the sex will be.

She says: “If you don’t know what technique suits you, what pressure and speed, where it feels best and when you like it, your chances of having a lifetime of great sex are extremely low.

“Think about what arouses you. Watching or reading something sexy? Running a fantasy in your head? Seeing your partner undress or naked?

“What part of sex do you enjoy best? Being stroked? Oral sex? Using sex toys? Dressing up and exciting your partner? How do you have most of your orgasms? What’s the most reliable way for you to orgasm?

“Once you’ve figured all this out, tell your partner.”

Your partner is a taker 

Are you a giver or a taker?

Whatever you are – and Tracey says there is no perfect balance – you may feel hard done by in your sex life.

“If you feel like you do all the work during sex and your partner simply lies back and takes, resentment sets in,” Tracey says. 

“If your partner rarely returns the favour by pleasuring you and it’s something you want them to do, speak up.”

Blaming your partner for being lazy or being a taker is not going to get you anywhere.

Tracey says: “Tactfully pointing out that the balance is uneven, will. (‘I love our sex but lately I feel like I’m the one making all the effort. Can we switch roles and I get to lie back and enjoy next time?’)”

One person always initiates

If your sex life is in the dumps, consider who always initiates sex.

Tracey says: “If sex doesn’t happen unless you suggest it, your partner is sending a clear message: I don’t really like having sex with you and only do it to please you.

“This is why initiating sex more often is one of the most important things you can do to improve your sex life.

“Not only will it make your partner happy, being the one to say ‘Hey, how about it?’ makes you feel sexier and more powerful.

“Shifting the power dynamic from ‘chased’ to ‘chaser’ increases confidence and libido.”

You don’t plan sexual treats

It’s one you’ve heard before – buy a new sex toy, a weekend away or a new set of lingerie.

But how often do you do it? 

Tracey says: “Sexual treats are things you do together to celebrate sex. 

“Turn it into an event. A way of showing each other that sex is something you treasure and look forward to.

“You might watch a movie or TV show with sex scenes you know you’ll both enjoy. Try something you’ve always wanted to. Have a bath with a glass of champagne, before heading to bed for a leisurely sex session.”

Tracey recommended a “sex treat” every month, or at least every two months.

You never “warm up”

Without warming yourself up prior to sex, you’re probably not going to enjoy it as much, Tracey sas. 

We imagine “warming up” as the role of our partner. But Tracey says if you’re waiting around for it, take the initiative to do it yourself, or it might never happen.

“This might mean disappearing to the bathroom with your phone and a vibrator for a bit. It might mean having a bath and fantasising,” she says.

“Do whatever works for you to start sex ‘warm’ not ‘cold’ – you’re far more likely to enjoy it and climax if you do.”

You don’t talk about sex

Tracey finishes on her most important tip.

She says “it’s impossible to have a great sex life without good communication”.

“Being able to talk openly about what you like and don’t like in bed, discuss any changes you’re experiencing and how sex is feeling for you right now, without embarrassment or fear of being judged, is crucial,” Tracey says.

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“It’s never too late to start talking about sex and it’s easy to start the conversation.

“Wait until you’re chatting comfortably, then say, ‘Have you noticed we never talk about sex together? I read an article saying all couples should do it. Shall we give it a try? It might be fun/interesting’.”

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Managing Relationships While Working in the Adult Industry Comments Off on Managing Relationships While Working in the Adult Industry 186

Navigating romantic relationships can be complex, and this complexity often intensifies when one or both partners are involved in the adult industry. In this guide, we’ll explore practical strategies for maintaining healthy relationships, fostering open communication, and addressing challenges that may arise when one’s profession involves adult entertainment.

1. Open Communication:

Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship, especially when working in the adult industry. Establishing open and honest communication channels helps build trust and understanding between partners.

Example: Provide communication tips, such as setting aside dedicated time for discussions, creating a judgment-free zone, and actively listening to each other’s concerns.

2. Establishing Boundaries:

Clearly defining and respecting boundaries is crucial for both partners. Discussing comfort levels, expectations, and limits ensures that both individuals feel secure in the relationship.

Example: Offer guidance on how to have constructive conversations about boundaries, emphasizing the importance of mutual consent and compromise.

3. Building a Support System:

Developing a robust support system is essential. This includes friends, family, or colleagues who understand and respect the nature of the profession and can offer support during challenging times.

Example: Share stories of couples who have successfully built strong support systems and provide tips on how to nurture these networks.

4. Trust and Transparency:

Trust is a cornerstone of any relationship but becomes even more critical when working in the adult industry. Being transparent about one’s work and addressing concerns promptly helps foster trust between partners.

