I’m a relationship expert – the first date red flags which mean you are doomed to fail 0 77

IF your date checks off anything on this list, don’t offer them a second one.

Relationship expert Jaime Bronstein is the host of Love Talk Live on LA Talk Radio and was even named the #1 Relationship Coach by Yahoo Finance.

@martha.abelson.photographyJaime Bronstein spoke exclusively with The Sun to share nine red flags to look out for on a first date[/caption]

Bronstein spoke exclusively with The Sun to share what she believes are the most important red flags to look out for on a first date.

The love expert shares her tips with her 91k followers on Instagram, and urges people to use their intuition when it comes to dating.

“If you feel like something doesn’t feel right, or it seems a little off, then trust that,” she said.

“If there’s an alert in your conciseness telling you to ‘run,’ or that ‘this is weird,’ trust that.”

Bronstein shared the top nine red flags to look out for on a first date, and said that “if the person has any of these things, you want to run.”

BRAGGING

“If someone is name dropping or brand dropping, like instead of saying they have a car they say ‘I have a Ferrari,’ it’s very unattractive,” she said.

“Cocky is very different than confident.”

“It might mean that they’re just nervous or that they’re insecure, but the point is that it probably isn’t going to change.”

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NEGATIVE EX TALK

“If they talk negatively about their ex or are criticizing their ex in anyway, it’s once again just not attractive,” said Bronstein.

Along with juddgeing their ex, the expert said if they begin to judge or criticize you, that’s also a huge red flag.

“It’s negative energy, and it’s not attractive.”

“It’s giving you insight into their personality, and why they think it’ appropriate to talk like that, is not something that you want to bring into your relationship.”

She said this also applies to them talking negatively about friends and family as well.

“Do you really want to get involved with someone when this could happen to you?”

THEY DON’T ASK QUESTIONS

“If they don’t ask you questions, if they’re only talking about themself, first of all that’s not an enjoyable conversation to have.”

“It means that they’re vain and just full of themselves,” she said.

“Why would you want to be in a relationship like that?”

ON THEIR PHONE

Bronstein said that if your date is spending time looking at their phone or around the room or really anywhere other than you, they’re not the one.

“They’re just not being present,” she said.

“If you’re on a date, you want your date to actually be there with you. Or else it’s not fun, not enjoyable, why are you even sitting there?”

DISRESPECTFUL TO WAITSTAFF

Nothing is more embarrassing than someone who is rude to your waiter/waitress.

“That can extrapolate to how they treat other people,” said the expert.

“You want to be with someone who treats people kindly.”

COMMENTS ON PRICES

When your date comments on the price of something, it puts you both in an uncomfortable situation.

“I feel like my stomach would just drop,” Bronstein said.

“It’s like where do you go from there, what do you say?” 

“Not everybody has to be a millionaire, obviously, but it shows this person is conscious about money, which is good, but that little example could turn into huge fights in a relationship.”

“I guarantee it will cause money problems in the relationship and you don’t want to deal with it.”

TOO SEXUAL TOO FAST

Bronstein said if your date is too sexual too fast or talks about sex too much, you should run.

“If they say things like ‘so are you going to come over later?’ Or repeatedly bring up sex or the two of you that evening or in the near future, it’s just not classy.”

“Some people like that because it makes them feel validated or important if they’re insecure, but a secure person wouldn’t.”

“It doesn’t make the other person feel respected.”

DRINKS TOO MUCH

If your date is treating your outing like their back in college, the love expert said that it’s “just not good.”

“If you’re not a big drinker and they are, it’s definitely not attractive.”

“Even if you are a big drinker and they are, it just causes a lot of problems.”

“Drinking too much is never, never a good thing.”

LETS YOU PAY

“If he lets you pay, run,” said the relationship coach.

“Sometimes if a guy lets you pay, or pay half of it, it just means that he’s not that into you.”

“It’s just a disrespectful thing and makes you feel bad about yourself.”

