I’ve dated men who are both big and small but when it comes to size does it really matter, asks Vanessa Feltz Comments Off on I’ve dated men who are both big and small but when it comes to size does it really matter, asks Vanessa Feltz 258

BRITISH men have come 66th in an international study of penis sizes from around the world.

They measured up at an average of 5.17in when erect, compared to our French neighbours at 6.20in.

Vanessa Feltz and partner Ben Ofoedu Vanessa says: ‘I’d like to know who got the job of chief measurer?’

Firstly, I’d like to know who got the job of chief measurer?

I’m a little disappointed nobody asked me. I have a radio show and am a grandmother of three, but I could have found time to squeeze that in as a little side hustle.

Secondly, I don’t know how you would substantiate such a list.

It seems to be pseudoscience of a positively anti-British nature and I would be devastated if any of my countrymen were to feel in any way less manly and exquisitely endowed.

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But does size actually matter?

To answer this question leaves me in somewhat of a dilemma, because women of a certain maturity know there is something you tell gentlemen and then there is something you secretly think to yourself.

I can give you the answer I would put forward in mixed company, which is: Absolutely not. All that really matters is the motion in the ocean.

It’s about the energy, foreplay and romantic titillation of the encounter, not the acreage, square footage, diameter or circumference.

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That’s the answer I’ve given both privately and publicly over the years.

But in truth, and I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings here, for a man to unveil a small appendage, it’s impossible not to feel a slight frisson of disappointment.


However, I will add that in my experience, this disappointment is not always well founded.

A recent study found that size DOES matter.

Researchers at King’s College in London recruited 12 couples and reduced the size of the man’s appendage by an inch using a silicone ring around the base.

The couples had intercourse with and without the rings and the results showed the extra inch improved the sexual pleasure for the women.

But these were existing couples — of course the women were used to their partner’s natural length. To cut it short would no doubt change their sexual experience somewhat.

But I wouldn’t say that big is always necessarily better.

I’ll never forget in my wanton youth an encounter with a professional bodybuilder, which in those days was even more of a rare sight than it is now.

Frankly, the size of his biceps did establish a certain level of great expectations for what would be down below.

I remember the terrific shock to the system when I realised that although he’d developed his glutes and his pecs, there was one part of his body that lifting weights simply wouldn’t elongate.

The initial disappointment remains with me to this day.

Similarly, I can’t erase from my memory the cataclysmic shock when a slight gentleman of fairly diminutive frame turned out to possess a lunchbox of such grand dimensions. It was the stuff of fantasy.

My discretion compels me to draw a veil upon how deeply I explored the endowments of these two distinguished gentlemen.

But I can say that the bodybuilder displayed an ardour and endurance that more than made up for any shortcomings.

The small, thin fellow was so frighteningly well-endowed I was too intimidated to partake.

You see, us women know that it’s not all about penetration.

One study from Indiana University in the US found that 36.6 per cent of women needed clitoral stimulation to reach climax, and in that case, it would follow that the size of the penis matters far less.

Men who might be less endowed should hopefully find other, more creative, ways to please their partner.

Frankly, if the unsheathing of the sword reveals a somewhat miniature piece of equipment, that’s when women should remind themselves of the sensible advice that’s been given since time began: It’s about how it’s used and who you are with — and whether you actually fancy them or not.

The small, thin fellow was so frighteningly well-endowed I was too intimidated to partake.

You sharply jolly yourself out of that disappointment by reminding yourself very swiftly not to take these things at face value.  And certainly not to whip out your tape measure.


While you want a man who is at least in a proportion — not vastly out of kilter with the shape of the rest of him — I do believe that if someone is very sexy, talented at what they do in the boudoir department and takes the time (someone who smells nice, is a good kisser and doesn’t fumble around in an unpleasant way) then the size just becomes much less relevant and pivotal.

But if the person is really clumsy, cack-handed and selfish, then the fact their penis is piffling will seem quite relevant.

If you fall for a man and love him unconditionally, then his penis is just a part of him.

But if you don’t love him then it’s easier to focus on the size, and you think, “Actually mate, never again. You have a penis like an acorn and I’m not into it.”

But I would add, and this is very important, you never say so. That’s the golden rule.

Never exclaim about the lack of girth or length. You must absolutely train yourself never to look horrified or pull out a magnifying glass.

You must always look enthralled and thrilled to bits. Always. That is fundamental to good manners.

And when it comes to my Ben? The thing that attracted me was his smile.

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But he does take size 14½ shoes.

  • As told to Joel Cooper

Vanessa says Ben take size 14½ shoes.

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Managing Relationships While Working in the Adult Industry Comments Off on Managing Relationships While Working in the Adult Industry 186

Navigating romantic relationships can be complex, and this complexity often intensifies when one or both partners are involved in the adult industry. In this guide, we’ll explore practical strategies for maintaining healthy relationships, fostering open communication, and addressing challenges that may arise when one’s profession involves adult entertainment.

1. Open Communication:

Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship, especially when working in the adult industry. Establishing open and honest communication channels helps build trust and understanding between partners.

Example: Provide communication tips, such as setting aside dedicated time for discussions, creating a judgment-free zone, and actively listening to each other’s concerns.