Example: Illustrate the positive outcomes of trust-building actions, such as being open about work schedules, discussing potential challenges, and offering reassurance.

5. Educating Partners:

Sometimes, misunderstandings arise due to lack of knowledge. Educating partners about the adult industry, its dynamics, and dispelling common myths can promote a better understanding of the profession.

Example: Create a guide for individuals to share with their partners, explaining the realities of the adult industry, emphasizing the consensual nature of the work, and addressing misconceptions.

6. Coping with External Judgments:

Working in the adult industry often comes with societal stigma. Discuss strategies for coping with external judgments and maintaining a strong sense of self-worth within the relationship.

Example: Share empowering stories of individuals who have successfully navigated societal stigma, emphasizing self-love and resilience.

7. Seeking Professional Guidance:

Relationships can benefit from professional guidance. Encouraging couples to seek counseling or therapy when faced with challenges can provide a neutral space for communication and support.

Example: Highlight success stories of couples who have sought therapy to strengthen their relationship and provide resources for finding qualified professionals.

8. Planning for the Future:

Discussing future plans is vital for any couple. Addressing long-term goals, such as career transitions or family planning, helps both partners feel secure and invested in the relationship.

Example: Offer advice on creating a shared vision for the future, navigating career changes, and making joint decisions that align with both partners’ aspirations.


Successfully managing relationships while working in the adult industry requires a combination of open communication, trust-building, and a proactive approach to addressing challenges. By fostering understanding, establishing clear boundaries, and seeking support when needed, couples can build strong, resilient relationships that thrive despite the unique demands of the profession. Remember, every relationship is unique, and adapting these strategies to suit individual needs is key to a fulfilling and supportive partnership.

Understanding and Navigating the World of Online Adult Content Comments Off on Understanding and Navigating the World of Online Adult Content 181

The internet has transformed the way we access and consume information, including adult content. Navigating this vast and often complex digital landscape requires understanding, responsibility, and respect. In this guide, we’ll explore key aspects of online adult content, helping you make informed choices while ensuring a safe and enjoyable experience.

1. Diverse Platforms and Formats:

Online adult content is not confined to a single platform or format. From websites and streaming services to interactive content, understanding the variety available is essential.

Example: Differentiate between mainstream adult websites, premium subscription services, and emerging interactive platforms, providing a glimpse into the diverse options.

2. Privacy and Security:

Respecting privacy is crucial when engaging with adult content online. This includes understanding the importance of secure connections, anonymous browsing, and being mindful of personal data.

Example: Provide tips on using virtual private networks (VPNs), secure payment methods, and the importance of reading privacy policies on adult websites.

3. Responsible Consumption:

Consuming adult content responsibly involves being aware of ethical considerations. This includes consent, avoiding illegal content, and understanding the potential impact on relationships.

Example: Share stories or case studies illustrating the importance of responsible consumption and the potential consequences of engaging with non-consensual or illegal content.

4. Age Verification and Restrictions:

Most countries have regulations regarding the access to adult content, often requiring age verification. Understanding and complying with these regulations is vital for legal and ethical reasons.

Example: Provide a step-by-step guide on age verification processes on different platforms and emphasize the importance of adherence to legal requirements.

5. Impact on Mental Health:

Consuming adult content can have varying effects on mental health. It’s crucial to be aware of the potential impact and seek support if needed.

Example: Discuss the potential consequences of excessive consumption, addiction, or unrealistic expectations, and provide resources for mental health support.

6. Consent and Ethical Production:

Understanding the concept of consent extends to the production of adult content. Ethical consumption involves supporting platforms and creators that prioritize the well-being and consent of performers.

Example: Showcase initiatives or platforms that prioritize ethical production, emphasize performer rights, and provide fair compensation.

7. Balancing Fantasies with Reality:

Distinguishing between fantasy and reality is important when consuming adult content. Developing a healthy perspective on sexuality involves recognizing the difference between scripted entertainment and real-life relationships.

Example: Share anecdotes or expert opinions on how to maintain a balanced view of sexuality and relationships while consuming adult content.

8. Community and Education:

Online communities and educational resources play a role in promoting healthy discussions about adult content. Engaging with like-minded individuals and staying informed contributes to a positive online experience.

Example: Highlight reputable online forums or educational platforms where individuals can learn more about various aspects of adult content, share experiences, and ask questions.


Navigating the world of online adult content requires a balanced approach, combining awareness, responsibility, and respect. By understanding the diverse landscape, prioritizing privacy and security, and promoting ethical consumption, individuals can ensure a positive and consensual online experience. Remember, responsible engagement contributes to a healthier digital environment for both consumers and content creators alike.

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