My partner lets me sleep with other men – it turns him on & I get to do the things I love in the bedroom 0 84

WHILE Marie Newberry is into kinky sex, her partner Ben Elks is not – so he has given her permission to fulfil sexual fantasies with another man.

The couple were both into “vanilla” sex when they met 12 years ago.

Chris McAndrewMarie Newberry’s partner Ben Elks has given her permission to fulfil her sexual fantasies with another man because he isn’t into kinky sex[/caption] Marie and Ben were both into ‘vanilla’ sex when they met 12 years ago

Full-time mum Marie, 30, shared her Fifty Shades Of Grey fantasies with warehouse operative Ben, 31.

But because he wasn’t keen, they are now planning a threesome.

Marie says: “Ben really isn’t into bondage or being submissive during sex, but I find it a huge turn-on.

“He’d be happy with a quickie but I like lots of foreplay.

“I’ve tried to entice Ben with fluffy handcuffs but it feels forced, which isn’t enjoyable for either of us. I end up being the submissive one but I want to feel dominant.

“We’re lucky to have a strong relationship and being open with each other over the years means we’ve found a compromise.

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“Ben wants me to be happy, and vice-versa.”

The Northampton couple, who have two children aged six and five , met at college.

Back then they had the same sexual preferences.

Marie says: “When we first got together, it was romantic and lasted for hours as we got to know what we both enjoyed.

“Sex with my previous partners hadn’t been great and Ben knew exactly what to do. I had my first orgasm with him.

“Then the kids came along and sex turned into rushed quickies before Ben left for work in the morning.

“We wanted to have the kids close together in age, so sex was functional and all about trying to conceive. Sometimes we did it five times a day, although it was always rushed.

‘FIVE TIMES A DAY’

“Ben loved the spontaneity but I missed our long and passionate sessions. As time went on, I felt able to be more honest about what I wanted from sex.

“A few years ago, I was shocked when Ben said he would like to watch me having sex with another man.

“It seemed the perfect solution, as I’d get to do all the things I like in the bedroom and seeing me would make Ben happy.

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“It felt exciting, especially as I thought I was the only one with the kinks. Other men I dated before Ben would never have agreed to it.”

In July last year, Ben agreed to Marie having solo sex with a male friend as long as she texted him before, during and afterwards.

She says: “The idea was that Ben would get turned on by the thought of me having sex with another man and we’d have incredible sex together afterwards.

“It’s called ‘hot-wifing’, and we thought it would be the first step to having a threesome. It didn’t work because Ben admitted he felt left out. I enjoyed the sex but I’d had better with Ben.”

‘TALKING AND FLIRTING’

The couple are now signed up to adult website fetish.com where they hope to find a potential match to fulfil both their fantasies.

Marie says: “I’ve been talking and flirting with a couple of men who have mentioned they like bondage.

“Even them messaging me turns Ben on. If Ben had said no to letting another man in on our sex life, I would’ve accepted it. But I love how we are trying to find a way to fulfil both our sexual fantasies.”

Ben says: “When Marie told me what she wanted in the bedroom I was shocked.

“But it’s important we both enjoy sex, and she gets to do stuff she likes even if not with me.

“Otherwise, it could build up resentment in our relationship. If a partner can’t give the other one what they want during sex it could lead to them looking for it elsewhere — and that’s the last thing that I want to happen.”

Chris McAndrewMarie said: ‘We’re lucky to have a strong relationship and being open with each other over the years means we’ve found a compromise’[/caption]

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My bitter ex told lies to my friends about my ‘small manhood’ after I dumped her 0 40

DEAR DEIDRE: MY ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger.

She never complained when we were together, but last week she told the girls in our group that being with me was “like kissing a soggy lettuce leaf” and that she “literally didn’t feel a thing when we were having sex” because I’m so small.

My ex is so bitter about being dumped that she is spreading nasty rumours around our friendship group – saying I’m rubbish in bed and have a small todger

I’m 25 and she’s 24. I think part of it is jealousy.

She knows a couple of the other girls fancy me and I think she’s trying to sabotage any chance I have with them.

Not that I’m even planning anything.

She’s so insecure and has a vicious tongue on her.

I’m tempted to let each of her so-called friends know what she really says about them in private.

Even her best friend gets a nasty critique every time she posts anything on Instagram.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Her top is either too short, or her hair looks like wire, or her laugh is fake . . . it goes on and on.

I don’t regret splitting up with her but this last trick has really infuriated me.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t let yourself stoop to her level.

You can make it clear she is lying without playing her game, which would only escalate tensions and reflect badly on you.

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You could maybe reply with: “Let’s just say she never complained when we were together and nor have any of my other exes.”

Your friends will soon see her behaviour for what it is – jealous insecurity.

My partner said he was on a work trip – but he was actually getting married and on his honeymoon 0 28

DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner said he was on a work trip two months ago, but he had actually got married and been on honeymoon.

Our relationship had become a bit predictable, but we still had regular sex and nice days out with our two young sons.

My partner lied about his work trip – he was really on his HONEYMOON

I’m 32 and he’s 37. Our sons are four and two.

When he returned from his “work trip” he blamed me for his cheating, saying I had let myself go and didn’t pay him enough attention.

He then told me he’d “traded up” for a better model. It didn’t stop there.

He said that his wife, who is 27, is absolutely stunning and makes him feel special.

Apparently this woman was a barmaid he’d met on a golf trip and they had been seeing each other for six months.

He told me all this, then marched upstairs and packed his games console and his clothes and drove off out of my life.

The thing is, we always talked about getting married but when we had kids there always seemed something better to spend our money on.

Mutual friends have told me he has moved into a new-build home on the other side of our small town and his wife has plenty of family money.

My sons are really missing him and I don’t even know how I feel.

Sometimes when he comes to visit the boys I beg him to come home.

But other times I’m so angry with him, I refuse to let him in.

Now he is accusing me of stopping him from seeing his children.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Surely he can’t just show up when he likes?

I’m a mess and need to start getting a grip for the kids’ sake.

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DEIDRE SAYS: I’m so sorry your partner ended your relationship in such a cruel way.

This man sounds selfish and immature, and quite frankly the way he has treated you is emotionally abusive.

It won’t feel like it now, but you really are better off without him.

He is behaving like he still lives in your home, by just turning up unannounced.

Tell him firmly that you would encourage a good relationship between him and your sons but he can only collect them with prior arrangement.

Start to put down your boundaries.

I’m sending you my support pack When Parents Fall Out, which you could pass to him to help explain why you need to co-operate for the future wellbeing of your children.

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Give yourself time and be kind to yourself. He put you down constantly, now you can start to build up your confidence.

I’d recommend seeing a counsellor to help you with this betrayal and am sending you my Counselling support pack.

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