2. Establishing Boundaries:

Clearly defining and respecting boundaries is crucial for both partners. Discussing comfort levels, expectations, and limits ensures that both individuals feel secure in the relationship.

Example: Offer guidance on how to have constructive conversations about boundaries, emphasizing the importance of mutual consent and compromise.

3. Building a Support System:

Developing a robust support system is essential. This includes friends, family, or colleagues who understand and respect the nature of the profession and can offer support during challenging times.

Example: Share stories of couples who have successfully built strong support systems and provide tips on how to nurture these networks.

4. Trust and Transparency:

Trust is a cornerstone of any relationship but becomes even more critical when working in the adult industry. Being transparent about one’s work and addressing concerns promptly helps foster trust between partners.

Example: Illustrate the positive outcomes of trust-building actions, such as being open about work schedules, discussing potential challenges, and offering reassurance.

5. Educating Partners:

Sometimes, misunderstandings arise due to lack of knowledge. Educating partners about the adult industry, its dynamics, and dispelling common myths can promote a better understanding of the profession.

Example: Create a guide for individuals to share with their partners, explaining the realities of the adult industry, emphasizing the consensual nature of the work, and addressing misconceptions.

6. Coping with External Judgments:

Working in the adult industry often comes with societal stigma. Discuss strategies for coping with external judgments and maintaining a strong sense of self-worth within the relationship.

Example: Share empowering stories of individuals who have successfully navigated societal stigma, emphasizing self-love and resilience.

7. Seeking Professional Guidance:

Relationships can benefit from professional guidance. Encouraging couples to seek counseling or therapy when faced with challenges can provide a neutral space for communication and support.

Example: Highlight success stories of couples who have sought therapy to strengthen their relationship and provide resources for finding qualified professionals.

8. Planning for the Future:

Discussing future plans is vital for any couple. Addressing long-term goals, such as career transitions or family planning, helps both partners feel secure and invested in the relationship.

Example: Offer advice on creating a shared vision for the future, navigating career changes, and making joint decisions that align with both partners’ aspirations.


Successfully managing relationships while working in the adult industry requires a combination of open communication, trust-building, and a proactive approach to addressing challenges. By fostering understanding, establishing clear boundaries, and seeking support when needed, couples can build strong, resilient relationships that thrive despite the unique demands of the profession. Remember, every relationship is unique, and adapting these strategies to suit individual needs is key to a fulfilling and supportive partnership.

Understanding and Navigating the World of Online Adult Content Comments Off on Understanding and Navigating the World of Online Adult Content 181

The internet has transformed the way we access and consume information, including adult content. Navigating this vast and often complex digital landscape requires understanding, responsibility, and respect. In this guide, we’ll explore key aspects of online adult content, helping you make informed choices while ensuring a safe and enjoyable experience.

1. Diverse Platforms and Formats:

Online adult content is not confined to a single platform or format. From websites and streaming services to interactive content, understanding the variety available is essential.

Example: Differentiate between mainstream adult websites, premium subscription services, and emerging interactive platforms, providing a glimpse into the diverse options.

2. Privacy and Security:

Respecting privacy is crucial when engaging with adult content online. This includes understanding the importance of secure connections, anonymous browsing, and being mindful of personal data.

Example: Provide tips on using virtual private networks (VPNs), secure payment methods, and the importance of reading privacy policies on adult websites.

3. Responsible Consumption:

Consuming adult content responsibly involves being aware of ethical considerations. This includes consent, avoiding illegal content, and understanding the potential impact on relationships.

Example: Share stories or case studies illustrating the importance of responsible consumption and the potential consequences of engaging with non-consensual or illegal content.

4. Age Verification and Restrictions:

Most countries have regulations regarding the access to adult content, often requiring age verification. Understanding and complying with these regulations is vital for legal and ethical reasons.

Example: Provide a step-by-step guide on age verification processes on different platforms and emphasize the importance of adherence to legal requirements.

5. Impact on Mental Health:

Consuming adult content can have varying effects on mental health. It’s crucial to be aware of the potential impact and seek support if needed.

Example: Discuss the potential consequences of excessive consumption, addiction, or unrealistic expectations, and provide resources for mental health support.

6. Consent and Ethical Production:

Understanding the concept of consent extends to the production of adult content. Ethical consumption involves supporting platforms and creators that prioritize the well-being and consent of performers.

Example: Showcase initiatives or platforms that prioritize ethical production, emphasize performer rights, and provide fair compensation.

7. Balancing Fantasies with Reality:

Distinguishing between fantasy and reality is important when consuming adult content. Developing a healthy perspective on sexuality involves recognizing the difference between scripted entertainment and real-life relationships.

Example: Share anecdotes or expert opinions on how to maintain a balanced view of sexuality and relationships while consuming adult content.

8. Community and Education:

Online communities and educational resources play a role in promoting healthy discussions about adult content. Engaging with like-minded individuals and staying informed contributes to a positive online experience.

Example: Highlight reputable online forums or educational platforms where individuals can learn more about various aspects of adult content, share experiences, and ask questions.


Navigating the world of online adult content requires a balanced approach, combining awareness, responsibility, and respect. By understanding the diverse landscape, prioritizing privacy and security, and promoting ethical consumption, individuals can ensure a positive and consensual online experience. Remember, responsible engagement contributes to a healthier digital environment for both consumers and content creators alike.

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