I’m a sexpert – why you should ALWAYS avoid these colours in your bedroom and why furniture placement is vital 0 70

YOU’D PROBABLY be less up for some sexy time if you’re staying in your nan’s floral spare room than you would a lush hotel.

That’s because whether you’ve thought about it or not, where you sleep drastically affects your sex life.

The style of your bedroom can directly affect your sex life, this sexpert says

But it turns out there’s much more to it than that, in fact everything you keep in your room can impact it, down to the pictures on your bedside table.

Sexpert and taboo buster Jess Wilde spoke to Fabulous and revealed how the furniture your room and even colour of your walls can help spice things up.

“There are specific colours that can really help to assist your sex life and in the same vein there are some colours that can get in the way,” she explained.

“The classic colours that we hear all time time that are associated with passion and sex are red and pink.”

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But if you don’t like red and don’t want your bedroom to look like it belongs to a Disney princess, dark purple or black can be good options.

“A lot of people are scared of going for dark colours in decorating in general, but it can be a great way of making a space feel cosy and a setting a mood and a tone,” sexpert Jess said.

When you paint your bedroom or put up fancy wallpaper sex might not be the first thing on your mind, decorating is stressful after all.

But regardless of interior trends or what colours match your furniture, some colours are always a no go for the bedroom.

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Jess revealed: “Colours to avoid would be grey and green, both of these colours are associated with a less active sex life.

“Green in particular is more associated with relaxation, so whilst it might be great for adding to sleep, it may not necessarily be great for initiating feelings of sexiness.”

Once the colour of your bedroom has been dealt with it’s important to tackle any mess, that means don’t leave any dirty laundry on the floor.

Jess says “a cluttered, messy bedroom is not conducive to a positive sex life.

“Not only does it get in the way and somewhat ruin the mood but also there is study that cam out from UCLA which showed women who have a messier bedrooms have higher levels of cortisol,” she explained.

I’m not completely against having tech in your bedroom, just make sure that you use it mindfully when it comes to improving your sex life.

Jess WildeSexpert

Cortisol is a hormone that’s associated with feelings of anxiety and stress, “which are all the absolute opposite of feeling sexy and aroused and in the mood for sex,” Jess says.

And If you’ve fought with your partner over having a tv in the bedroom , you’re not alone.

The argument of whether you should keep a tv in your room has been going on for decades.

But contrary to popular belief, it’s not necessarily a bad thing for your sex life, unless of course you slob out watching reality tv all day, leaving no time for any sex.

“I do think that your bedroom shouldn’t be a space that’s predominantly used for watching tv,” The sexpert confessed.

But according to the pro, eager couples or singletons can make the most of the tv in their bedroom by watching something that gets them in the mood.

“That can obviously be something as direct as porn, but it doesn’t have to be, It could be a movie that you love that has got a really spicy sex scene in it and whenever you put it on it gets you feeling frisky.

“So, I’m not completely against having tech in your bedroom, just make sure that you use it mindfully when it comes to improving your sex life.”

When it comes to the furniture in your room, it can be as sexy as you want it to be.

You don’t have to go full on 50 Shades of Grey and hang a bunch of whips up next to your work uniform, it’s all about the power of association.

Jess says that by keeping sex toys and sexy accessories in your bedside table “whenever you see that top drawer you think, ‘oh I know what’s in there’ and it gets the ball rolling.”

She continued: “Having that ease of access is really important, “it puts sex as a priority in your mind, and that’s the first place to make sure that you’re having an active sex life, If sex isn’t active in your mind it wont be active in your life.”

Think twice about the photos you keep in your bedroom as well, Jess said: “I don’t know about you but I don’t particularly want to look at a picture of a close family member on my bedside table when I’m getting down to business.”

The position of your furniture can impact your sex life too.

“Not only does this have practical implication,” she explained, “if your bed is in a good place in the bedroom where you’ve got lots of ability to experiment – on the bed, off the bed, against the bed – it will also keep sex as a priority in your mind.”

If you move into a home with your partner, considering the layout of the bedroom is something that’s overlooked in terms of sex.

“If you know when you set the layout of your bedroom you had sex on your mind, it wasn’t just sleep, or where you put your clothes.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t particularly want to look at a picture of a close family member on my bedside table when I’m getting down to business

Jess WildeSexpert

“It means it is priority in your mind and reminds you and your partner that sex is important to both of you and to your relationship,” Jess said.