The Love Talk Live host shared her acronym for A.V.O.I.D., which she uses as a first date red flag checklist.

“If the person has any of these things, you want to run.”

The letter ‘A’ stands for arrogance, ‘V’ for vain, ‘O’ for Out of control, ‘I’ for Ignores you, and ‘D’ for dishonest.

She also advises her clients to keep dates as short as possible if they’re not having a good time.

““Even if it’s 15 minutes and you’re like ‘I do not want to be here anymore.’”

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“You can be selfish when it comes to dating.”

“You want it to be fun, not daunting.” 

@baha_danesh‘You can be selfish when it comes to dating’[/caption]

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My bitter ex told lies to my friends about my ‘small manhood’ after I dumped her 0 40

DEAR DEIDRE: MY ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger.

She never complained when we were together, but last week she told the girls in our group that being with me was “like kissing a soggy lettuce leaf” and that she “literally didn’t feel a thing when we were having sex” because I’m so small.

My ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger

I’m 25 and she’s 24. I think part of it is jealousy.

She knows a couple of the other girls fancy me and I think she’s trying to sabotage any chance I have with them.

Not that I’m even planning anything.

She’s so insecure and has a vicious tongue on her.

I’m tempted to let each of her so-called friends know what she really says about them in private.

Even her best friend gets a nasty critique every time she posts anything on Instagram.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Her top is either too short, or her hair looks like wire, or her laugh is fake . . . it goes on and on.

I don’t regret splitting up with her but this last trick has really infuriated me.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t let yourself stoop to her level.

You can make it clear she is lying without playing her game, which would only escalate tensions and reflect badly on you.

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You could maybe reply with: “Let’s just say she never complained when we were together and nor have any of my other exes.”

Your friends will soon see her behaviour for what it is – jealous insecurity.

My partner said he was on a work trip – but he was actually getting married and on his honeymoon 0 28

DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner said he was on a work trip two months ago, but he had actually got married and been on honeymoon.

Our relationship had become a bit predictable, but we still had regular sex and nice days out with our two young sons.

My partner lied about his work trip – he was really on his HONEYMOON

I’m 32 and he’s 37. Our sons are four and two.

When he returned from his “work trip” he blamed me for his cheating, saying I had let myself go and didn’t pay him enough attention.

He then told me he’d “traded up” for a better model. It didn’t stop there.

He said that his wife, who is 27, is absolutely stunning and makes him feel special.

Apparently this woman was a barmaid he’d met on a golf trip and they had been seeing each other for six months.

He told me all this, then marched upstairs and packed his games console and his clothes and drove off out of my life.

The thing is, we always talked about getting married but when we had kids there always seemed something better to spend our money on.

Mutual friends have told me he has moved into a new-build home on the other side of our small town and his wife has plenty of family money.

My sons are really missing him and I don’t even know how I feel.

Sometimes when he comes to visit the boys I beg him to come home.

But other times I’m so angry with him, I refuse to let him in.

Now he is accusing me of stopping him from seeing his children.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Surely he can’t just show up when he likes?

I’m a mess and need to start getting a grip for the kids’ sake.

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DEIDRE SAYS: I’m so sorry your partner ended your relationship in such a cruel way.

This man sounds selfish and immature, and quite frankly the way he has treated you is emotionally abusive.

It won’t feel like it now, but you really are better off without him.

He is behaving like he still lives in your home, by just turning up unannounced.

Tell him firmly that you would encourage a good relationship between him and your sons but he can only collect them with prior arrangement.

Start to put down your boundaries.

I’m sending you my support pack When Parents Fall Out, which you could pass to him to help explain why you need to co-operate for the future wellbeing of your children.

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Give yourself time and be kind to yourself. He put you down constantly, now you can start to build up your confidence.

I’d recommend seeing a counsellor to help you with this betrayal and am sending you my Counselling support pack.

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