And most importantly, if you can put the head of your bed against a wall that isn’t shared with anyone else.

“It doesn’t keep it terribly discrete for the other people in your house and it’s going to take you out of the moment,” she explained.

Having other furniture in your room which you can utilise for sex is a great thing to add to your bedroom, this could be chair “that can be a great alternative piece of furniture for having sex, or against, or maybe giving your partner a show.”

You probably already have a mirror of some sort in your bedroom, but you can reconsider the placement of the mirror to spice things up.

“For other people that don’t want to see themselves, it’s equally important to think about where that mirror goes,” accoring to the sex guru.

“You might be a couple that doesn’t want to see yourselves having sex and that would put you off, if that’s the case then of course do the opposite.”

If you live with other people, no matter what, lock the door.

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The sex pro explained: “Just knowing there’s a lock on the door and nobody could, even if you think they wouldn’t accidentally walk into the bedroom.

“It enables your mind to be completely engaged on the moment at hand and to maximise on your pleasure.”

Jess WildeJess says your bedroom can make a massive difference to your sex life[/caption] GettyHaving an active sex life is all about keeping it in the forefront of your mind[/caption]

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My bitter ex told lies to my friends about my ‘small manhood’ after I dumped her 0 40

DEAR DEIDRE: MY ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger.

She never complained when we were together, but last week she told the girls in our group that being with me was “like kissing a soggy lettuce leaf” and that she “literally didn’t feel a thing when we were having sex” because I’m so small.

My ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger

I’m 25 and she’s 24. I think part of it is jealousy.

She knows a couple of the other girls fancy me and I think she’s trying to sabotage any chance I have with them.

Not that I’m even planning anything.

She’s so insecure and has a vicious tongue on her.

I’m tempted to let each of her so-called friends know what she really says about them in private.

Even her best friend gets a nasty critique every time she posts anything on Instagram.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Her top is either too short, or her hair looks like wire, or her laugh is fake . . . it goes on and on.

I don’t regret splitting up with her but this last trick has really infuriated me.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t let yourself stoop to her level.

You can make it clear she is lying without playing her game, which would only escalate tensions and reflect badly on you.

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You could maybe reply with: “Let’s just say she never complained when we were together and nor have any of my other exes.”

Your friends will soon see her behaviour for what it is – jealous insecurity.

My partner said he was on a work trip – but he was actually getting married and on his honeymoon 0 28

DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner said he was on a work trip two months ago, but he had actually got married and been on honeymoon.

Our relationship had become a bit predictable, but we still had regular sex and nice days out with our two young sons.

My partner lied about his work trip – he was really on his HONEYMOON

I’m 32 and he’s 37. Our sons are four and two.

When he returned from his “work trip” he blamed me for his cheating, saying I had let myself go and didn’t pay him enough attention.

He then told me he’d “traded up” for a better model. It didn’t stop there.

He said that his wife, who is 27, is absolutely stunning and makes him feel special.

Apparently this woman was a barmaid he’d met on a golf trip and they had been seeing each other for six months.

He told me all this, then marched upstairs and packed his games console and his clothes and drove off out of my life.

The thing is, we always talked about getting married but when we had kids there always seemed something better to spend our money on.

Mutual friends have told me he has moved into a new-build home on the other side of our small town and his wife has plenty of family money.

My sons are really missing him and I don’t even know how I feel.

Sometimes when he comes to visit the boys I beg him to come home.

But other times I’m so angry with him, I refuse to let him in.

Now he is accusing me of stopping him from seeing his children.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Surely he can’t just show up when he likes?

I’m a mess and need to start getting a grip for the kids’ sake.

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DEIDRE SAYS: I’m so sorry your partner ended your relationship in such a cruel way.

This man sounds selfish and immature, and quite frankly the way he has treated you is emotionally abusive.

It won’t feel like it now, but you really are better off without him.

He is behaving like he still lives in your home, by just turning up unannounced.

Tell him firmly that you would encourage a good relationship between him and your sons but he can only collect them with prior arrangement.

Start to put down your boundaries.

I’m sending you my support pack When Parents Fall Out, which you could pass to him to help explain why you need to co-operate for the future wellbeing of your children.

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Give yourself time and be kind to yourself. He put you down constantly, now you can start to build up your confidence.

I’d recommend seeing a counsellor to help you with this betrayal and am sending you my Counselling support pack.

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